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Aibu to think I am allowed to be nervous about induction?

(21 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Wed 21-Oct-15 16:17:13

I am due to be induced on Friday with dc6. i am feeling excited but totally terrified (I already take medication for anxiety but to be fair only one or two people know this). Anytime I mention any trace of nerves or wanting to just make sure things are ready people just brush it under the carpet and say things like "you should be pro!".

It's like they think that just because I have been here a few times before I have no right to even the tiniest bit of compassion!. My grandmother was a perfect example today she called to say she would give me £20 to get the baby something which was lovely but then she followed it up with "I won't transfer it until after in case this one doesn't make it". I mean wtf?shock who says that?

I am not expecting people to run about ringing their hands with me but just some showing a tiny bit of understanding would be nice.

Aibu because I don't even know anymore!

orangepudding Wed 21-Oct-15 16:20:41


Good luck with the induction.

ohmyeyebettymartin Wed 21-Oct-15 16:21:06

shock at your GM!!!

Just shock
We women are expected to just suck it up when it comes to childbirth. Imagine you were getting, I don't know, a tooth extracted, or a filling. Nobody would say "oh come on, you've done it before!"

I hope it all goes well.

Justmyluck1 Wed 21-Oct-15 16:24:53

Bloody hell op your gran sounds a nasty cow.

Of course you can feel whatever you feel.

It doesn't matter a toss how many times you give birth anyway as all are different and it's a bloody huge thing for any woman to do.

Where are your mates?

Ginandcolic Wed 21-Oct-15 16:28:22


Your GM, however, should be sat down and given a good talking to! Also, why do people think that being dismissive of someone's concerns is reassuring? It's not, it's rude, unkind and massively unhelpful.

Good luck with the induction and I hope you will be snuggling your new LO very soon.


PS I was induced 3.5yrs ago with DD and I was constantly on MN throughout asking for advice, reassurance etc. It really helped. There is lots of hand holding, company and support here if you need it xxx

SchoolSnitch Wed 21-Oct-15 16:29:24

I think its perfectly reasonable to be nervous about birth - whether its your 1st or 10th, whether its induction, natural or C-section. every birth is different - even if you go into natural labour each time they are not all going to be the same!

I've been through induction and it is totally understandable to be worried (I'd had a previous straightforward natural delivery) there are so many variables.

however, possibly (with the exception of your GM!!) people are trying to be reassuring and its just coming over wrong? as in 'you're such a pro so it will all be fine'. perhaps not always trying to belittle your feelings as much as trying to be positive for you?

MissMarpleCat Wed 21-Oct-15 16:30:32

Bloody hell your gms comment has left me shockshockshock.
Who the hell in their right mind says that to a woman about to give birth?
Giving birth is bloody scary, no matter how many times you've done it. Your feelings are completely valid. Yanbu. Good luck flowers

Sothisishowitfeels Wed 21-Oct-15 16:32:26

Thanks smile my grandmother can be blunt but tbh she's not normally nasty so I have no idea what possessed her to say that!

Justmy- I have lots of people who I would class as being friends BUT we moved here s couple of years ago and tbh none of them are yet very close friends so I tend to avoid talking about things which make me anxious etc.

Forestdreams Wed 21-Oct-15 16:33:40

YANBU. I bet people are just trying to help you feel confident and they mean well. But of course you are allowed to feel however you feel. Except for granny - as you say, who does that?!

Chillyegg Wed 21-Oct-15 16:34:12

Wow your GM sounds terrible!

Congratulations and good luck!

AnUtterIdiot Wed 21-Oct-15 16:35:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iammad Wed 21-Oct-15 17:43:11

Hope it goes well on Friday, I'm 27 weeks with 6th baby.
And have had 4 inductions and each one was very different.
I'm likely to be induced again, and I will be nervous,scared no doubt.

Fourarmsv2 Wed 21-Oct-15 21:44:41

She probably was thinking about not tempting fate, but didn't think about her words before she spoke.

I nearly refused an induction in favour of going straight to c/s if the natural birth didn't go to plan because I was scared so you have every right to be.

Best wishes smile

BeanGirls Wed 21-Oct-15 21:55:33

Ah that's awful! Of course your 6th dc is just as important as your 1st. Wishing you all the best, I'm sure it will all be fine, don't worry.

DrCoconut Wed 21-Oct-15 23:47:49

May not be much comfort but I was induced 3 weeks ago, DC3. It was the easiest birth of the 3 by far. So it needn't be a horror story. I had people sharing their stories about things going wrong too, what is that all about? Hope you are ok.

Justmyluck1 Wed 21-Oct-15 23:52:48

Keep posting anyway op as it's incredibly helpful to get support here and you can let off steam too. grin

StrictlyMumDancing Thu 22-Oct-15 00:05:35

Wow - your gran sounds lovely

I don't care if this is your first or your 27th. You're totally allowed to be nervous about birth in general.

LittleLionMansMummy Thu 22-Oct-15 08:46:18

The difference with induction is that you know exactly when it will happen, which makes your nervousness entirely understandable. It's very different when you don't know when it will happen - you just sort of have to forget about it until you go into labour or you'd potentially spend weeks being nervous. Having a 'deadline' is entirely different.

Good luck op. Yanbu and I hope it'll be your easiest delivery! smile

Sothisishowitfeels Thu 22-Oct-15 09:01:23

Thanks everyone! I have been induced for three of my others and had great experiences (apart from the boredom!) so I have no idea why I am so nervous this time !

Damselindestress Thu 22-Oct-15 10:08:18

Of course you are allowed to be nervous! People probably mean to be reassuring by pointing out that you have experience but it's not very helpful when you just want them to show some sympathy! Your GM's comment sounds shocking but I know that older people are sometimes superstitious about not giving gifts for the baby too early in case it's 'bad luck' going back to the days when there were more pregnancy complications and probably less understanding of what caused them. If she's not normally nasty maybe that's what she meant to say and she put her foot in it? Last thing you need at the moment though! Thinking of you, I hope it all goes well.

waxweasel Thu 22-Oct-15 10:35:46

Grandmas say nuts things. My own GM called me just after my 20 week scan, I told her it was a girl, and she proceeded to go into great detail about the horrendous MC she had just after 20 weeks and how it too might have been a girl. WTF?! I'm obviously very sorry for her, but who the hell does that? Still nowhere near as bad as your GM though!
Good luck with your induction - do you know if it's a boy or a girl? Are your others excited?

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