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AIBU?

WIBU to get a cat?

19 replies

ShamelessBreadAddict · 21/10/2015 08:46

My DH and I are thinking about getting a cat. We have one DC who is 10mo. AWBU? Would like it to be a rescue cat or kitten. DH has had them in the past and claims he could choose a calm one... I have never had a cat. Concerned it will be terrified of DC and that DC will torment it or else that it will attack DC. Totally clueless about cats so forgive me if I have said anything ignorant.

OP posts:

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maybebabybee · 21/10/2015 08:51

Massively depends on the cat. You may find a rescue one used to be being around children but would need to hunt as a lot can be quite nervy (understandably).

A rescue kitten you could go for of course but bear in mind that kittens are scratchy and playful. All kittens. I think I can safely speak on behalf of all cat owners when I tell you there is no such thing as a 'calm' kitten. My two girls are lovely, gentle and cuddly, and they were when they were kittens too but they still enjoyed bouncing off the walls and grabbing at feet/hands/hair. They're babies.

Most cats who aren't fussed about kids will just ignore them/keep out of their way. This can be hard for kids who want to pick them up and carry them round/cuddle them etc - it would be up to you to explain to your DC that the cat is not a toy etc etc, but 10 months is probably too young to understand this.

So no, my answer is you would not necessarily BU to get a cat but you need to be realistic about the possibility of getting a calm one - you certainly won't get a calm kitten!

MaidOfStars · 21/10/2015 08:51

Do you live next door to me?

Yes --> YABU.
No --> YANBU.

My friends have had cats with their babies. Usual level of tail pulling resulting in the odd scratch but nothing that doesn't teach them how to handle animals properly.

maybebabybee · 21/10/2015 08:53

Oh I also agree that getting a swipe teaches kids to have proper boundaries with animals and doesn't do any harm (I speak from experience) but obviously it's not very nice on the poor cat to have their tail pulled.

NoodleNuts · 21/10/2015 08:55

Kittens are definitely not calm They will climb your curtains, get into every tiny space you have in the house and generally run riot. I wouldn't have thought one would attack your DC although I would try and stop DC tormenting it else he they may get clawed or scratched, kids can be rough with animals sometimes.

The cat I've currently got was the first I've ever owned and when I chose him I thought I had picked the quietest one. He wasn't quiet or calm as a kitten but has finally calmed down now (he's 12 and a half!).

I wouldn't be without him though and will get another at some point and would go for it if I was in your shoes.

AGrinWithoutACat · 21/10/2015 08:55

If you have the space for it yes, we have 2 cats, a middle aged lady and a 6 month kitten, DD2 is 9 months and fascinated by them.

I control her interactions and hold her hand to let her stroke them but the kitten will often bat back at her, normally pad only but he is still learning and sometimes she gets a minor scratch when I don't move fast enough. DD is never bothered by this but it is something to be aware of with a young kitten

Do make sure that the cat has somewhere to escape to away from your DC and that you teach DC how to be gentle, what touches the cat likes and doesn't like and not to bother it when it feeding.

Def not unreasonable to get a cat as DC will grow up knowing how to take care of and love animals

MrsSparkles · 21/10/2015 09:05

We got 2 cats about a year ago as 8 week old kittens. I have to say they've never scratched, bitten anything like that. RSPCA advised we should go for hand reared which was the best advice we've ever been given.

They've always been fine with DD (who was a bit older at 3), and now spend a lot of time curled up on her.

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/10/2015 09:07

We got a kitten 2 weeks before I gave birth to DD, then another one when she was 2.5. We also have another older cat. I think so far we've had maybe 2 scratches - they learn fast! Our cats are also massive (maine coons) but very docile and were very good at just wandering away from her.

If you can, I'd try to provide a few good high perches for the cat - we have a tall wall mounted scratchpost from petfun and a couple of wall mounted hammocks which they can escape to if they want peace.

She's now 5, and I think she's got so much out of growing up with animals - now she's that bit older she loves feeding them and has a really strong bond with all of them.

maybebabybee · 21/10/2015 09:08

I should point out that I love when my cats have a little chew on my hands....it doesn't hurt.

ShamelessBreadAddict · 21/10/2015 09:27

Thanks all - great advice. We have a fair amount of space indoors and outdoors. We are in a house in a cul-de-sac with a garden and a playing field at the back. Maybe will go for an older cat which might be used to kids if we can find one. Yep, DC would learn quickly after a swipe I imagine!

I had big dogs growing up and was used to them. Never, ever was bitten or even growled at as I remember as I knew not to paw at them. Hope this will teach DC how to behave round animals too.

