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To seek some of your 'best advice'

(14 Posts)
vulgarbunting Sun 25-Oct-15 01:28:36

After reading the thread about best advice given, I am putting in a request for some of the good stuff for my current situation.

I've recently been told that I'm going to be made redundant. It's a bit more complex than that...but I feel out of control and like my life is falling apart. I cry every day, have no energy, and am just generally miserable.
I've come home tonight sobbing, feeling like I don't know what I am going to do.

I'm in the wonderful position that I am very employable, with interviews already set up, no dependants and a supportive DH. However the companies that I currently have interviews for have bad reputations for their culture, plus are an hour+ commute away.

The not knowing what my future will look like is tearing me apart. I feel like I have lost all resiliance. I am terrified about the unknown of the future.

I need phrases like 'this too will pass'. I need wise words. I need to be told that everything happens for a reason, and that all will be OK.


Onthepigsback Sun 25-Oct-15 01:31:39

You may be happier in your next role than your current one. Change means moving forwards.

SummerNights1986 Sun 25-Oct-15 01:37:52

I'm in the wonderful position that I am very employable, with interviews already set up, no dependants and a supportive DH


Keep reminding yourself of it, over and over. It feels shit now, but in 25 years this situation will be no more than a tiny blip on the radar and barely remembered. You had a job, you lost a job, you got another. And then maybe an even better one the year after that. And life went on.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief Sun 25-Oct-15 01:39:04

When one door closes, a new one opens

goddessofsmallthings Sun 25-Oct-15 01:05:17

I'd be crying too if the only companies that I currently have interviews for have bad reputations for their culture, plus are an hour+ commute away. sad

Will you be getting a generous redundancy package to soften the blow?

All of the old adages some to mind; nothing lasts forever, when one door closes another one opens, a change is as good a rest, every cloud has a silver lining etc, and there doesn't seem to be any reason why you shouldn't look on this development as the universe's way of giving you an opportunity to consider whether the career/working path you've been on is one that you want to stay on.

As you're 'very employable', I would expect there to be no shortage of employers with good reputations for their culture/conditions in the workplace who would welcome the opportunity to put your talents to good use. If I were you, I'd cancel the interviews with duff companies miles away and look closer to home and I'd also be looking to add to my skills, perhaps in a related or completely different field.

Don't allow this event to cause you to lose confidence in yourself. The future's always unknown - get used to it! - and it will be what you make it. Start thinking outside the box and start making it a good one for you and your dh.

AgentZigzag Sun 25-Oct-15 01:12:37

<hug> you're dealing with scary shit, it's totally understandable that you'll feel insecure about it.

Try to focus on the happier, employed in an amazing job, financially secure you that you'll be two months in the future flowers

Everything will be fine, honest.

MiscellaneousAssortment Sun 25-Oct-15 01:22:33

You feel rubbish as you're in transition - think of it as you feeling the right thing at the right moment, yay, your brain is doing the right thing smile

You're in a kind of weird free fall limbo land... You've set off from where you were, departed mentally and emotionally if not physically. Here are the mixed inagery, but jumbled up is probably quite fitting for this moment smile

You've raised the anchor, pulled up the gang plank, waved goodbye to the people on the shore. You're on a boat, pulling out of harbour, got no feet on dry land and no way back. You'll land but not on those shores again, maybe you can visit, but you'll never call that place home again. So, you set off, cast off, whatever! But what you do know is that you've gone, irrevocably and without a way to return.

But unlike other journeys, you don't have charts, mapless and no idea what the future has in store. So no vision to move towards, no dreams to start dreaming, no way to plan for what's happening next... Just blankness... And waiting.

So, yes, how do you feel on this water craft? Full of possibilities but no actualities, full of hazy future and the background receding into the distance behind you. Loads of questions, no answers... Just the bright blue sky and the horizon a line hovering between blue of ocean and blue of air.

So, you might feel rudderless, Maybe you feel like you haven't even got an oar (or a captains wheel depending on the type of water vessel you're visualizing!) ... But let's just step back here. Cos this bit, it's just your brain hating the uncertainty, you actually have loads of navigation tools and ways to shape where you land. You have to remind yourself and get some confidence back. You have skills, a profession, experience, cv, recruitment agencies, companies etc etc etc.

It's uncomfortable having to rely on your skills to cross the sea when you were happy as a settler on land, but now, you're a nomad, an explorer and a pioneers, you're free and free is scary. But you'll be ok, you know you'll get another job but right now, you just don't know exactly where you'll land yet.

Embrace the vertigo, the freedom and the possibilities. Be a nomad just for a while, before you put down roots and settle into a new work environment.


MiscellaneousAssortment Sun 25-Oct-15 01:33:52

Or if boats aren't your thing, perhaps you'd prefer the idea of Alice down the rabbit hole... She doesn't look comfortably snuggled in a nice safe routine does she? But if she didn't fall, she wouldn't land in a land where she has marvelous adventures...

AgentZigzag Sun 25-Oct-15 01:43:51

(aside from slight seasickness lol) I feel better for reading your post as it could apply to my situation too Misc, thanks smile (esp the 2nd to last para)

Senpai Sun 25-Oct-15 01:58:20

Sometimes doors close so other ones can open.

I'd be crying too if I was being made redundant.

I had to leave my job, but then because of where life circumstances landed us, we were able to have a baby without stressing about it. Now I work from home, and learned a new hobby which is something I never thought I'd be doing and enjoying. This wouldn't be possible if I was still focused on my career hardcore like I was. though I'll be trying to jump back on the boat very soon

Maybe it'll help to think of tasks instead of the big picture. Get your CV in order, make sure you're up to date on all software, research other companies, possible flat prices (if moving can be an option, if not entertain it as a distraction of what if), work on making good personalized applications, get office mate's contact info so you have a network.

EnglishWeddingGuest Sun 25-Oct-15 03:03:33

To borrow from Mr Frost:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

happyclapper Sun 25-Oct-15 08:19:27

I am in a similar situation with a few added twists.
Having been very successful in my previous job which was my first after an 8 yr break with DS's I was headhunted for a similar role but in a sector that I had always wanted to work in. So, despite only just having gained a promotion I decided to take the lunge as positions in this particular field don't come up that often.
That was 6 weeks ago and I absolutely love my new job ......until along with my whole team I got made redundant 1 week ago.
I then had a minor car accident, the washing machines broke, our living room lights have stopped working and I've been recalled for further investigations as something has been found on a routine mammogram.
The only way I can cope is to block it all out.....

Skiptonlass Sun 25-Oct-15 08:29:20

Best advice I've ever had?

Be kind to yourself


This too shall pass.

LurcioAgain Sun 25-Oct-15 08:53:34

flowers I've been where you are OP and it sucks.

What I found worked for me was making sure I had a production line of job applications going, so that when a rejection letter came in I had other applications in progress to focus on.

I also concentrated on keeping the rest of life sane and supportive. For me, this involved cooking decent meals for myself (I was able to use cooking as a relaxation strategy - mind you I was single and had no children back then - would be a whole different ball game now). And Imade ssure I saw lots of my friends.

In the end I had to retrain, but I'm actually much happier doing what I do now.

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