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To not buy their children any more presents?

(125 Posts)
RainbowInACloud Sun 18-Oct-15 16:12:07

I think I probably am but it's getting on my nerves.
Two of my very good friends have children and I always remember their birthdays, buy presents and send a text on the day. I know both of the mums care about these things so I try hard to remember and get something thoughtful.
For the last two or three years they have forgotten my children's birthdays. Occasionally I have had a text a few days/ weeks later but no catch up present/ card.
I know I'm being precious about my own kids but I'm sick of making a fuss over their kids and get nothing in return. It's not a present things as I'd be happy with a text/ fb message/ card etc.
so- do I not bother with their birthdays anymore? Or is that petulant?
Thanks

RainbowInACloud Sun 18-Oct-15 16:13:05

Ps I know they'll be bothered if I forget!

theycallmemellojello Sun 18-Oct-15 16:13:30

Err yes it's petulant to not buy a kid presents to make a point to his or her parents!

LyndaNotLinda Sun 18-Oct-15 16:15:07

Just don't buy their kids presents. My rule is that I buy friends' kids presents if I see them on their birthday , otherwise not.

I find it hard enough to remember all my family's birthdays, no matter about everyone else's children

VinylScratch Sun 18-Oct-15 16:15:49

YANBU I'd be getting pissed off now too, I would let it go once if they genuinely forgot but 2 or 3 years in a row says they just can't be arsed so I'd start doing the same for them.

WipsGlitter Sun 18-Oct-15 16:15:52

I'd not bother. But have a conversation with them about it.

SurlyCue Sun 18-Oct-15 16:16:47

Nah I'm with you OP. Do they even read the texts out to their DC? Probably not. Would the DC even care?

LyndaNotLinda Sun 18-Oct-15 16:17:05

It's not petulant if they clearly don't give a shit about your kids. It's being a mug.

DisappointedOne Sun 18-Oct-15 16:18:25

Have this with all of DH's family. I no longer hug for any of our nieces and nephews.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 18-Oct-15 16:18:38

I find it hard enough to remember all my family's birthdays, no matter about everyone else's children

Try writing them down somewhere, such as on a calendar. I find that helps. smile

DisappointedOne Sun 18-Oct-15 16:18:46

*buy

AnemonesCloser Sun 18-Oct-15 16:19:20

I wouldn't bother any more.

Anyone who gets their knickers in a knot over their friend forgetting their child's birthday but can't be bothered to reciprocate? Feck 'em.

AnemonesCloser Sun 18-Oct-15 16:21:02

Personally none of my friends buy gifts for each other's kids. There are just far too many of them! Makes life much easier.

RainbowInACloud Sun 18-Oct-15 16:21:07

Okay thanks. I'm going to be brave and not buy something for the birthday that's coming up. Aargh! It's not like me at all.
One year i had a brand new 3 day baby but still managed to get a present and my best friend had nothing for the new baby at all.

RainbowInACloud Sun 18-Oct-15 16:22:30

Yeah I wouldn't bother if they weren't 'birthday' people but they are so I do.
With other friends we either both don't buy or both do.

clam Sun 18-Oct-15 16:24:38

"Err yes it's petulant to not buy a kid presents to make a point to his or her parents!"

Err no, it isn't!

Floggingmolly Sun 18-Oct-15 16:25:51

So they only "care about these things".when the gifts are coming in their direction? Bollocks to that.

laffymeal Sun 18-Oct-15 16:28:57

Yanbu, they're self involved arseholes.

PuppyMonkey Sun 18-Oct-15 16:33:44

They care about these things do they? grin

Ah diddums.

Nataleejah Sun 18-Oct-15 16:35:35

I'd try to subtly remind them about DCs birthdays coming up. And really... No need to overfuss others' kids.

QOD Sun 18-Oct-15 16:45:45

Good for u op

Dd took 12 yrs in the making. 12 yrs of buying for neices and nephews (on dhs side) And I loved it! And then no fucker ever bought her anything

So they can fuck off

GloriaHotcakes Sun 18-Oct-15 16:46:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

miaowroar Sun 18-Oct-15 16:50:16

For years I bought and posted presents for my Xh's cousins's children - at MiL's suggestion request. Years later when I had my first baby, I sent Christmas presents as usual only to get none back and to be told by my to be fair, sheepish MiL that said cousins had decided not to exchange presents with their cousin's new offspring.

I just told MiL that I wished they had told me this ten years previously as it would have saved me a fortune.

RaspberryOverload Sun 18-Oct-15 16:51:39

They'll care because they are selfish. Stuff coming their way/ their DCs way, fine, but they can't be arsed to reciprocate.

Suggests they're not really friends, either.

AnemonesCloser Sun 18-Oct-15 16:56:46

If they make an issue of it OP just say nice and brightly 'oh but I assumed we weren't doing gifts anymore as you haven't sent on to Jimmy in three years?'.

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