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To have told my niece I'm not mad on her choice of name feel a bitch

(491 Posts)
Everythingwillbeok Fri 16-Oct-15 12:21:12

My niece has a little boy, 6 with a "normal name" popular and nice.
She's due in about 7 weeks I think with a baby girl. She lives about an hour away so don't see her loads, we've just chatted on the phone and she's mentioned her choice of name. I really wish I'd have said oh that's cute or something and as we were on the phone could probably have got away with it.

But I think I went quiet and said "oh right....Mmmmm I'm not mad" argh I feel like a cow, it's nothing to do with me.

My sister(her mother) has just text me saying I believe you don't like daughters choice of name, she's offended.

How can I put this right, we aren't particularly close but I really don't want to make anyone feel bad,especially when pregnant.

It's just a silly name, sorry but it is.

squoosh Fri 16-Oct-15 12:23:51

This is why people should keep their baby's name a state secret till they're born. 'Helpful' relatives giving their opinion!

I'm sure she'll get over it.

Hollyoaksfan Fri 16-Oct-15 12:24:56

She'll get over it. Just say it's my opinion but it's not my child to name so she can name her whatever she likes!

cashewnutty Fri 16-Oct-15 12:25:27

Well you need to tell us the name is now???

SaucyJack Fri 16-Oct-15 12:25:48

Depends how bad it is I guess.

MatildaTheCat Fri 16-Oct-15 12:26:12

Oh dear. Keep your head down and say no more.

It's tricky but hey...her baby, her choice. IMO people should never tell others what they are going to name a baby or the sex but simply announce it after the birth.

Only a very brass necked auntie would comment then. grin

EponasWildDaughter Fri 16-Oct-15 12:26:13

How can I put this right

Give her a call and put it right.

Something like ''Your mum has told me you're upset about me saying i didn't like the name! I'm so sorry, i don't want you upset. Take no notice of me - i've thought about the name and it just sounded unusual, but it's lovely'.

Or similar.

Or don't lie about liking the name, just say the bit about you feel awful that you might have upset her. Send her a bunch of flowers as well?

squoosh Fri 16-Oct-15 12:26:46

This has reminded me of that fabulous thread where a poster was outraged to the most outraged degree that her soon to be niece was to be named Charmaine.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 16-Oct-15 12:27:12

We neeed to know the name!

EponasWildDaughter Fri 16-Oct-15 12:28:27

And yeah, we do need the name. Quid pro quo and all that grin

squoosh Fri 16-Oct-15 12:28:44

Yeah, cough up!

Bubbletree4 Fri 16-Oct-15 12:31:12

You need to say the name before we can judge whether you are U or not.

You might have saved her dd from a hideous name.
Or you might have been rude about a "normal" name.

OrionsAccessory Fri 16-Oct-15 12:31:47

Apologise, say you were caught off guard because its an unusual name and you shouldn't have been honest given a negative opinion. The baby will just become the name she's given once she's born and of course they should choose the name they love for their daughter.

Sure she'll be a bit grumpy about it but all you can do is apologise. She'll get over it eventually.

ThatsDissapointing Fri 16-Oct-15 12:33:47

Just phone up an apologise. Everyone says daft things once in a while, it's how you deal with it afterwards that matters.

Don't pretend that you know like the name as she will guess you are fibbing. I would go with a simple wholehearted apology.

unless the name is Mayday wink

Ihatechoosingnames Fri 16-Oct-15 12:33:56

Yep, definitely depends on what the name is!

The other week a friend who is a week ahead of me said she was calling her baby an unusual name (cannot post it here, may identify so let's just say the name was X!) I cannot hide my true feelings ever - it's always written all over my fave no matter how I try. I said "Oh, X? Wow" and she looked a bit disappointed so I quickly added "what an unusual name, so cute!" I don't think she bought my add on but oh well. I just didn't know what to say blush so embarrassed.

specialsubject Fri 16-Oct-15 12:34:18

oops. Foot in mouth, we all know that it is 'say something nice or keep quiet'.

apologise and leave it at that.

that said - most 'standard' names don't provoke a reaction, so this may be a warning of the reactions she is going to get.

Everythingwillbeok Fri 16-Oct-15 12:34:23

Thanks for replies, ok the name of choice is Kandy-Rain.
With a K as pointed out by niece, she's got no access to Internet that's why she called me rather than FaceTime or FB message or whatever so I know I'm safe to say it. My sisters unlikely to be a MNer.
Well....AIBU? I don't think I am but still think I should have said it was nice,despite true thoughts.

squoosh Fri 16-Oct-15 12:35:11


Holy fuckamoly! I'd have been hard pushed not to react badly to that.

Hollyoaksfan Fri 16-Oct-15 12:36:28

YANBU THAT IS FUCKING AWFUL! Do not apologise op.

MadGrumblyGnome Fri 16-Oct-15 12:36:59

I think most people would hesitate before lying saying how lovely Kandy-Rain is! Wow. Nope, I think you did her a favour there.

katienana Fri 16-Oct-15 12:37:02

That is shockingly bad! Yanbu

Janeymoo50 Fri 16-Oct-15 12:37:07

OMG - no, YWNBU. But still apologise.

ProjectGainsborough Fri 16-Oct-15 12:37:07


Christ. That's a stupid name. She must be expecting that not eveyone will love it.

TurnOffTheTv Fri 16-Oct-15 12:37:22

What? Kandy-Reign is much better surely?

ScribblerOnTheRoof Fri 16-Oct-15 12:37:23

Jesus that is fecking awful

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