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WIBU to still send DD to PILs?

(89 Posts)
NotAnotherMonday Sat 24-Oct-15 14:01:32

Today I had to have my Flu Jab. Dp was supposed to not be working so the plan was DD (4months) would go to PILs for the day, I'd have my jab then we'd have a few hours shopping or just chill at home watching a film. On Wednesday, Dp got asked if he could work 10-6pm today, and he said yes. Obviously I still needed someone to have DD while I went to have my Flu Jab so asked PILs if they could still have her for half an hour while I had my jab.

They text me after I'd left the doctors to say theyd taken DD to MILs parents so theyd drop her back off with me when they were done.

I will say PILs are in their mid-late 40s so more than capable of looking after a baby for a few hours. I posted on Facebook that id had a nice quiet morning while DD was having fun at her grandparents and dp was at work.

She was dropped off tired, but happy, having had a clean nappy and a feed at about 12.30.

I then got several messages off people saying I was selfish to leave DD with PILs while I had "a break" when Dp wasnt there. People have called me a bad mother as apparently I'm his childcare while he works.

So WIBU to let her go anyway? Or should I have tried to take her with me to the doctors?

TheAuthoress Sat 24-Oct-15 14:05:01

The people who said you are selfish are idiots. You were happy, Pils were happy and DD was happy - Yanbu grin

BowiesJumper Sat 24-Oct-15 14:06:31

Messages from WHO??
Fuck em, they're talking shit and you know it.

DisappointedOne Sat 24-Oct-15 14:06:50

I'm not sure why you couldn't take the baby with you for the jab.

WorraLiberty Sat 24-Oct-15 14:07:51

Are you absolutely sure about this??

Several messages from people saying you were selfish and a bad mother?

I'm not sure whether to use a hmm face or a confused face here...

NotAnotherMonday Sat 24-Oct-15 14:09:47

Disappointed one the nurses do the jabs and they have a tiny office with just a chair and theres hardly room for that, I'd have had to have DD on my knee while they did the jab and it would have been practical

NotAnotherMonday Sat 24-Oct-15 14:10:28

*wouldn't damn phone

pigsDOfly Sat 24-Oct-15 14:11:01

What the hell?

Who are these people on Facebook? Not friends, I hope.

Please ignore them, they're idiots. Of course you're not a bad mother for letting your PIL look after your baby for a few hours, whether you DP is there or not.

Wonderful that you have someone who can give you a bit of a break. Make the most of it. I bet they all had a lovely time.

Just a bit of advice: don't listen to what people on Facebook post, it's notorious for people posting bitchy comments.

TurnOffTheTv Sat 24-Oct-15 14:11:37

Obviously I still needed someone to have DD while I went to have my Flu Jab

How come?

SparklyLeprechaun Sat 24-Oct-15 14:11:53

Eh? Of course yanbu. Sure you can take a baby with you when you go to the doctors, but what's that got to do with anything? So the child has spent some time with her GPs, wow crime of the century they should call SS on you.

Finola1step Sat 24-Oct-15 14:11:59

Make a note of the people who have posted such ridiculous comments. If you can block them, go right ahead. If you can't, keep at arms length from now on.

Do not respond. Keep a dignified silence. You can not reason with the unreasonable.

I will add one last thing. What a lovely morning your DD has had. To spend some quality time with her grandparents and visit her great grand parents. I bet your PILs were beaming.

pudcat Sat 24-Oct-15 14:12:28

How ridiculous. Sounds like everyone had a great time. Take no notice of others. Do what suits your family best. I loved having my grandchildren when they were babies.

LilaTheTiger Sat 24-Oct-15 14:12:53

They sound completely mad.

Unfriend them. They already aren't your friends, the stupid nutters.

TurnOffTheTv Sat 24-Oct-15 14:13:20

Tiny office with a chair? Goodness I wonder how they do smears/blood tests/jabs/etc for people with no childcare?

TurnOffTheTv Sat 24-Oct-15 14:14:12

Oh, and you have some knobhead friends on Facebook grin

Flossieflower01 Sat 24-Oct-15 14:15:29

Don't understand why you couldn't take the baby to the flu jab?

WorraLiberty Sat 24-Oct-15 14:15:59

To the people questioning why the OP needed childcare.

My GP's surgery don't allow prams/buggies inside. They have to be left outside in the lobby, therefore the baby would have to be taken inside.

But either way I don't see why it matters.

"Grandparents babysit grandchild" is hardly a headline shocker, which is why I don't understand who these facebook people are, or what they're up to.

NotAnotherMonday Sat 24-Oct-15 14:17:00

TurnofftheTV they're partnered with another surgery in the next town and people can choose to go there where the rooms are bigger if they want.

LotsOfShoes Sat 24-Oct-15 14:18:11

Yabu for having those people as facebook friends.
I spent every summer, every year, at my grandparents' house i.e. being looked after by people other than my mum. My parents must be monsters hmm

TurnOffTheTv Sat 24-Oct-15 14:18:14

Blimey worra who looks after babies if parents need examining?

mummytime Sat 24-Oct-15 14:18:38

I'd make a list of "the many people" and decide they were either bitter, jealous or just people I didn't want to spend much time with.
You were happy. PIL were happy (and offered). And DD was happy.
Of course as a mother you are entitled to time for yourself, and it will make you a better mother.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 24-Oct-15 14:19:43

why should she take baby to flu jab, gosh since when was actually wanting to do things without your baby a crime confused hardly like leaving baby home alone to do stuff is it, grandparents might <shock horror> love the chance to have baby on their own.

Friendlystories Sat 24-Oct-15 14:20:04

You wouldn't have BU even if you'd been doing absolutely nothing this morning, you are entitled to a break you know! Who on earth were the people who commented and what difference does it make whether DP was home or not? Baby was safe and happy with PIL's and it's no one else's business what you do, frankly I would tell whoever commented to butt out and question whether I wanted judgemental idiots like that in my life angry

WorraLiberty Sat 24-Oct-15 14:20:37

I've no idea TurnOff but some surgeries are tiny, so people have to manage somehow I suppose.

Perhaps a baby sling would work for a flu jab.

Not so much for a smear test grin

mummytime Sat 24-Oct-15 14:21:32

If I needed a smear or something either DH worked from home or took holiday or we got someone else to babysit (and not even Grandparents). That is normal - not having even a friend who will look after your little one for 1/2 hour or so, is not normal.

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