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People who lack self-awareness

(7 Posts)
LaChicaRubia Wed 21-Oct-15 23:55:38

Fell out of touch with someone who used to be a very close friend. We used to be in contact most days, then I just stopped messaging and they did not ever message me, fine (long build-up of issues: mainly they were quick to tell me if they thought I wasn't living up to their "friendship demands" but not able to see the problem if they were rude to me, which did happen, pretty frequently). Fwiw when I confronted them about being unkind, their excuse was that everyone did it but they were sorry confused and then when I responded that I tried not to treat people like that, they huffily apologised for "not being as perfect as me" hmm

So. I later decided to see if we could bring about a "thaw" in relations for sake of wider group. It's always good when we're all together, it's only me this person behaves strangely with (we were closer which may explain it).

"Friend" then told me how I had hurt them by "not being there for them enough" (not trye!) and was very me-me-me about it all. They seemed shocked when I said that id been finding their behaviour hard to deal with and says how they hoped we could get back what we had...

Anyway a few weeks later, I haven't contacted them and they haven't contacted me.

This is fine obviously for the reasons I outlined but wtf?! Why launch at someone telling them all their faults then in the same breath announce you hope to still be "best friends", then not instigate a conversation?! I know it takes two but what were they actually hooing for? Me to message admitting all responsibility for being a "shitty friend" and begging forgiveness??

Sorry. This was meant to be a generic rant re similar personalities! But yes, whilst I think they abu, wtf is going on? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

KatieLatie Thu 22-Oct-15 00:21:11

If you like them and want to still be friends, draw a line under who did what etc etc and text/phone suggesting meeting up (coffee/drinks/cinema/whatever). It seems as though resentment/blame or "who should instigate" is lingering on (on your side?). Time to move on. One way or another.

LaChicaRubia Thu 22-Oct-15 00:25:04

Thanks Katie smile

Yes v true. I kind of don't like them though blush They were really awful to me and I just don't feel happy really to have them back in my life right now.

But thanks

Fatmomma99 Thu 22-Oct-15 00:27:00

Then sounds like you need to (and want to) move on.

Mmmmcake123 Thu 22-Oct-15 00:28:13

By the sound of it you both have had a misinterpretation of what you expect via text.
If you don't like her and never want to have contact again then witwoo
If you would prefer to maintain contact and just haven't got a clue why it had all go so wrong, ring or text a pleasant msg suggesting you meet. Make it clear you don't know why things have gone awry. Good luck

LaChicaRubia Thu 22-Oct-15 00:54:24

Thank you.

It's a really strange one, we used to have a good relationship (she can be good fun etc etc), then as we got closer she started treated me like her whipping boy when she was moody basically confused

I miss what we had but for a good couple of years (her mood became worse the closer we became as friends) she has on/off treated me badly withoit much of an apology.

So for me recent events were the final straw.

The last time we met up, she launched into me while I held back as I knew whatever I said would only add fuel to the fire..

Would you lot message if you were in my position? I just don't know...

VocationalGoat Thu 22-Oct-15 01:00:52

Nope. You're flogging a dead horse. For the crumbs of fun you're getting out of this friendship, it sure isn't worth being made to feel guilty for the majority of the time for never meeting your friend's expectations. Stop being the audience for her drama. Move on.

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