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Was this a comment on my appearance? Or just a nice gesture?

(28 Posts)
MaryPoppinsPenguins Fri 16-Oct-15 14:48:24

Just before I start, this isn't a thread to bash my mum, we have a great relationship and I love her to bits.

She's been ill so I've seen her more than usual lately, and she's popped by or vice versa after the school run etc.

When I was working, I would straighten my hair and put makeup on everyday, now I'm a SAHM, I don't. I usually just put my hair up in a clip and wash my face and go out like that, on the school run and to baby groups etc with my youngest. By the time I've got in, tidied up, given DD2 lunch, put her down for a nap half the days gone and it's nearly time for the school run again so I stay looking like I look and generally am makeup free (and maybe a bit scruffy?!) unless I'm going out for an evening or meeting friends or something.

I'm 32, and actually, I think I look okay without makeup, not great, but not horrific either. (Or so I thought!)

My mum called me earlier and said 'listen, your birthday is coming up so I was thinking, let's go out and get someone to do your makeup properly, then we can buy all the bits they used and it can be your present? And you could get your highlights done if you like?'

Now, obviously I was like 'you don't have to do that!' But she was quite insistent... So I agreed and said it sounded nice.

But now I'm thinking, do I really look that much of a mess my mother has to intervene? confused

Is it not acceptable to go on the school run in a 'naice' area with a bare face?

Or am I overthinking this and it's just a nice gesture?

TheHouseOnTheLane Fri 16-Oct-15 14:52:00

Whatever it is, its a treat yes? Or no?

If you'd enjoy it then stop trying to work out why she's doing it. No point.

MrsCaecilius Fri 16-Oct-15 14:52:12

I don't know your mum, but if that came from mine, I'd think it was a kind thought. She sees you rushing about after your dcs and wants you to have a little spoiling and pampering time?

GoblinLittleOwl Fri 16-Oct-15 15:17:47

I think it is an inspired present and I wish someone would give it to me.(When I was having a bad time marriage-wise my mother suggested buying me a Bex Bissell for my birthday so I could clean the carpet more easily. Kindly meant, but Ohhh!)

steppemum Fri 16-Oct-15 15:31:10

It sounds to me as if she sees you running around, no time for yourself, when in the past you used to wear make-up etc.
So not a criticism of your looks, but rather an observation that you don't have time for your self any more.

And she wants to treat you.

herderofcats Fri 16-Oct-15 15:34:14

I think it's probably both, but meant kindly. Perhaps she thinks you miss it?

MaxPepsi Fri 16-Oct-15 15:36:59

I'd go with the nice gesture.

Sounds like she wants you to have chance of being you again rather than mum of 2.

Lots of posters on here mention how they would love some pamper time and would love some good make up/decent hair cut but can't justify it when they have kids to spend money on so I would grab it with both hands and enjoy.

FishOn Fri 16-Oct-15 15:38:52

I think she's being nice. Sees you spend all your time and money on the children and wants to treat you.

TRexingInAsda Fri 16-Oct-15 15:44:11

Don't overthink it, it's a fab present!

MrsMook Fri 16-Oct-15 15:47:11

I'm interpreting it as meaning kindly and a treat.

Janeymoo50 Fri 16-Oct-15 15:49:10

Overthinking it a bit, she probably wants to spoil you and understands (quite rightly) that you probably don't get the chance to do much in that way anymore (perhaps she remembers wishing for that herself when in the same situation?). I'd throw in afternoon tea too if it was me, what a lovely treat and a lovely mum.

Enjoy your birthday.

LaContessaDiPlump Fri 16-Oct-15 15:51:11

You can go places to get someone to show you how to do your makeup nicely? Where? How much does it cost? Is there pressure on you to buy?

I only wear mascara because I don't know how to apply anything else without making myself look like a clown.

I think your mum's gesture could be argued both ways, but you do sound like you may be a little sensitive to the potential negative feeling behind the kind offer. I'd go along, myself.

