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to think mixing up your food on a plate is bad manners?

(289 Posts)
Moonatic Wed 14-Oct-15 21:15:29

This is dh I'm talking about. Made a pastry-topped chicken and leek pie at the weekend. Served with sweetcorn and carrots. Before eating it, he cut his whole serving into small pieces (size of a penny), then mixed it up. I got really annoyed, as dis the kids and asked him not to eat that way, because it was really bad manners. He said it wasn't. Who is right?

To add: this was just one example. If it's mixable, it gets mixed up. Cottage pie, fish pie, lasagne, pasta, curry and rice - it all turns into a big plate of mush.

There is also a sub-question: is it rude to cut your food into small pieces before eating it? By which I mean, cutting everything into small bite size pieces before starting to eat. Again, I say it is, dh says it isn't. (This is what he does with food that is less easily mushed up - e.g. something like chops, new potatoes and vegetables.

EatShitDerek Wed 14-Oct-15 21:16:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads Wed 14-Oct-15 21:17:07

What's rude about it?

SmokingGun Wed 14-Oct-15 21:17:55

Why is that bad manners? confused

I dont understand why you care how is eating it, unless he's shoving his face in plate and gobbling it up no-handed?

Seeyounearertime Wed 14-Oct-15 21:18:03

The Americans eat that way, they will cut everything up, put their knife down and eat with just a fork.
Mixing up is different, at home I think he should be able to eat however he chooses, in public I think would be a little bitnrude.

PampersNotPampered Wed 14-Oct-15 21:19:31

I think it's rude if he's a guest, but eating in his own home? Not really. If that's how he likes to eat, then so be it. Let him be comfy. I like to smother lots of things in ketchup but I'd hold back at someone else's house etc. At home though, that's my sanctuary. Who the hell puts on airs and graces in their own home?

SharkBastard Wed 14-Oct-15 21:19:46

Wow, dinner round yours sounds a riot!

Do you always watch what others are doing with their food? It's a bit weird

whatdoIget Wed 14-Oct-15 21:19:54

It would piss me off but then I am quite intolerant. It must be a bit like eating with a man-sized baby?

CupboardOfBacon Wed 14-Oct-15 21:19:58

When I have curry and rice I always mix the curry and rice together. I also mix my mash, veg and gravy together cos it's yummy grin I never realised I was being rude hmm

SaveOurBogBrushes Wed 14-Oct-15 21:20:35

Not really sure what you mean. Bad manners to put a mouthful of different foods on his fork? Umm no. Bad manners to mush it up like ice cream ? Bit grim, I wouldn't want to eat opposite it.

winchester1 Wed 14-Oct-15 21:20:35

My oh does this too I only think its bad manners as he then just shovels with his fork. But letting his morning sandwich drop into his yogurt and then eating both is kinda weird

Seeyounearertime Wed 14-Oct-15 21:20:55
That link highlights the difference between US and European eating styles.

SaucyJack Wed 14-Oct-15 21:21:13


I'm with your DH. I mash all my food up and then shovel it in. I'd blend it if I could be arsed.

Welshmaenad Wed 14-Oct-15 21:21:15

I cut everything up before I eat, it's a habit left over from when the kids were tiny and I would have to eat with one hand and hold a breastfeeding baby in the other!

DoreenLethal Wed 14-Oct-15 21:21:52

What has it got to do with you exactly?

FluffyNinja Wed 14-Oct-15 21:22:11

I mix my food and lick my plate. Nerr.

SarfEast1cated Wed 14-Oct-15 21:22:58

Could you just blitz it up in the blender and serve in a bowl?

I wouldn't like to see that tbh but I am a bit weird - don't like my food mixed at all, and eat dinner in order of preference.

thenightsky Wed 14-Oct-15 21:23:35

I must admit I'd be pissed off if I went to the trouble to make a lovely pie and DH mashed it up into baby food.

Moonatic Wed 14-Oct-15 21:23:47

It bothers me because I've gone to the trouble of cooking a nice meal, and serving it attractively. The see the whole lot turned into baby food before my eyes makes me feel somewhat insulted and slightly nauseous.

Also, I think it demonstrates bad manners in front of the children.

But maybe that's just me?

Whoknewitcouldbeso Wed 14-Oct-15 21:25:04

My nan used to do this but I think it was to do with her false teeth. It did used to make me feel a bit sick though as she'd mash everything up into a paste envy

So if it's similar to that YANBU and I wouldn't like it either. Uncouth is the word I think.

expatinscotland Wed 14-Oct-15 21:25:32

Um, yes, YABU

Moonatic Wed 14-Oct-15 21:26:49

To clarify, I'm not talking about different foods on his fork at the same time. I'm talking about the entire plateful mixed up together into some kind of mush before he begins eating.

It is "something to do with me" because we are eating together as a family, at the dinner table and I find it off putting, to say the least.

Bragadocia Wed 14-Oct-15 21:26:50

I wouldn't say it was rude, but it's a little uncouth. At least he isn't emptying a bottle of condiment over it before tasting. Now that is rude.

Cornettoninja Wed 14-Oct-15 21:27:27

At home? Sounds reasonable to me. As long as he's not chewing with his mouth open, burping, farting and wiping his nose with his sleeve I don't see the issue.

I get you create good with a certain way to enjoy it in mind but surely the important thing is he enjoyed it?

wickedlazy Wed 14-Oct-15 21:27:29

Cutting your food into bite size pieces before you eat it is rude. You're supposed to cut as you go.

But surely that only applies when you're at eating out/at a dinner party, not in your own home with just your family?

I'm a real slob with food when ds isn't here (and I'm not setting an example), will eat chips with fingers etc. I do know how to eat politely when it matters though. Think you need to give him a break.

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