OP posts:

ShamelessBreadAddict · 21/10/2015 09:39

Sorry just to add - they were obviously well-trained m, well looked after dogs and we were never left alone with them as children.

OP posts:

Fratelli · 21/10/2015 11:06

Would just like to give my opinion, we don't have a cat but there's one who comes in a few times a week kind of like a second home for him. I find it a lot more tiring when he's in, constantly having to watch them both etc. Always making sure the door to the stairs is shut so the cat can't get upstairs, taking the baby in the kitchen with me even just to get a drink just in case.

The cat has never attacked anyone to our knowledge but can scratch when playing like any cat. I think you never truly know an animal. We had a dog who never bit anyone, then when she was 14 she randomly bit my sister on the chin. You can never trust an animal 100% imho. Another thing to remember is cats go to warm places and there have been cases of cats suffocating infants in their cots.

There's just so much to think about!

MummaGiles · 21/10/2015 11:15

We have 2 cats (4.5 years old) with a 9 month DS. He loves them, they are a bit more wary of him, but we've not had any problems. Any rescue centre will only house a cat with you if they are confident the cat will be happy with your DC. I'd go and talk to some rehoming centres.

Katarzyna79 · 21/10/2015 11:21

having a cat with your child wont be a problem, it's more likely your child will terrorise the cat. My 2 year old used to think it was funny to pull the cats tail, she is lucky the cat never nipped her, it was 6 months old when we got it.

kittens are very playful and will scratch without meaning to.

I'd be more concerned about other things like the time and costs and vet fees of looking after a cat well, also any behavioural issues that could prop up. Many people told me it was cheap as chips I didn't find that to be the case. Our cat had urinating problems, which can be kidney related in cats, but after all the expensive tests it was a behavioural issue. Vets said sadly it is very common and to try xyz changes in the home, which we did nothing worked. Despite that I kept her for another year just hoping things would change. It didn't I had to rehome her, she was peeing around the house,when Iwas getting the kids dinner fixed or getting their breakfast it became too much for me to cope with.

lets rule out the urinating issue for you for now, but who will clean the cat tray. I did mine daily sometimes twice a day because I have small children. Got into arguments with husband because he refused to help, hed be watching a programme id be cleaning cat tray straight after having put the kids to bed.

Then I had to play witht he cat, I had a breed which required lots of attention. So she had lots of toys she could spend hrs running up and down the stair like a dog to fetch the ball. Fun times not so fun when you're tired lol

Then the grooming.

I do miss her I would advise getting a cat if you have the time and money to do it otherwise leave off till the children are older. I am jealous of people who manage to do it but my hands are full. I'm happy with my Oranda goldfish, but I have had my eye on rabbits, husband is at his wits end lol

Onthepigsback · 21/10/2015 11:56

Cats are so hit and miss! They can be such assholes. But I got a kitten with 2mth old and 20mth old in the house last year and I can honestly say she has never ever left even the tiniest scratch on any of us. A total squigy doll of a cat who puts up with too much. My youngest us now 13mts and adores her, uses her

givemushypeasachance · 21/10/2015 12:37

If you go to a rescue centre and speak to them, you may find that they have some slightly older cats who've previously lived in a house with kids so are known to be "childproof" in a not bothered/not aggressive way. Kittens are a bit more of an unknown since they haven't fully developed their personalities yet, but with a young adult cat the rescue staff will know if they're quite chilled or skittish, love cuddles or are quite independent.

Onthepigsback · 21/10/2015 12:40

....as a pillow. She us half a breed that is known to be docile, family cat so I did pay for her rather than rescue but seeing what a lovely placid cat she is now, she is worth 3 times the cost just to have such a good natured one. My parents cat is a nasty piece of work.

Nataleejah · 21/10/2015 14:17

Cats are good!

ValancyJane · 21/10/2015 15:23

Our cat came from a loud, boisterous family home when we got him as a kitten last year, so was used to children. He has been great when he's been around my friends children, my friends toddler pulled his tail and in the split second before we could intervene the cat just flattened his ears and looked at me with an expression of 'help'!!

We're expecting our first child in January and someone told us to have lots of high spaces or places the cat can get away if he wants to, which I thought was good advice!

Crazypetlady · 21/10/2015 17:46

My cats are all rescues two of them were abandoned outside as kittens. They are lovely to my baby and we haven't had a problem.

Ds is starting weaning in a few weeks and the only problem with my cats is because of being rescues or just because they are arseholes they swarm me for food and try and get it out of my hand. They are nicer to ds than they are to me but I will seperate them for meal times anyway.

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