If she sees you without your makeup on in future and reproaches you for not wearing 'all those nice things I bought you' - THEN she'd be a bit of a cow grin

noeffingidea Fri 16-Oct-15 15:57:17

If you've always been into make up and getting your hair done then I expect your Mum meant it nicely. She might think you don't have any time or money to spend on yourself and would appreciate it as a treat.
I think it shows that she's thought of what you might like rather than just going out and buying any old tat. Compared to some of the presents people get on here it's a stroke of genius.

hebihebi Fri 16-Oct-15 15:57:22

Does your mum always wear make up?

CainInThePunting Fri 16-Oct-15 15:57:43

She wants to spoil you on your Birthday and get you something that you can use going forward that's just for you.
She might also want to get something for herself, if she's been poorly.
Plus it means spending a bit of girly time together without the kids.

It's a lovely gesture. Enjoy it. smile

LauraChant Fri 16-Oct-15 16:01:48

Now personally I would find that a bit of a bind as a birthday present. I don't wear makeup always and when I do, to go out, it takes less than five minutes to put powder, lipstick, mascara on, so I wouldn't like someone doing it "properly" and most of the stuff would probably go off before I used it. I would vastly prefer a facial.

But if my mum offered I probably wouldn't take it as a slight on my appearance. She never would offer it though as she knows me!

PastaLaFeasta Fri 16-Oct-15 16:06:30

I would love this. Also 32 and don't quite make the same effort as pre kids. Although I do wear a little makeup almost every day. I wanted to get this for my sister for her 30th as a boost and help learn new techniques for a new decade of life. It's nice and a treat to pamper yourself. Although no need to do the highlights if you happy without, they seem to need a lot of maintenance and I couldn't be bothered with that!

AnnaMarlowe Fri 16-Oct-15 16:06:57

What MrsCaecilius said exactly.

What a nice Mum you have.

nutmegandginger Fri 16-Oct-15 16:09:56

I'd agree with the nice gesture. My mum once got me something similar for a birthday present, and it was brilliant and I learned loads from the day. She probably doesn't mean to imply that you should never leave the house without makeup, more that you don't have the opportunity to focus on you at the moment and it makes you feel good to do so sometimes. Just like she might have offered to treat you to a facial or a manicure, but not mean to imply that your skin and hands are bad.

Uselesswatless Fri 16-Oct-15 16:12:32

"Getting your make up done properly" is just meaning by a professional right?

My friend works at Charles Fox and she got me a gift like that - it was blooming amazing and I learned a lot!!

Enjoy it and don't be offended!!

TheOriginalWinkly Fri 16-Oct-15 16:25:14

If my mum offered me that it would be because she thought I looked shit, but she would tell me I looked shit, I wouldn't need to second guess her grin

(She lives far away and has no idea how little effort I put into my appearance beyond maintaining a high level of hygiene!)

cashewnutty Fri 16-Oct-15 16:36:07

I am thinking of doing something like this for my DD's 18th! Taking her to get her hair done, her make up done and her nails done then out for a fabulous lunch with champagne to celebrate. I am not doing it because i think she looks bad. To be quite frank, she looks fab just as she is. I am doing it because she spends so much time cooped up doing school work and i think she deserves a lovely treat. I think your mum is probably doing the same for you.

Theimpossiblegirl Fri 16-Oct-15 16:40:22

I'd say she sees how hard you are working and wants to give you something just for you. It sounds like a lovely treat. If she gave you money or vouchers you would probably use them on the children or home, so she wants to treat you.

FingerOFudge Fri 16-Oct-15 16:41:00

No , I'd see it as my Mum seeing that I don't have much time for myself any more, and wanting to give a bit back to me. I can totally see why you might take it as a criticism, but given the relationship you have with your Mum, I don't think it is.

If you're not going to do it, would you ask her to take me instead please? wink

pilates Fri 16-Oct-15 16:41:19

Overthinking and you are very lucky to have a super mum who has come up with such a thoughtful present.

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