Ok I think I probably was. But I'm exhausted.
Dd2 has zero contact with her father (through a court order). She is 5. I don't have much in the way of support from family or friends. I love the bones of her but find her completely fucking exhausting. Because I'm all she has our relationship is very intense and I find it hard to cope with sometimes.
She can't bear it if I talk to other people, for example if I'm sitting talking to a friend she will physically stand in between us and block the conversation, having to tell me something super urgent about shopkins or something, that apparently can't wait. She does this whenever I try to talk to anyone. Same goes for conversations on the phone, she'll go from not wanting to speak to me to all of a sudden having 1001 urgent things to tell me.
Tonight's particular episode - we have been out all day together doing stuff, she's had my full attention. I start talking about bedtime and she tells me she wants to sleep in my bed. I told her no (because she is a complete pain in the arse to sleep next to), I'm tired and just want a night in my own bed without being kicked etc every thirty seconds. So she goes nuclear at this, which started the next power struggle of trying to get her up the stairs. I went upstairs and asked her to come up, after various threats etc she made it, but after cleaning her teeth she claimed to be incapable of walking the last 2 metres to her room. She wanted me to carry her and I said no because I had a bad back. Cue 5 minutes of her screaming at me, so I told her if she wasn't in her room by the time I counted to 3 she wasn't getting a story. She gave me a defiant look, I counted to three, then put her in bed and turned the light off and left her screaming. She's asleep now but I feel like a shitbag.
It's like this a lot of the time. Endless power games and her trying to dictate what happens. Probably quite normal 5 year old stuff but what's hard is the endlessness of it. She goes to school and I miss her, then I pick her up and within half an hour she's driving me nuts. I am studying so even when she's at school I don't get time to myself. I can't think about having a relationship, partly because I'm depressed and not in the right place, and partly because I hardly ever get any time away from her so it's not logistically possible. I've accepted that's just how it is but bloody hell its hard work doing this 365 days a year.
AIBU?
To have lost my shit with dd2?
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 25/10/2015 21:33
and 
time for you!
You didn't lose your shit with her, she pushed your buttons that's all. It's been a long day with that extra hour today hasn't it?
I can't read that you have done anything that I don't do all the time here wrong. You warned her and then carried it out. Doesn't make it any easier though 
No advice really, just to say that I have a 4yr old and she is very intense - I can't leave the room without her following me and it drives me nuts! I am married with a younger DD and I find it OTT at times, with family close and inlaws very keen to help out, so I'm impressed you're generally keeping your cool. 
Good luck, hope someone is along with better advice soon. You're not on your own
She wanted me to carry her and I said no because I had a bad back. Cue 5 minutes of her screaming at me, so I told her if she wasn't in her room by the time I counted to 3 she wasn't getting a story. She gave me a defiant look, I counted to three, then put her in bed and turned the light off and left her screaming.
You've done nothing wrong here. You were both exhausted. It probably couldn't have panned out any other way.
I am reading between the lines, here, but I get the impression you find it hard to be firm with her when she's interrupting or being otherwise difficult. So maybe you putting your foot down about her acting out at bedtime came as a shock to her because you feel guilty when you do put your foot down when she's being demanding, so you're not as consistent as you could be.
It's hard to get it perfectly right even when you're not alone and exhausted, btw
She wanted me to carry her and I said no because I had a bad back. Cue 5 minutes of her screaming at me, so I told her if she wasn't in her room by the time I counted to 3 she wasn't getting a story. She gave me a defiant look, I counted to three, then put her in bed and turned the light off and left her screaming.
You've done nothing wrong here. You were both exhausted. It probably couldn't have panned out any other way.
I am reading between the lines, here, but I get the impression you find it hard to be firm with her when she's interrupting or being otherwise difficult. So maybe you putting your foot down about her acting out at bedtime came as a shock to her because you feel guilty when you do put your foot down when she's being demanding, so you're not as consistent as you could be.
It's hard to get it perfectly right even when you're not alone and exhausted, btw
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I have a 3 yo dd who can be very similar to yours at times. It honestly sounds like you did nothing wrong. You gave her a consequence for her actions if she continued with her behaviour, and then followed through with it. I would and have done exactly the same and yes, sometimes it involves screaming and tantrums but at the same time they need to learn that there are consequences for their behaviour and that they simply cannot get what they want all the time. I know if my 3yo requested we carry her to bed one night (illness aside of course), then she no doubt would expect that sort of thing every night which would then result in another struggle in itself.
This parenting malarkey can be so hard at times, it's a very guilt-ridden journey I've found. I totally understand how you feel
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