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Birthday present, a chair - who is BU ?

(65 Posts)
Magichorse Fri 09-Oct-15 10:40:25

Hello all,

I'd welcome your perspective here on who is BU, my DW or me....

I have a home office and I have an office chair / desk etc

My DW HATES the chair, and for months has been suggesting I get a new one (too big, the cats sleep on it, it has a rip in the seat etc)

I like it - it's comfy, it's good quality, it's perfectly serviceable and there's no need to change a perfectly good chair's my birthday in a couple of weeks and my DW wants to get me a new office chair. For my birthday. Yes. A chair she wants. For my birthday.

I think she is being unreasonable for

A. Getting me something that she wants for my birthday
B. Thinking I would love a new chair in general (I've told her I don't want / need one)

My DW thinks I am being unreasonable for not loving the concept of a birthday chair

So please, who IBU here ?


BTW what I actually want are some stripey socks

DoJo Fri 09-Oct-15 10:43:54

SIBU - a present should be something that the recipient wants, or that the giver at least thinks the recipient wants. A present that you have said you don't want and that she is likely to get more enjoyment out of than you is not a present in my book.

SaucyJack Fri 09-Oct-15 10:47:41

She is BU.

If she thinks an office chair is such a great present, then you can get her one for Christmas.

PoppyFleur Fri 09-Oct-15 10:48:22

Your wife is being very unreasonable and I say this as a person who shed tears of joy at my birthday gift of walking boots and waterproofs. If it is not something you want, need or would enjoy then its not really a gift.

My DH's office is his space and my office is mine, I would not appreciate any comments on how I keep my office and I pay him the same curtesy, offices have doors for a reason!

patterkiller Fri 09-Oct-15 10:51:18

SIBU. My DH gave me a garden hose one year because I like gardening he said. In reality it was because he had split the previous one washing his car. I've never forgave him. Ever.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 09-Oct-15 10:52:12

She is being unreasonable, its not a present for you, its for her. Tell her you don't want a chair, you will prefer something you like.

attheendoftheday Fri 09-Oct-15 10:54:14

SIBU re the birthday present, that should be something she at least thinks you want.

However, I think the decision about replacing the chair should be a joint one as she presumably has to see it's scruffy rippedness, so it involves her too.

Forestdreams Fri 09-Oct-15 10:58:37

SIBU. Offer to buy her one for Christmas instead.

However I think you should come up with an alternative present suggestion, not just stripey socks.

Ouriana Fri 09-Oct-15 11:03:36

SIBU. Tell her there is no need to buy you the chair as you have already ordered one as her xmas present wink

Hullygully Fri 09-Oct-15 11:04:17

You don't want a Birthday Chair?

What is WRONG with you?

kungfupannda Fri 09-Oct-15 11:07:44

DS1's gym club does parties and they have a birthday throne.

You could ask for one of those.

Hullygully Fri 09-Oct-15 11:08:10

yy get a throne. And a crown.

SlightlyAshamed1 Fri 09-Oct-15 11:08:26

My husband had the same attitude to the office chair as you do. Then I threatened to show photos of the tattered, wrecked, slum of a chair to the neighbours. We got a new chair.

That said, YANBU as if you want stripey socks for your birthday then that is what you should get.

WorktoLive Fri 09-Oct-15 11:10:40

SIBU as it's a present for her not you. I agree with you about not unnecessarily replacing servicable items due to minor cosmetic imperfections.

You say 'your office' - does she use it/need to go in it at all. If not - why does she even care?

This thread reminds me of the TV programme Frasier, where Frasier hated his Dad's chair, because it was old and scruffy and Frasier kept wanting to replace it with something smarter that fit in with his decor, but his Dad didn't want him to because he liked his existing chair.

But it sounds like it is not even your chair. If the cats sleep in it, it is their chair that they allow you to use for work for the purposes of earning them whiskas tokens. grin

RB68 Fri 09-Oct-15 11:15:11

threaten her with a new iron or hoover for christmas if its about buying each other household chattels

HellKitty Fri 09-Oct-15 11:16:22

Ask her if she'd like some new pans for Christmas and see how far that goes!

Fiderer Fri 09-Oct-15 11:16:36

We got old chairs donated at school and had a project with the children to decorate them. They were the Birthday chairs.

So tell her to pick an old wooden chair out of a skip, paint it in garish colours, decorate it with wonky butterflies or other animals/insects of her choice and then keep it in a cupboard. For 4 mins on your birthday you can sit on it while she sings you Happy Birthday.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 09-Oct-15 11:18:15

Yes, she is being unreasonable.

kungfupannda Fri 09-Oct-15 11:18:52

yy get a throne. And a crown.

And a velvet cloak. And insist on being addressed as Your Most Gracious Royal High Emperor of the Birthday Universe whenever you are seated at your desk.

TheSwallowingHandmaiden Fri 09-Oct-15 11:19:19


kungfupannda Fri 09-Oct-15 11:19:33

For 4 mins on your birthday you can sit on it while she sings you Happy Birthday.

Or even better, every time you sit in the chair she has to sing Happy Birthday.

Fiderer Fri 09-Oct-15 11:25:48

Or even better, every time you sit in the chair she has to sing Happy Birthday.

In the language of your choice. Start with Hungarian.

TheFormidableMrsC Fri 09-Oct-15 11:26:35

YANBU. A gift for you should be something you want. My Ex-H once bought me an i-pod because he wanted one despite me saying about fifty times that I really didn't want one. So I bought him a lawnmower for Christmas.

Maybe that's why we're now divorced


cdtaylornats Fri 09-Oct-15 11:27:21

New Vacuum Cleaner for her birthday?

multivac Fri 09-Oct-15 11:35:15

I bought Mr multivac a fancy office chair for his birthday once. He hadn't had an office before, and we'd just got our first computer (cost about a grand, by the way, and had considerably less memory than my current phone). It made him very happy, and I still smile thinking of him gleefully spinning around on it and whooshing around the spare room using the wheels.

That said, SIBU, clearly. What does she have against socks, to go to such lengths?

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