To think I am not posh???

[LadyShirazz]

Our lodger has just informed me that I am "the poshest person he has ever met". Not in a nasty way at all, but at the same time in an entirely genuine one too.

Fair do's - I have the most plummy cut-glass accent imaginable which I hate. God only knows where I've acquired it from, as the rest of the family don't speak anything like this - I can only put it down to having moved around a lot as a child, and therefore never having picked up a particular accent. It's not even one of those "smooth as silk" Joanna Lumley accents either - think more the Queen with constipation (but also shit-faced, so lots of 'shits' and 'fucks' thrown in to the mix too...).

I do speak well and write well. I did go to Cambridge. I do work for a "big name" in The City that is a traditional haunt of the public school types many of them wankers - am new - that's another topic.

But, really, I come from true salt-of-the-earth stock. My mum is a Yorkshire farm lass, and my dad grew up in the slums (true sense of the word there) of the Black Country, and was the first person in his family to go to university (where he met my mum).

His choice of degree (engineering) has afforded the family until it went to shit a fairly "middle class" lifestyle, but certainly not a "posh" one. I went to Cambridge from a bog-standard comp on the basis of my grades (and a lot of hard work) - not my background. I only wish I had a trust fund, but am just working hard, alongside my OH, and caring for my elderly MIL - more or less like all the rest of us. We're okay financially, but by no means rich.

Anyway, surely - if we were that posh - we wouldn't be renting out our main bedroom of our two-bed flat to a lodger in the first place...???

I am definitely not taking this as an insult and am not offended - nor am I intending to cast aspersions on any one from any background at all.

AIBU though to not like assumptions being made on me or my background on the basis of my accent, when a) it's something I can't help and b) actually the very opposite is true...???

[LadyShirazz]

I have just seen lots of typos and mistakes in this post - too much wine - so no need to point out, just having said I write well! I mean when I need to!

[futureme]

Cambridge and working for a big name is statistically speaking only going to be a small subset of the population.

I think when you are surrounded by people in a similar position to yourself it is easy to forget/ not be aware what the rest of the world is like. (I was oxbridge but now live in an ex council estate. Most of the school mums didn't go to university and kids young... worlds apart. This is a world many ex oxbridge/big city people won't ever see.)

No idea if that makes you posh or not, but you could easily be the poshest person most people around here would ever have met.

[twirlypoo]

Do you have cans of pop with the bit of foil over the top in your fridge? Or diet coke?

[elQuintoConyo]

I too have a posh accent. Working class parents, 13 schools by the age of 10 (forces child). 3rd class degree from a third-rate ex-poly.

Don't know where the accent comes from, it is just flat and 'southern'. But people presume things. Idiots, I like to call them.

It's just pigeon holes people slip you into before they know anything about you, be it...

accent
ugg boots
tattoo
hairstyle
jeans+fleece
covered in cat hair
can ride a horse
watch Countdown
go to Starbuck

...ad infinitum!

[MsVestibule]

Just because you're the poshest person he's ever met, doesn't actually make you posh. Only in comparison to everybody else he's ever met.

People always make snap judgements on the way people speak, whether they speak with a broad, regional accent or one like yours. It's the way of the world.

[Cookingongas]

But he's not making any assumptions about you based on your accent or background. You may be the poshest person he's ever met. That could be fact.

Clearly you have negative associations of what posh is/means as though you say your not offended, the rest of the post indicates that you are.

[LadyShirazz]

Very few people (aside from recent colleagues - only been there a couple of months) I know are from that background - I distanced myself from it as soon as I graduated, never having really felt "at home" or enjoyed it in the first place...

You have a point, futureme, though about relative backgrounds and expectations - but I didn't grow up in the Oxbridge destined, public school bubble either. Just a "normal" one. My OH never went to university at all, and we live a very normal stressful life.

I don't eat crisps generally, but good old Walkers would do for me! And yes there's diet coke in my fridge... ;)

[sproketmx]

I would say that was posh. But then I think 99% of people on here are. I've never come across people like there are on here unless it's been an official type person in rl

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Stealth boast?

[LadyShirazz]

I don't have any negative connotations at all! I would love to be "truly" posh!

I just find it odd to be judged as such, only because of how I speak.

[LadyShirazz]

Stealth boast about what? Needing a lodger to pay my mortgage and both stuck working and caring for an elderly relative...??

[catfordbetty]

Sofa, settee or couch?

[Passmethecrisps]

No idea really but I did read your whole post as the queen straining for a poo. Does that help?

[Oysterbabe]

Definite boast, not that stealthy.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Accents and school I wasn't being really serious just slightly. I get the accent thing though. No idea where I got my almost English, incredibly posh accent from, when I'm from Scotland.

[Cookingongas]

But you don't know it's because if how you speak. Your making that assumption because you associate your accent with poshness ( from your own descriptive) posh isn't a fixed thing, what's "truly" posh exactly? A lot of what posh is is personal projection. I may think your posh. The person next to me may not. It's not so concrete as posh or not. ( and indeed salt of the earth type is equally as malleable a descriptive )

[thehypocritesoaf]

Do you insist on a butter dish?

I think you're posh because only a posh person would go to such detail about how their dad was the first in their family to go to uni blah blah.

I'd like to be the poshest person someone ever met. No ones said it to me.

[Nonnainglese]

I'm told I 'talk posh', I don't recognise my voice when it's recorded either!
I did have elocution lessons as a child because my mother didn't want me to sound like broad zummerzet....
Definitely not posh in anyway (although I have diet coke in the fridge)

[nilbyname]

Napkin or serviette?
What do you call the bit above your fire?

C'mon where are your posh credentials?!

[QueenLaBeefah]

You are posh. Posh accent, Cambridge and posh job. Why fight it?

[caroldecker]

Posh people don't boast like that, or go into detail about their background, only the fucking middle classes do that.

[SunshineAndShadows]

I understand OP. From a family of miners in a town where most people ended up reliant on substance abuse due to pit closures. Best friend was at private school (neighbour who had downsized due to struggling finances) so that influenced my 'local comp' accent. First in my (bloody hard working) family to university (Russell group down south) and professional qualification followed by years living overseas (where clear enunciation was necessary) and now back in UK I sound nothing like the rest of my family. In my head I'm still the Northern lass done good. I'm often asked 'where I went to school' etc as if it might be a 'known' institution (it wasn't!)

Most of my friends think my family have walked off the set of 'the full monty' and are surprised when they come to visit

[mewkins]

It has very little to do with you and more to do with him. I am from the east end of London but when I was at uni in Scotland I got comments about my 'posh accent'.

[Catonthematwiththehat]

I get told I'm posh because I basically sound it. I was brought up in Surrey but sound far posher than anyone else in my family, no idea why. I think I may have subconsciously over compensated when I started uni as everyone in my halls of residence was privately educated and I felt a little intimidated by this.

My accent has probably done me well in the working world, although my lack of self confidence has limited me.

Unfortunately I have been told I'm posh in a derogatory way because of my voice by others who assume I am. I find it bizarre.

My father was privately educated and rejected all privelgae to fight for the rights of others. My mum's family were working class. My views and those of my family are pretty left wing yet I find people try to insult me for being posh.

It baffles me too op although having had my apparent 'poshness' used against me, it is something I am accutely aware of!