This is a delicate situation. Jane is a single woman in her sixties, has 2 adult children in their thirties. Their 'father' disappeared when they were children. DD is married with her own children, lives in a rented home and they struggles financially. DS has a physical disability, some mental health needs and has never been well enough to move out from family home. He works part-time and relies a lot on Jane for practical needs which she is willing and able to provide. Neither DD nor DS have ever expected money from their mother, nor asked. They are not that way inclined. They are a close knit family and not money focused in general.
Jane does not have much in cash but she owns a small property (where she lives with DS), worth around £200k. She is a very fair and equal woman, never wanting to treat her children differently. As she's getting older, she wants to write a will, ensuring that her DS will always be assured lifetime tenancy.
DD has hit the roof. Jane thinks it's because this might be the DD's only chance of buying a property. However, the DD denies this, stating that the only issue is that she's offended at Jane's she would not support her brother. "You think so little of me that I'd throw DS onto the streets?!" DD also thinks that they should be treated equally, as they always have been. DS doesn't have an opinion. He has hopes that he will recover and be fully functioning. Jane knows this is not realistic and worries about DS more than DD. His physical illness is progressive.
Who, if anyone, is being unreasonable? I am not any of the people in the scenario but related to them all. I have no financial interest either way!
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AIBU?
To think equality is not treating people the same?
16 replies
saucony · 19/10/2015 21:56
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