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(16 Posts)
Nmay94 Thu 22-Oct-15 13:35:40

Hi All, I'm new to this, so here goes, hope someone out there can help or advise.
When my son was 10/11 he went to stay with his father, he had to share a room with his stepbrother, who was slightly younger, from what I can remember they saw some stuff on the computer and touched each other in the bedroom later, the step son told his sister what had happend, she then told her mother, both boys were told off , and that was that. My son is nearly 18 now, and as fallen out with his father and his wife, the wife is now saying he is a pervert and molests young children because of what happend years ago, she is putting it on Facebook, sending emails to family,and as now got her daughter saying the same. I really don't know how my son stands legally, could he get into trouble because he was older? Has he got rights. Nothing really bad happend, but this women as had her own husband arrested before saying he had abused her children. My son did continue to visit and stay over until about 12 months ago.
Please any advise would be much appreciated.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Thu 22-Oct-15 13:38:13

Screen shot all of the comments/print emails and go to the police.

No shit. No messing. No squabbles.

Take the high road and let the police deal with it.

(Maybe post in legal too.)

badtime Thu 22-Oct-15 13:40:33

I think it partly depends of what you mean by 'slightly younger'. How much younger?

badtime Thu 22-Oct-15 13:40:53


MaidOfStars Thu 22-Oct-15 13:43:56

I really don't know how my son stands legally, could he get into trouble because he was older?

I very much doubt that the police would be too interested in a 10 year old and a what? 8 year old? messing around in that way. I suspect this would filed under "normal exploratory behaviour" (or whatever). That's assuming that neither party forced it in any way. Does your son have a clear memory of what happened?

With that in mind (and if someone comes along to contradict me, I'm happy to be corrected), I'd be tempted to take the initiative here and involve the police yourself. Start snapshotting screens, keeping email records etc. It sounds like she's harrassing you, at minimum.

MaidOfStars Thu 22-Oct-15 13:45:09

And where is the stepbrother now - is he involved?

Nmay94 Thu 22-Oct-15 13:50:13

The other boy was about 8/9, I did mention to my son about the police ,but he said as teenagers do, it's embarrassing, because they would want to interview him. I just worry that he would end up with a police record, she's very good at lies, she rang my partners works last year saying she was his G.P. We had to get the police then too.

Nmay94 Thu 22-Oct-15 13:51:20

He isn't interested, but the mother is very persuasive.

MaidOfStars Thu 22-Oct-15 14:24:49

I think your son needs to be more realistic about the potential danger from this.

'Throw enough shit and some of it sticks' is unfortunately somewhat true.

OK, it's embarrassing, but I bet it's fairly common and nothing the police won't be sensitive about.

Can he write a written statement in advance? That might help the police understand what happened and how things could move forward.

He needs to protect himself.

Cel982 Thu 22-Oct-15 14:35:47

I think it's very unlikely there could be any kind of legal case against your son; it was 7 years ago, they were close in age and, unless there are other details you've left out, nothing to really suggest abuse.

However, as Maid says, these accusations could be very damaging to your son's reputation, so I would really encourage him to co-operate with you in making a complaint. Take screenshots of everything, save any voicemails, get any reports of previous incidents (esp if police were involved). Then make a formal complaint of harassment:

GloGirl Thu 22-Oct-15 14:43:16

I think the best fotm of defence about this is to go to the police. How many years apart are there? Does the step son have special needs?

Could you contact NSPCC anonymously for advice?

Onthepigsback Thu 22-Oct-15 14:43:42

You say he stayed there up to a yr ago. Are you certain there have been no incidents since or why are his father and sm bringing this up now? What happened when he was 11 doesn't sound like an issue but if things happened after he was told off, that is different. Have you confronted your ex and asked why he and sm are focusing on this now. Are you sure there isn't more to it?

amarmai Thu 22-Oct-15 15:04:24

first get legal advice.

Nmay94 Thu 22-Oct-15 17:57:43

Thanks all for your advice and understanding, nothing as happend since, and iv emailed my ex about it, but not had any response, he's not allowed to have contact with me or his own family.

Rainbunny Thu 22-Oct-15 18:18:24

I would definitely go to the police, this woman sounds evil and I would be concerned what she would do next? She rang your partner's office pretending to be his GP? What was that about, and yes she sounds pretty unhinged which to me is dangerous.

As for the long ago incident, they accessed images on the computer at your ex's house - I'd say that makes them responsible for what the boys could see.

Nmay94 Fri 23-Oct-15 20:27:08

Thanks everyone xxx

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