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To try to educate my friend that she is racist

(136 Posts)
eedon Sat 10-Oct-15 13:20:52

She keeps saying things like "I don't think white guys are attractive". Ive said in passing not to say that around people as its racist, she's replied with " no its not, I like them " and I've not challenged her more.

She is racist right? If she just said " I find brown skin very attractive" that would be totally fine to me.

KenAdams Sat 10-Oct-15 13:23:05

No that's not racist. She just doesn't find them attractive. I'm of a different background and I don't find guys from my background attractive at all.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 10-Oct-15 13:25:15

Its not racist but makes her sound a bit boring and thick

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Sat 10-Oct-15 13:26:04

YABU. Your friend is not racist, she just has a preference regarding the men she dates. I don't find red hair attractive - does that make me a bad person?

BigOCupOfTea Sat 10-Oct-15 13:26:16

I don't think thats racist, its just what you're attracted to.

MaidOfStars Sat 10-Oct-15 13:26:47

Closed mind? Perhaps. Racist? No.

eedon Sat 10-Oct-15 13:27:53

How is it not racist telling a whole race they are not attractive?

If I reversed it to say "black men aren't very attractive" I'd rightly be ripped to shreads.

She's a bit silly about it as she says this then reels off a list of white guys she does fancy!

jay55 Sat 10-Oct-15 13:30:24

It is racist, it is saying all white guys look the same.

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Oct-15 13:32:03

I think it's all about the wording.

"I've never seen a white man I've found attractive" = Not racist

"I don't think white guys are attractive" = Writing off a whole race of people

AwfulBeryl Sat 10-Oct-15 13:32:06

I don't know, I would be a bit hmm if someone said they didn't find black men / women attractive, not because I don't understand that people have different tastes, it just seems quite strange to me not to be able to appreciate that some one looks nice - even if they're not your cup of tea, and tbh I would question the motivation behind their thinking.
Mostof my partners have been tall, quite slight, pale with dark hair, a bit like Jarvis Cocker. Don't mean I don't fancy the fuck out of Idris Elba. grin
It just has a bit of an " I don't mind the gays as long as they don't do it front of me" kind of thinking.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 10-Oct-15 13:32:07

That's not racist

Mintyy Sat 10-Oct-15 13:34:02

What Obsidian said!

AwfulBeryl Sat 10-Oct-15 13:34:54

Actually ignore the " I don't mind the gays " example I gave, it really made no sense grin
I do know what I mean, I just have a horrible cold and don't seem to be able to string a coherent sentence together.

BlueJug Sat 10-Oct-15 13:36:04

Not racist. Wouldn't racist the other way round either. Stupid maybe but equally stupid of you to try to "educate" her. Who she fanices is who she fancies - full stop really

eedon Sat 10-Oct-15 13:37:34

Would saying "I don't think black men are intelligent" be racist? for the ones saying commenting on looks of a whole race isn't racist.

totalrecall1 Sat 10-Oct-15 13:39:34

I don't think thats racist

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 10-Oct-15 13:40:21

She didn't comment on their looks, she said she personally doesn't find them attractive. I don't find Chinese men attractive, I'm not bloody racist though.

eedon Sat 10-Oct-15 13:43:27

I don't find Chinese men attractive, I'm not bloody racist though.

Sounds racist to me! If you said you have never seen a Chinese guy you found attractive that would be fine IMO.

Arabidopsis Sat 10-Oct-15 13:44:46

I'm not attracted to white men

v

White men aren't attractive

Two subtly different statements, but I can see someone saying the latter when they really mean the former.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief Sat 10-Oct-15 13:44:49

I don't think it's racist to find a 'type' not attractive.
A friend who had a fling with a black guy, kept going on about how it's not like her as she never finds black men attractive confused
I did take objection to that and told her what I thought of the stupidity of her comments.
Some people just don't think.

lexigrey Sat 10-Oct-15 13:49:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Sat 10-Oct-15 13:49:34

I don't think it's racist. i assume she still likes them as people.

I think it's a bit odd to write off all white men as unattractive though. I'm not sure I can think of an entire race I find universally unattractive.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sat 10-Oct-15 13:49:58

Sounds racist to me!

You clearly know fuck all about me dickwad.

Fratelli Sat 10-Oct-15 13:50:36

What WorraLiberty said!

bolleauxnouveau Sat 10-Oct-15 13:50:41

Are all white guys the same race then?

I could say I don't find stupid people attractive, though that might suggest I don't consider myself stupid, and I'm not sure I'm in a position to judge that.

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