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Dear son please remove your...

(116 Posts)
bananaandcustard Sat 17-Oct-15 17:20:57

little blue can of lube from the bathroom. I assume you and your girlfriend used it this morning (during Saturday kitchen, btw we turned up the sound on tv to stop our ears burning) and forgot to take it back to your bedroom.

As you are so careless with your more 'personal' items I feel quite at liberty to also mention that you do need to make more of an 'effort' with your girlfriend, rather than rely too heavily on lube.

Thanks for that son.

Shockers Sat 17-Oct-15 17:23:59

Cringe! grin

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Oct-15 17:24:06

Well this is weird

Is he a Mumsnetter?

Are you actually suggesting your son and his girlfriend need lube because he doesn't make her wet enough?

Bleurrrgh! < Orders a lorry load of mind bleach >

NotSoDesperateHousewife Sat 17-Oct-15 17:25:00

I hate to break it to you, but I doubt that's the reason for the lube...

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 17-Oct-15 17:26:30

Your son is having Bumsex

Buttercup27 Sat 17-Oct-15 17:27:24

This has really made me laugh smile
Now offering a big bottle of brain bleach and ear defenders wine

InQuiteAPickle Sat 17-Oct-15 17:28:41


Why don't you post that on his FaceBook wall? hmmgrin

InTheBox Sat 17-Oct-15 17:29:24

Take him the lube and tell him to have some more privacy next time. They really shouldn't be having sex when you are clearly able to hear them.

MaudGonneMad Sat 17-Oct-15 17:29:43


AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 17-Oct-15 17:30:12

Erm... Yep, lube is unlikely to be for what you're thinking.

Also, this is far TMI. Put it on his bed and he'll die knowing you saw it, and then look after it better.

Now to bleach my brain.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 17-Oct-15 17:31:43

Dear son please remove your...

...penis from your girlfriend's bum during Saturday Kitchen.

ballerinabelle Sat 17-Oct-15 17:31:47

That's grim. Leave it in his room with a note attached.

bananaandcustard Sat 17-Oct-15 17:32:15

sadly this is not the first time he has left such things around our home.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Oct-15 17:32:54

OK, now I'm covering my face and reading this thread through my fingers.

Thanks for that Shatners! grin

AnemonesCloser Sat 17-Oct-15 17:34:27

Shatners the least they could do is take themselves upstairs for such antics.


Nonnainglese Sat 17-Oct-15 17:34:42

<mind is boggling, big time>

Perhaps it's time he moved out?

SacredHeart Sat 17-Oct-15 17:34:50

"penis from your girlfriend's bum during Saturday Kitchen"


That has made my day. Personally I would take it and hide it so he has to ask for it or replace it (and think about mum and dad having some bum fun).

ShatnersBassoon Sat 17-Oct-15 17:34:57

He's a pisstaker then, with little respect for you. He must know that ignorance is bliss when it comes to your immediate family's sex lives.

fearandloathinginambridge Sat 17-Oct-15 17:36:34

well we don't know how hold the son and girlfriend are. She may be menopausal, vaginal dryness may be an issue grin

InQuiteAPickle Sat 17-Oct-15 17:36:58

Has he no shame? Seriously! That's just gross.

I think if I heard my teenager having sex I would shout them to stop. I accept that it goes on - I wasn't an angel during my teenage years but I was discreet. I would be pissed off at the lack of disrespect.

Disclaimer: I don't have teenagers or older children.

Topseyt Sat 17-Oct-15 17:39:03

I'd leave it on his bed with note attached too. Make sure girlfriend is also likely to be around to see it and to realise.

Say in the note that they put you off your sacrosanct Saturday morning breakfast. grin

Alternatively, next time you hear them "at it" send him a text asking if they have used sufficient lube this time, and whether or not they would like a civilised cup of tea when they are quite finished. wink grin

Sparklingbrook Sat 17-Oct-15 17:41:50

I am wondering why it moved from bedroom to bathroom. confused

Shockers Sat 17-Oct-15 17:42:11

Leave it on your bedside table, with the cap removed... he will struggle to use it after that wink.

You could pop a video camera and some furry handcuffs next to it for added impact too.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 17-Oct-15 17:42:35

It probably needed rinsing off.

Shockers Sat 17-Oct-15 17:43:19

How old is he?

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