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AIBU to stop giving these children Xmas presents?

(7 Posts)
fieryfighter Mon 19-Oct-15 13:51:38

ExH and I split up nearly ten years ago and since then over the years he has fallen out with most of his family and they have nothing to do with each other. A few years back one of his siblings asked if they could give my children's Xmas presents to me rather than ExH as they don't speak and in the past he'd not really acknowledged the presents.

So for the past few years two of his siblings give the presents to me and I've bought presents back for their children in return as I felt I had to. I might be being unreasonable but I feel it's my ExH's responsibility to buy the presents for his family not mine. I'm a single mum with very little money and its a massive strain to buy presents for four extra kids.

ExH definitely would not pay towards the presents I buy for his family btw. I don't have anything to do with his family other than the Xmas gift exchange and I'm wondering if IBU to say nicely to them that either could they give the presents to ExH or as I'm struggling maybe we could stop exchanging gifts? All of the respective children get loads of stuff for Christmas as it is.

I haven't bought massive gifts for them in the past but it all mounts up so much and I literally hand to budget to the 'nth' degree to get through Xmas.

Your opinions/suggestions would be very welcome

Vernonon Mon 19-Oct-15 13:54:16

I think I'd email or text and ask if they mind not doing gifts this year as you are strapped for cash. They can then decide whether to give your dc gifts anyway (I would) or not.

ImperialBlether Mon 19-Oct-15 13:55:02

Of course you're not unreasonable. I would just say that things are a bit tight now and that you're having to make cut backs on presents. They will probably be relieved themselves. I wouldn't suggest they give them to your ex as he clearly won't reciprocate.

maslinpan Mon 19-Oct-15 13:55:12

No you are not BU. If you explain that your financial situation is tight I am sure they will understand, I would write a nice note before present-buying gets underway and then stop thinking about it. Xmas should be be enjoyable and not tied up with all sorts of feelings of obligation, in an ideal world!

Arfarfanarf Mon 19-Oct-15 13:56:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crazypetlady Mon 19-Oct-15 13:56:39

I would either just email and be straight or agree a price limit that's what my family do so for example five pound limit per child .

fieryfighter Mon 19-Oct-15 14:53:35

Thanks for the replies, I think I will message them and just be upfront. I used to spend about £10 per child and then last year got some bargains as money was even tighter and spent about £5 but even that was an extra £20 odd which may not seem much but on my teeny budget is really hard, I only spend about £30 each on my own dc's.

I could afford to get them presents if wretched ExH paid ANY child maintenance!

I do feel awful though, I like giving presents. I do hope they don't still buy anyway as I know I'll panic buy them presents last minute :-/

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