To wonder if it's the done thing to know the details of other people's salaries?

[Stanky]

I have a df from childhood, who has always slightly looked down her nose at me and my family. But it's always been fine, and just her personality.

But recently, she has a new dp who is very high up in his career. When we occasionally meet up, she feels the need to tell me his salary. But not just his, she seems to know and mentions everyone's! If she doesn't know for sure, she hazards a guess. That seems to be that person's defining feature for her. eg: So and so's sister must be earning at least 100k a year I would say, but her partner maybe only earns about 25k.

I haven't asked for this information. I just listen, nodding occasionally, to her talk about salaries, diamonds and designer handbags. I've never heard of these designers, and I don't know what she's talking about any more. I feel like I really can't relate to any of what she's saying, but I've known her so long that she's like family.

Have I missed something? Is this what rich people talk about all the time? I always thought that you weren't supposed to mention money?

I feel like Shrek in the swamp talking to that Harry Enfield character: We are considerably richer than yaaaou!

[BeetlebumShesAGun]

It's not a rich people thing. I think it is an insecure person thing. I know someone who tells anyone who will listen her "salary" she is clearly lying and asks everyone outright theirs. She thinks that by saying she earns a lot of money she is impressing people but everyone just finds it quite uncomfortable.

It has got her into trouble in the past as well as she has inflated her friends and relatives salary when talking to other people and when the relative found out he was annoyed.

She is lovely but it does come from wanting to impress people. She doesn't need to - she is kind hearted, has a good job she has worked hard for and people like her but for some reason she seems to feel she needs to over compensate.

She also does what you said - guesses other people's salaries. It's strange!

[ilovesooty]

Some people do it and I think it is rooted in insecurity, yes. There are posters on here who do it and seem to think it's normal.

[ProjectPerfect]

It's not a rich thing it's an insecurity thing.

[daisychain01]

..df from childhood, who has always slightly looked down her nose at me and my family. But it's always been fine, and just her personality

Looking down on people (you and your family) and placing a value on them because of how much is in their bank account .. fine? Really? everything you've described would make me want to run and hide from someone like that! Maybe I'm too picky. Even my bestest friend from school doesn't know my salary and I couldn't give a flying 4x what she earns.

[Cabrinha]

You lost me at her looking down her nose at you.
That's a "dear friend"?
I can't even opinionate on the salary thing.
I wouldn't still know her to care.
People who look down on me can fuck right off.

[Stanky]

Insecure. That does make a bit more sense to me now. Thanks.

[Stanky]

I love her, and I want her to be happy. I don't want her to feel like she has to impress me, or anyone else. But maybe it runs too deep for her to stop now.