to think if they can club together so can we?

[thorshammer]

OK I hope I explain this properly it took me a while to get my head around it myself.

Christmas talk going on . Extended family have decided that this year we should all put money in one potential divide it between all the children aunties BD eh all get one half decent present rather then individual presents from aunties cousins etc. I was in complete agreement.

Yesterday I heard the amount to be paid in and what the total amount pair child would be and the amounts didn't add up. When I questioned it , it turned out my aunt and cousin are being included as one input ie they are halving the amount and putting it in between them .

So WIBU to suggest that I half the amount with my parents and we go in as one input ? No real difference between the families both me and my cousin independent with dps and dcs it's not like she's still single and living with parents or anything.

[ImperialBlether]

Just do exactly the same - how can they argue with it?

[thorshammer]

Wtf happened to my post

I don't even know what that was supposed to say. Something along the lines of "one pot put into by aunties/cousins then divided between all the children"

[Brioche201]

well it depends.If everybody else has 6 childen and she only has one I think it is fair enough.

[thorshammer]

Not sure imperial otherwise why wouldn't they have just organised it that way in the first place? They must have a reason for keeping ours separate.

Brioche but then my parents have none and they're being asked to contribute full amount?

[KP86]

If you can afford it, just pay the original amount. Not worth a potential argument and ruining your Christmas over it.

Christmas shouldn't be about equity in present value, it should be about being together, having fun, and gift GIVING, not counting $ of stuff you get in return.

[ChunkyPickle]

Leaves a bad taste though - I remember a christmas where it was decided to do something similar - again, most of us in similar situations, it was agreed that we'd all spend 35 quid on one preset for one person - secret santa style.

Which I dutifully did, 70 quids worth of presents winged their way to the appropriate individuals.

I got two polythene shopping bags and one of those novelty christmas books that you never read, and DP got a cardboard do-it-yourself projector. Max cost combined of well under 35 quid.

I'd have preferred nothing to be honest, rather than someone clearly gaming the system - I could have got all the kids in the family something fun and token with the 70 quid instead.

I didn't participate in the secret santas from then on. I just got people I was close to, and kids presents.

[thorshammer]

When I originally heard the idea I thought it would be something similar to yours Chunky in that I thought all the adults/couples would put in x amount and it would be divided equally between the dcs.
But they've worked it out x amount per dc which I think makes it a bit harder to calculate plus said relatives have decided they will club together when the rest of us have to go individually.

I know what you're saying KPMG I suppose that's the point of the thread is don't want to cause a fuss or come across mean to my family but I just feel I'm getting short-changed somehow. And so are my parents. Even more so my parents.

[thorshammer]

KP86 my autocorrect is crazy today

[expatinscotland]

Sounds batshit. I'd backout of this.

[MrsJorahMormont]

It only works if everyone pays the same so your aunt and cousin need to pay the set amount each. These things are a great idea but they often go pear-shaped.

[ThatsDissapointing]

It sounds like a system that would end up unfair one way or another. How many DC are there? Does the chain have DC.
Why don't you suggest all the parents but a present for their own kids and leave it at that - the GP could always give a little extra if they wanted.

[Brioche201]

It isn't really in the spirit of giving is it? Why don't you all put in what you would normally have spent on each other.See how much there is and divvy it up per child

[thorshammer]

There are no GPs involved.

When the info was passed on to me I was told 6 kids but I count 7 so not sure who is getting left out

Well I'm saying no GPs but obviously my parents are my dcs GPs but they are auntie and uncle to all the other kids.

[WipsGlitter]

I'm lost.

Why don't you stop buying presents for the kids? Or do some sort of secret Santa thing.

[thorshammer]

Wips I know the feeling ! I do need it clarified further but I just wanted to know if it would be reasonable to ask if I can club in with my parents before going and asking the organiser the full details and asking about the clubbing together.

[OurBlanche]

Sounds like the perfect recipe for tears.

I'd tell them it sounds hard to follow, ask what happened to equal shares, everyone contributing and the 7th child?

Then back out.

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

I'd suggest that instead of putting money into a pot, you should agree a budget and then put names into a hat and do Secret Santa instead.

[scarlets]

Sounds convoluted. It would be easier to stop present-giving altogether, or to do Secret Santa.

I'd perhaps go along with the silly proposal this year for thesake of peace and harmony, and then suggest something different next September for Christmas 2016.