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Friend wanting to be picked up from airport late at night

(103 Posts)
BeadyEyes Wed 28-Oct-15 11:05:32

A good friend of ours is coming back from a trip and his flight was supposed to land at 10:30pm. DH very kindly agreed to go and pick him up from the airport (10 miles away). Now it transpires that the plane is over an hour late and will be getting in close to midnight. We have two young kids one of whom is very unsettled at night. The reason a friend doesn't want to get a taxi is the cost (not huge). DH is too nice to refuse!

By way of background, both us and our friend and his wife (one child) earn about the same amount of money ( not much) but they also own (no mortgage) two impressively expensive houses while we are paying off a mortgage on a cramped little house...in other words, I'd just pay for a cab and wouldn't expect a lift!

AIBU to be pissed off at my friend for having the cheek to ask, and still expect to be picked up even when the flight is delayed?

Viviennemary Wed 28-Oct-15 11:25:49

I think the time to have refused was when your DH was asked. The plane is only an hour late which isn't that much. You sound very envious of your 'friends'. There will always be folk richer than you.

poocatcherchampion Wed 28-Oct-15 11:26:04

So clearly you don't like this friend. Or perhaps your husband.

Bimblywibble Wed 28-Oct-15 11:27:24

I thought this is a v normal favour to ask of family members, or by extension, friends.

Next time you go on hols, or otherwise need a slightly bigger favour than normal, don't be afraid to ask. It's nice to have some favours owed.

whatsfordinnertoday Wed 28-Oct-15 11:29:42

YABU Giving lifts to/from the airport is what my friends and I do for each other when possible. This year however my holiday flight back landed at 4am so I didn't ask and got a taxi as I thought it would be unreasonable considering she had work the next day. So I think it depends on circumstances (but not whether they have more or less money than me or whether they own their own home!)

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 28-Oct-15 11:32:30

Erm, you are being massively unreasonable! Your DH made the arrangements to pick up his friend, he can't just decide not to do it now because it's a bit later than first thought, that would be a really shitty thing for a friend to do.

As for your kids, unless you are also out meaning they will be left alone I don't see what your DH being out has to do with it?! Surely it doesn't take both of you to settle the one that wakes?! confused How on earth do you cope if DH has an evening put with friends?! hmm

And you sound far too over invested in the friends financial situation! It makes you sound bitter and resentful, neither of which are attractive OP.

ScribblerOnTheRoof Wed 28-Oct-15 11:34:02

All depends really. I do not mind doing favours for friends. Unless its one of those friends who never repays the favour!

Your DH said yes already so petrol etc was never the issue. You are pissed because it is delayed an hour. There is a big difference between 10.30 and 11.30 though, he probably wouldn't get back until 1am.

Hey ho, you have already said yes.

What is your relationship like with these friends?

ScribblerOnTheRoof Wed 28-Oct-15 11:34:41

FWIW I do not think you are being massively unreasonable. You would be if you refused point blank to give a lift though

cece Wed 28-Oct-15 11:36:25

You sound tired.

Your DH is being kind and doing what friends do.

Crazypetlady Wed 28-Oct-15 11:37:41

YABU Delays happen.

Damselindestress Wed 28-Oct-15 11:38:05

Your DH agreed to pick the friend up, it's not the friend's fault the flight is delayed. It's a pain but these things happen. It's a one off so I would suck it up and just not agree to do it in future if it's such an issue. I don't think their finances really come into it because your DH had already agreed to do the pick up knowing they could afford a taxi, all that's changed is the time and that's out of their control.

tobysmum77 Wed 28-Oct-15 11:39:02

Its not the role of friends to be constantly on beck and call. That said its up to dh to either say yes or no.

LurkingOne Wed 28-Oct-15 11:41:38

It doesn't sound like "constantly at the beck and call" though, it's one favour!

tobysmum77 Wed 28-Oct-15 11:46:16

I agree lurking but some of the other posters as usual are from another universe. A friend imo would understand if you texted 'really sorry mate but I'm really, really knackered and have to get up early for work tomorrow' but it was dh's call.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter Wed 28-Oct-15 11:47:49

Presumably the unsettled sleeping child is relevant because the sound of her DH returning home is likely to wake him at 2am or whatever time...

Presumably the finances were referred to to indicate the friend can afford a taxi (driving to and from the airport and probably parking there are by no means free to the DH).

Assuming the trip is nothing to do with you I'd be hmm at being asked, in the context of the late night (even 10.30pm) arrival and the ability to afford a taxi. Its not as if he's coming to visit you. Presumably his wife could even have bundled their DC into the car and fetched him, if being fetched is important to him... your DH will be tired for work in the morning too.

On the other hand the onus was really on your DH to say no, sorry, in the first place.

DamnBamboo Wed 28-Oct-15 11:49:57

But he isn't knackered tobysmum
It's the OP that doesn't want him doing it because she feels resentful.
Clearly her DH doesn't mind.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 28-Oct-15 11:51:01

It's hardly the early hours of the morning is it? Not a lot to do for a friend.

"your DH will be tired for work in the morning too." Good grief. He might get in at midnight. Hardly the end of the world. Crikey!

tobysmum77 Wed 28-Oct-15 11:52:23

It would be for me, I don't deal with late nights. If that's what you expect from friends I'd be the wrong one for you!

SeveredHeadsDragOnTheFloor Wed 28-Oct-15 11:52:34

I agree lurking but some of the other posters as usual are from another universe. A friend imo would understand if you texted 'really sorry mate but I'm really, really knackered and have to get up early for work tomorrow' but it was dh's call.

And some posted seem to just make stuff up. Nowhere does it say the Dh is knackered and has to get up early for work.

DamnBamboo Wed 28-Oct-15 11:52:41

The airport is 10 miiles away.
Why would he be getting in at 2am?

TheTigerIsOut Wed 28-Oct-15 11:52:59

How petty... Of you.

What you earn or not doesn't matter, is not that he is dragging the poor children with him to pick up his friend, is it? Yes, he will be out one hour later than expected, can you survive?

Honestly, I always factor the cost of going to the airport when I budget for a holiday, I wouldn't dream of asking anyone but very close family to give me a lift to or from the airport, but I think your excuses to be annoyed are all wrong.

DamnBamboo Wed 28-Oct-15 11:53:41

Then say no tobysmum that is your prerogative!

The OPs DH said yes, that was his choice!

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter Wed 28-Oct-15 11:55:10

No - the flight is getting in at midnight, he won't be out of the airport til nearer 1am if he has hold luggage bitout - the DH drives him home and then home himself from the friend's house - he'll be home not long before 2am probably, airport pick ups always take ages. Most people get up for work around 6.30am - 7am, and presumably the whole reason the unsettled sleeping child has been mentioned is that he'll wake when Daddy comes in and take a while to be re-settled, so very likely nobody will be back to sleep til 3am...

tobysmum77 Wed 28-Oct-15 11:56:51

Which I agree with its dh's choice.

The text was just an example, and meant for the people who seem to think that 'friends' should be willing to do anything for a favour.

'its what friends do' er no not in my world. I'm happy to do favours if it suits me but friends are not a free taxi service.

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Oct-15 11:58:07

The text was just an example, and meant for the people who seem to think that 'friends' should be willing to do anything for a favour.

Who said friends should be will to do anything for a favour? confused

AtSea1979 Wed 28-Oct-15 11:58:31

Yes some people are odd about airports and seem to always want a lift there and back rather than get a taxi or pay for parking like the rest of us.

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