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Clearly iabu and my judgey pants are on

(58 Posts)
m0therofdragons Sun 18-Oct-15 11:35:24

I'm on a housing association fb page that's run by a friend. Most members are living in ha as that's the point but a few of us are on it for other reasons. It's usually a supportive community page with a bit of chat. Friend often puts questions to start a conversation and today's question is how many children do you have?
The answers have shocked me. Most are more than 4 with quite a few with 7 and 9.
I can't help thinking that if you asked people who don't live in ha housing in this area how many dc they have the answers would mostly be 2 or 3.
Suddenly I'm feeling all dm but it's hard not to think that having a dc every 3 years and living in ha has become a lifestyle option for some and that seems wrong to me.
I absolutely think ha is essential and people work very hard for too little money but that doesn't mean you can just keep having babies. Well actually it apparently does.
I just always assumed it was the dm making daft headlines but it seems it may actually be true.

Jaxsbum Sun 18-Oct-15 11:37:16

do you have nothing better to do

ilovesooty Sun 18-Oct-15 11:37:19

There are very few families with 7 or more children claiming benefits in the UK. Clearly your HA has most of them. hmm

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sun 18-Oct-15 11:38:01

Do you think the poor should be sterilized?

aBrightNewDay Sun 18-Oct-15 11:38:41

YANBU at all - too few people taking personal responsibility these days.

However you are going to get totally flamed on here.

NotSoDesperateHousewife Sun 18-Oct-15 11:38:54


MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sun 18-Oct-15 11:39:37

Oh it's you.

You are on one today. Fat people and the poor... immigrant thread next then...

usual Sun 18-Oct-15 11:40:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oysterbabe Sun 18-Oct-15 11:40:26

Why are you on the page?

SaucyJack Sun 18-Oct-15 11:41:45

What's it got to do with social housing? Do you live in one of those mythological Northern towns where you can have a council house as big as you want for the asking?

m0therofdragons Sun 18-Oct-15 11:45:34

I know I'll get flamed. No I don't think people should be sterilised and I'm not living in my ivory tower. We struggled to afford 3 dc until I recently returned to work (before that childcare would have been more than I earned). We planned 2 dc but number 2 was twins so have 3. A huge financial impact on us but luckily we have been able to cope.
I just feel people need to act responsibly and be responsible for their actions in an age where birth control is so readily available.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 18-Oct-15 11:45:43

I have 5 children and live in council housing.

We are here after months in a refuge for our own safety.

I had to up sticks and leave with nothing but the clothes on our backs and start our lives in a new area from scratch.

It wasn't exactly a lifestyle choice, but thanks for the judgement.

m0therofdragons Sun 18-Oct-15 11:49:37

As I said in my op I know I'm being u so need to have a mn talking to. This kind of dm rant is not usually me.
I'm on the page as my friend set it up and the housing is walking distance from me. It's all about community and I don't have a problem with ha and think it's essential in this day and age. Doesn't mean I can't feel it's being abused.

InTheBox Sun 18-Oct-15 11:50:35

Well you say in your title that clearly yabu. I guess we can wrap it up here then.

m0therofdragons Sun 18-Oct-15 11:54:06

Elsa - your family is exactly what ha should be there for! That's not what I'm judging.
It's the "I've got 6 dc and one on the way but ha won't find us a bigger place until baby is born - we need to be settled before baby comes! Can't believe they'd do this! " (actual quote from page.) I guess I assumed it was only in the dm I'd see it.

usual Sun 18-Oct-15 11:55:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 18-Oct-15 12:01:35

The houses are being lived in so they are not being abused.

Why do you feel they are? You know SH is not dependant on benefits don't you?

TheStripyGruffalo Sun 18-Oct-15 12:05:12

Maybe that is because it's the only way they can get a house large enough? Private landlords wouldn't want to rent to such large families perhaps? Not many property developers build large enough houses either.

m0therofdragons Sun 18-Oct-15 12:07:13

I do realise that and I'm sure there's a lot more to it all. It's also probably very few percentage wise just they're the ones shouting the loudest this morning.
To be honest, forget the ha part, I'm fairly shock at anyone with 9 dc - exhausted thinking about it. They are far stronger women than me!

ThatIsNachoCheese Sun 18-Oct-15 12:07:38

Seriously? This is how you choose to spend your Sunday?

RJnomaaaaaargh Sun 18-Oct-15 12:12:03

I'd be interested to know what the average stock size of this ha is that they are able to accommodate so many huge families. The majority of sh is 3 apartment. Or are most of them living in overcrowded situations?

RJnomaaaaaargh Sun 18-Oct-15 12:12:37

Actually op if you look at their website you might be able to find the housing stats and let me know.

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain Sun 18-Oct-15 12:14:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

toomuchtooold Sun 18-Oct-15 12:16:02

You don't have to have a child every 3 years to live in social housing. You can just live in social housing.

I love the idea that having babies to stay on benefits is the easy option. I've got 2 kids not 9, and going to work is a bloody holiday.

WorraLiberty Sun 18-Oct-15 12:16:30

I don't get the problem?

If a family has say, 3 kids and a 3 bedroom house, why does it matter if they have more kids, as long as they're not demanding a bigger home?

Unless they're expecting a separate bedroom for every child, YABVU.

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