AIBU to feel upset for my son

(150 Posts)
flissfloss65 Tue 29-Sep-15 09:36:53

My ex husband promised our son he would take him and step mum and their two children skiing early next year. In the end he said it was too expensive but would pay for him to go on school trip if there was one. Our son asked the school and they said they would let him know if one was organised. In the meantime ex has gone and booked a ski trip over Christmas for his family and another family and excluded our son. He even said there was a chalet available for 9 but thought our son would prefer to go with school. I said he would not and would be upset at not going with them and why hadn't he asked our son what he would prefer. Ex said it was his call and that was what he had decided.

I have kept out of all this as it's his holiday but I decided to just check about school trip as it's very late in day and they said there won't be one due to lack of numbers. So now our son has no holiday. Let the ex know the situation, I think he should have really made sure there was a trip before booking and excluding our son. I have left it with ex and haven't heard back. Hoping he can sort something out.

AIBU to feel so sad that our son has been left out? I think it's shitty behaviour on ex's part as our son was really excited about going with his dad and brother and sister. Ex just cannot see this.

Uptownfuckuup Tue 29-Sep-15 09:39:03

no you aren't
hes a prick

Gatehouse77 Tue 29-Sep-15 09:42:26

No YANBU.

Ex is being a wanker. Plain and simple.

StormyBlue Tue 29-Sep-15 09:42:36

shock That is horrible!

Surely this will be obvious to your son and he will resent him for this?

lunar1 Tue 29-Sep-15 09:45:33

Your ex is an absolute cunt, I'd be asking why his new children were so much more important.

Tootsiepops Tue 29-Sep-15 09:46:01

Gosh - that's incredibly mean of your ex. Your poor soon sad

flissfloss65 Tue 29-Sep-15 09:47:54

My son puts a brave front on as this has happened before, excluded from trip to Centre Parcs, from Euro Disney, although that time ex realised his mistake and took our son on a separate trip, just the two of them. I feel so crap for our son. A ski trip is a dream come true for him and I hate knowing this information and he doesn't yet.

nilbyname Tue 29-Sep-15 09:55:51

You're ex is a mean man.

I would lose my shit about this. I have no solutions but I am full of rage on your behalf!

Can you're ex be made to see the issue and amend his plans-

"Well there is no school trip so let me know the dates and what gear ds needs and I'll get on with borrowing some from his friends"

Be assumptive that as the school trip has fallen through he WILL be going with his dad.

Jessesbitch Tue 29-Sep-15 10:00:18

What an absolute cunt. Now your son will resent his two siblings. He should change the booking to include DS. I would tell him this.

DurhamDurham Tue 29-Sep-15 10:02:04

What a thoughtless git your ex is, he own't change but your son 's upset and disappointment may turn to anger towards his dad and his dad will only have himself to blame.

IsabellaofFrance Tue 29-Sep-15 10:02:08

I would be apoplectic with fury if anyone did this to any of my children.

MissingPanda Tue 29-Sep-15 10:04:13

Your ex is a wanker.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Tue 29-Sep-15 10:11:11

He is a total tosser. This is about room numbers. He'll have to pay for two places if he can't find someone to share with your son rather than looking for a chalet with a room that three kids could share in the first place.

What. A . Shit. Is there a huge age gap between the kids or something?

BoffinMum Tue 29-Sep-15 10:13:27

Send your son on a PGL ski trip?

Skiing and snowboarding for £995 a child

Justbatteringon Tue 29-Sep-15 10:15:03

He needs his head seen to what a prick. I agree with pp just tell him there is no school trip so he needs to add ds to travel plans no questions no excuses it needs to be done now.

molyholy Tue 29-Sep-15 10:16:12

That is so fucking mean. I would be absolutely raging. I have got the rage just reading it. Your poor son. Agree with PP who said just act on the assumption that your son will be going and act in this way. Ask him what are the dates so you can sort it all out etc.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Tue 29-Sep-15 10:19:26

Can you ski ? Is it financially an option to take him somewhere yourself? It can be done fairly cheaply [for skiing at any rate] and it's a fun holiday. You don't have to be part of a big group of people either.
www.rudechalets.com/ Morzine is v close to Geneva airport

Inlovewithflo Tue 29-Sep-15 10:21:57

Your poor DS. We go out of our way to make sure that DSD feels involved in everything we do!

I'm upset on your behalf, what a trick to pull.

GloGirl Tue 29-Sep-15 10:22:23

Another Mum here who is just CROSS.

I agree with being presumptive that of course DS will be joining their trip now and how much he is looking forward to it (don't tell your son that though!)

molyholy Tue 29-Sep-15 10:24:10

I don't think the point is the actual ski trip. The point is he was excited to go with his dad, his dad changed his mind about skiing as it was too expensive and offered to pay for school trip. School trip didn't happen, dad booked skiing anyway and excluded son. That is just cruel. Even if OP takes him instead of his 'd'f, the son will still feel excluded.

RonniePickering Tue 29-Sep-15 10:27:59

Ex is just a absolute twat, I'm afraid.

I feel sorry for your boy sad

BitchPeas Tue 29-Sep-15 10:28:13

DPs dad did exactly the same to him all through his childhood. Twenty years later and he still remembers!

It's a fucking awful way to behave and makes me furious just thinking about it. I'd lose my shit with ex if I were you, how much it would achieve I don't know!

RonniePickering Tue 29-Sep-15 10:28:31

an absolute twat.

Only1scoop Tue 29-Sep-15 10:28:47

Invites him then uninvites him as expensive and cancels trip.

Re books a trip and purposefully excludes him.

He was obviously lying in the first place. He didn't want to include his own son. School trip nothing to do with it. That was your ex get out clause.

Awful behaviour what a cruel man
It must hurt so sorry Op.

MascaraAndConverse Tue 29-Sep-15 10:30:17

That is horrible! sad Your poor DS.

he shouldn't have just assumed his DS didn't want to go. As fun as school trips/holidays are, they don't beat family ones. Not in my book anyway.

Is he going to book DS on to it?

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