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Today I am finished

(43 Posts)
brokenvases Thu 08-Oct-15 15:18:06

I have name changed. For the record I have always worked hard. From 17 to 30 I worked 50 hours mostly per week.
Then I chose what I thought was a better life by leaving abusive exh taking my dd with me.
DD has SN. As a result I have ended up self employed. I am heavy reliant on tax credits , tax credits which are about to be dramatically cut under the new changes or removed altogether as I don't meet the minimum floor level.

I would love a job out of the home again but so does every other Mum in my small area but i do apply.
I would love to work longer hours and would happily walk four miles each way into the nearest town to do so despite my own health issues. But where is the childcare for a thirteen year old who nearly set fire to the house trying to cook last week or who has panic attacks if left alone for five minutes.

So I'm faced with three options.
Survive on £20.70,a week child benefit plus small self employed earnings.
Send dd to live with her abusive father who has never worked so I can not end up homeless.
Put dd in care so she doesn't live in poverty and cost the state a whole lot more.

So yeah today I am finished.

SaveOurBogBrushes Thu 08-Oct-15 15:29:14

Gosh. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Don't have any advice so waiting for someone to come along but just didn't want you to wait for a reply and think no one cared.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 08-Oct-15 15:31:16

So sorry this is happening to you. Has you DD had any SS support? Have you gone into the SS department and told them that they have to give you a carer's assessment? Are you absolutely sure you have applied for every possible benefit that you and she might be entitled to? Have you had support to do this (as it's really hard to fill those bloody forms out for yourself)?

I'm sure you have but I just want to make sure that every base is covered.

Dontunderstand01 Thu 08-Oct-15 15:31:24

Please don't give up - your child needs you. You must be very strong to have been through all that you mentioned in your OP.

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 08-Oct-15 15:31:30

flowers
I don't know what to suggest or say but didn't want to read and run.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 08-Oct-15 15:32:10

BTW I'm a decade out of the system so I don't know what is currently available (a lot less from what I can tell).

Eveysdad Thu 08-Oct-15 15:32:39

£20.70per week?
I thought it was only working tax credits being cut so you should be able to get some Child Tax credits still? Unless you're earning 65k?
Then there's housing benefits, dependant on LHA in your area it should help pay rent. Then I'd seriously think about being self employed, if you're earning so little then I'd bust it and claim JSA, it may only be £74 ish per week but it would also make sure you're elligable for the other benefits. Theres are lots of hoops to jump through on JSA, signing on weekly, job hunts etc, but use these to your benefit until you find work where you don't need it anymore.

Above all else, don't be ashamed to ask for help, theres plenty of it out there and as the Govt are causing this it isn't you're fault. Use the safety nets provided, not to live in but as a support net.

tabulahrasa Thu 08-Oct-15 15:33:31

Does your DD not qualify for DLA?

Sirzy Thu 08-Oct-15 15:34:29

Does she not get DLA?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 08-Oct-15 15:36:11

Shit. On your behalf, shit.

As your dd has special needs, have you looked on the benefits websites to check you are getting all you are entitled to?

Is there a charity that puts you in touch with other families that have similar kids to your dd?

If so, could you do a child-care swap? You help out by having their dc for an evening. They reciprocate another evening.

or go to your GP and get signed off with stress

Sorry if all that is obvious, but I can't think of any other ways to help.

Schrodingersmum Thu 08-Oct-15 15:37:06

I really do feel your pain, our DD is educated from home due to health problems and it takes your whole life over
Have you checked you are claiming everything you can, DLA for your daughter, carers allowance for you? this should make other avenues open up if you are claiming tax benefits
There are charities around who may be able to offer respite which would give you a small break perhaps. Citizens advice may be able to advise more
I would also suggest posting in the special needs section where others can give you support flowers

JeffsanArsehole Thu 08-Oct-15 15:37:10

Why don't you meet the 'minimum floor level'?

There is no way that you can be left with so little money. You need to go through every step to get more plus asking social services for an assessment.

If you really have done everything then there's something wrong and you need to contact your MP.

Eveysdad Thu 08-Oct-15 15:40:01

My preferred benefits calculator:

www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/startcalc.aspx

thunderbird69 Thu 08-Oct-15 15:43:09

Echo what the others are saying about finding out what financial help you can get for DD. I know someone with a DD with SN and she tells me how difficult it is to get information on benefits/grants/respite care but it is out there!

Does she go to school? Would you be able to work during school hours?

What is your current self-emplyed work?

brokenvases Thu 08-Oct-15 15:48:32

I have just applied for dla for her. It has taken ten years for a diagnoses and I was wrongly some years ago told you couldn't claim without a diagnoses.

Jeff because I do not meet the floor level of nmw for the hours I work self employed.

brokenvases Thu 08-Oct-15 15:51:32

She is in school. I have to take her so I have from 8.30 till 3 inc travel by bus and walk. I have been desperately trying to find work for those hours. I will still do the self employed work.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Thu 08-Oct-15 15:53:06

I think you need to speak to some charities / advice organisations and get a clear picture of the full range of benefits you might be entitled to such as DLA.

roamer2 Thu 08-Oct-15 15:54:14

Write to your MP and make a fuss -even if they are conservative - in fact especially if they are conservative

tabulahrasa Thu 08-Oct-15 16:03:33

"It has taken ten years for a diagnoses and I was wrongly some years ago told you couldn't claim without a diagnoses."

Oh FFS, it's so frustrating when people are told things like that.

Shockers Thu 08-Oct-15 16:04:09

Glad to see you've applied for DLA for her. This means you will also be entitled to tax credits again. As others have said, look into carers' allowance if you're having to look for jobs with reduced hours because you have to work school hours only.

Good luck. We recently lost tax credits, child benefit and DLA... we queried it and it was a mistake!

thornrose Thu 08-Oct-15 16:07:19

I'm sorry OP. I have a 16 year old with SN, and I'm a lone parent. (Ex p died so no help there.)

We get DLA (soon to be converted to PIP) HB and tax credits, higher rate due to dd's disability.

I am really worried about the cuts come April. I have the same "childcare" issues as you. I am very lucky to have a school hours, term time job though.

You're not finished, you need to check out the major charity for your child's disability/SN and ask for advice. Any threads on SN board that could help?

brokenvases Thu 08-Oct-15 16:07:21

Does it not affect the child tax element?
I have thought about jacking the self employment in now rather than later. I make enough to manage with the level of tax credits I get but not without (some weeks £400 and some weeks nothing) but I'm guessing the job centre wouldn't be happy about me only being able to sign on between 9.30 and 2 by the time I had walked there and they have sanctioned someone I know for refusing to do training or work placement outside of school hours because of no childcare for a disabled child. It was overturned but took many weeks so honestly i am frightened of that route until I am absoloutely forced to do it to be honest.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Thu 08-Oct-15 16:23:43

OP have you read this document? It explains the changes and the NMW stuff. Have only skim read but it looks like only WTC is affected, not CTC. I don't know how much help that is to you?

The changes come into effect next April so you have time to make a plan. CAB might be able to offer some advice?

IsabellaofFrance Thu 08-Oct-15 16:23:48

Its a shit system OP, sorry that you are stuck in it.

I agree with PP, please go and see the CAB and see if there is anything that you could be claiming that you are not.

ihavenonameonhere Thu 08-Oct-15 16:35:20

I think you need to get proper advice from CAB or similar.

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