It's a complicated backstory but suffice it to say that I have a fragile relationship with my DS (20). Today - out of the blue - he invited me out to the cinema - I find it difficult to be spontaneous, especially as I also have a younger dd (7) who is a handful. But I really thought this was a great opportunity for us to do something together and restore some much needed fun in our relationship. I asked DH if he would mind if I went (i.e. would he be able to take care of dd). DH said "Well I'd have to know what you were going to see in case I wanted to see it" (i.e. if he wanted to go I'd have to stay home to take care of DD) - he didn't want to see the film so it was agreed I would go. Before I left DH said he was going out to run some errands, one of which was for me. He would have to take DD with him. When I was on the train with DS, he texted 3 times to tell me about the various dramas he was having with running the errands, coping with DD, and nightmare traffic. All as if I was either responsible or could do something about it. All I could think to reply was "I'm sorry". After the film, DS and I stopped off to grab a bite to eat before the train home. I checked my phone to discover more texts complaining about DD's bedtime. I said we were just eating and would be getting the train after that. When we got home there was no "hello, how was the film?" - only "where have you been? I've been waiting to go out - it was 9pm when you said you were getting the train - it doesn't take that long to eat" (it was just 10.30btw and we live about an hour from London door to door). Moan moan moan. I said "We had a lovely time, thanks for asking. "I'm sure you did" was the response. I had felt so happy having a nice evening with DS. And now I feel sad, deflated and full of anxiety. I don't understand this. I hardly ever go out, let alone with DS. Why was it a problem - is it so effing unreasonable of me to expect to be able to enjoy an evening out now and then without being made to feel anxious about something or other back home? AIBU?
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AIBU?
DH has told me off like a teenager home late from the school disco
125 replies
HoplaBobo · 28/10/2015 23:39
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