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to think that after 20 years, MiL should stop being such a dick and accept me?

(108 Posts)
Tinklewinkle Wed 28-Oct-15 13:08:16

MiL doesn't like me. I don't know why, I've always been nice to her, organise flowers for Mother's Day, send Christmas/birthday cards, email photos of the kids, etc, etc. Normal stuff, I do the same for her as I do for my own family.

She phoned at the weekend to speak to DH, apparently she wants a 'family only' Christmas this year, so she has invited DH and our kids. I am obviously not considered her 'family' as I am specifically excluded from the invite. She wants them to travel up Christmas Eve and stay over until Boxing Day

DH just said "er...no, of course not" and now she's having a strop about never getting to see her family at Christmas, etc, etc.

This isn't the first time she's done something like this, and it won't be the last. DH bollocks her, she goes off in a huff then comes back with something else

I found her quite hurtful, but I'm now at the point where don't actually care if she likes me or not. We live 200 miles away, she's not on my door step so I kind of grit my teeth, make polite chit chat and get on with my life, but honestly we've been together 20 years, marred for 15 with 14 and 10 year old daughters, get over it already!

HPsauciness Wed 28-Oct-15 13:13:59

Outrageous!

Glad your husband said no, surely Christmas is a family event, so you would be with your immediate family.

I can't actually believe she asked if you could stay home alone at Christmas!

Champagneformyrealfriends Wed 28-Oct-15 13:14:17

It's not an issue with you-it's not about you at all. She clearly wants her son to herself and can't cope with him having another woman in his life. Crazy woman-ignore her. YANBU.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 28-Oct-15 13:16:20

20 years! shock.

Has she always tried to exclude you at Christmas and other family occasions?

Kewcumber Wed 28-Oct-15 13:17:42

shock

What on earth does she think your DD's would make of this! She sounds unhinged.

YouTheCat Wed 28-Oct-15 13:18:21

She sounds bat shit.

Just thank your lucky stars you're 200 miles away.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 28-Oct-15 13:18:37

YANBU, she absolutely should stop being such a dick. Glad you've got a decent DH though who told her where to get off with her utterly rude and obnoxious "demands".

ScarletRuby2 Wed 28-Oct-15 13:19:19

She's being completely ridiculous! Your DH has your back on this. I think you're doing exactly the right thing by deciding not to care. Now is the time for rolling your eyes, having a laugh about it and ignoring her.

ShamelessBreadAddict Wed 28-Oct-15 13:19:26

Fucking hell yanbu. She sounds completely bonkers tbh. Glad your DH sounds sensible and you don't have to see her too often. What an odd thing to ask - that you be home alone over Xmas.

GothicRainbow Wed 28-Oct-15 13:19:41

That's utterly crazy!! I agree with champagne I don't think the issue is with you specifically but more to do with wanting her son all to herself.

Really glad your DH doesn't put up with her nonsense!!

PassiveAgressiveQueen Wed 28-Oct-15 13:19:50

my MIL wants stuff that is bloodline only, family photos without partners etc.
I am lucky my OH says no, his brother doesn't, but then the rest of the family jump in.

helenahandbag Wed 28-Oct-15 13:20:09

20 years?! Why on earth does she think she can get away with such rude, bizarre requests?

PassiveAgressiveQueen Wed 28-Oct-15 13:20:36

I should say when her other son got divorced this backed up her opnion that she was right, partners aren't family as they come and go.

LagunaBubbles Wed 28-Oct-15 13:24:52

I don't get this at all! What on earth is going on in her mind she thinks inviting your DH and kids only for Christmas leaving you out is acceptable? You don't treat people like that!

Bloomsberry Wed 28-Oct-15 13:26:29

What did she actually say? 'Please come up for Christmas with the kids, son, but leave your wife at home, as I want a family-only Christmas'???

OnlyLovers Wed 28-Oct-15 13:27:17

She's a twat but your DH is obviously not willing to put up with it.

Ignore the silly mare.

Tinklewinkle Wed 28-Oct-15 13:27:54

This is the first time she's done it at Christmas, but she has tried in the past with other stuff - last year she organised a family day out that I wasn't invited to, and stuff like that

She's always trying to find fault with things I say or do or take offence at something and then stir up a drama

DH bollocks her (then I'm a terrible DiL for coming between her and her son hmm).

I generally ignore her, but sometimes I just think FFS woman, stop being such a dick.

She's not achieving anything, she's just making a fuss for the sake of it.

FishOn Wed 28-Oct-15 13:29:54

WTAF? That's properly bonkers. She honestly thought he'd leave you at home on your own for the whole of Christmas?

ImperialBlether Wed 28-Oct-15 13:30:03

Why the hell do you do anything for her? You know she's telling herself the flowers come from her son, don't you? Don't bloody send them; don't have anything to do with her.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 28-Oct-15 13:30:16

Praise the Lord for each one of those 200 glorious miles that are between you and this woman!

Inertia Wed 28-Oct-15 13:30:43

The woman is mad! What does she expect you to do while your family are with her for Christmas?

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 28-Oct-15 13:32:17

She must be backward if she thought your DH would actually agree to that.

MitzyLeFrouf Wed 28-Oct-15 13:32:47

And for God's sake stop sending her cards and gifts and being a generally nice person to her. She's trying to undermine your family.

Replace her in your mind with a nice benign blank space.

OnlyLovers Wed 28-Oct-15 13:33:19

Yes, I came back on to say stop immediately with the nice stuff like organising flowers for her, sending cards and photos etc. And why isn't your DH doing that kind of thing, anyway?

VimFuego101 Wed 28-Oct-15 13:33:36

I thought your thread title was a bit inflammatory... but no, you're right, she's a dick. At least your DH is on your side and isn't giving in to her ridiculous demands.

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