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To feel 8 is an big boy and feel a bit wistful and worried

(8 Posts)
Purplesky2 Wed 30-Sep-15 07:07:38

Ds is very soon to be 8 and I am feeling a bit sad and wistful. I have been fine on all birthday up until now but I really feel that he is growing up now and I am going to start losing him but by bit. I don't even know what to do to help him with his independence he doesn't go out alone as we live in a pretty rough area in London. I take him to the park and he has free run there but not sure what else i can do. We are moving soon so he can have a bit more independence then.

Mehitabel6 Wed 30-Sep-15 07:19:44

If you are moving I would just wait. Enjoy each stage. If you give them roots and give them wings you never lose them.

Chottie Wed 30-Sep-15 07:22:56

Just enjoy every moment, 8 is still very young and he'll be with you for years to come.

my DS is in his 30s now, <sob> how did that happen?

goblinhat Wed 30-Sep-15 07:26:35

He is still vey young.
I have an 18 yo son about to go to NZ for a gap year.

cherrytree63 Wed 30-Sep-15 07:28:15

Aww Purple I really understand how you feel! My daughter was really fickle when she was younger, one moment she loved Barney, then it was Teletubbies, then Buzz Lightyear... My son was true to Thomas Tank for about five years. When he got to around 8 he decided he was too old for it, and sold all his Thomas stuff at a boot sale. My husband found me behind a tree bawling my eyes out because my son wasn't my baby any more. Even now, with my children 21 and 24, I still feel bereft of my babies ??

TheHouseOnTheLane Wed 30-Sep-15 07:43:22

I have an 11 year old and a 7 year old....I remember thinking "Eek! That's BIG!" when DD1 hit 6 or 7....now she's 11 I see that I was wrong.

8 is not big...it's very young OP. In fact mine are "small" until they are bigger than me.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter Wed 30-Sep-15 08:08:43

I can wear my 8 year old DS's socks and almost his shoes, he can run and cycle further and faster than me and I have to ask him to wait for me at the next junction if we do either of those things together... he really is a big boy grin

On the other hand I still have to remind him to blow his nose, and I still brush his hair in the morning grin

He's DC2 of 3 so I guess it puts him in perspective grin

My kids have loads of freedom in a way as we are very rural - 8 year old is allowed to ride his bike to the next village 2 miles away with his friends from down the road for example (its all proper German separated from the road wide, tarmac, well maintained and well used cycle paths though and no roads to cross), I wave him goodbye from the doorstep and he trots off to school and I next see him when he comes home (at lunch time). When he gets to school he often pops to the village shop before going in to spend pocket money on chewing gum or a pretzel - all allowed.

On the other hand my oldest DC just started secondary school and went from a village school with 80 pupils to a secondary with 1100 pupils, 180 in her school year alone, and is quite overwhelmed some days and not as streetwise or used to crowds as some of her town dwelling new peers. So whilst its good to give them independence you can't always prepare them for everything - different locations make different types of self reliance easier to come by, and covering all bases is difficult! Its a good thinkg to think about though.

Could you stand outside a small local shop and let him go in and buy a couple of items (bread, a comic, a bottle of water, sweets?) and after that let him do the shopping in a small "Metro" type city supermarket, if you live near those, with you wandering separately and meeting him at or just after the tills - those would be independent things he could do if your area feels too "rough" to let him go anywhere properly alone. School trips are also perfect for building independence of course, and sleep overs if he has nice friends and wants to... invite and you might get a return invite...

x2boys Wed 30-Sep-15 08:17:22

my ds1 is 8 nearly 9 we moved about six months ago to a family friendly estate where we lived before he never really had the opportunity toplay out now he does all the time he also loves going to the shop with his £1 and buying whatever he wants to buy.smile

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