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To talk to them, or will they think I'm odd?

(37 Posts)
Welshmaenad Mon 28-Sep-15 20:39:00

We live in a small quiet street in a rural village I am the resident crazy cat lady. I currently have four if my own but we have a number of drop ins that use my house as a hostel for disenfranchised felines. This is fine with me.

We've recently acquired a new visitor, who's stays seem to be getting longer and more frequent. He's a gorgeous little thing, looks part Bengal, probably only 8-9 months old and has palled up with my terminally stupid hand-reared boy.

For ages we weren't sure who he belonged to, he has sported a succession of attractive collars that he promptly ditches, but he's clearly a loved pet. The other day my husband spotted him in the window of the one house on the street who's occupants we don't really know.

I kind of want to go and say hi and explain that if they think their cat us missing, he's probably in my house. We aren't encouraging him to stay, but I frequently come home from a day out and find him cosied up on my sofa so he's making himself at home regardless, and if it was my cat id appreciate knowing where he'd disappeared to and that he was somewhere where people would be kind to him but weren't trying to steal him.

However my husband thinks I'm a bloody nutter and that if they let him out, they take their chances that he'll end up in other people's houses or off on a jolly. AIBU or U.S. Dh right and I've descended into madness?

CMOTDibbler Mon 28-Sep-15 20:43:05

I'd like to know if my cat was hanging out in someone elses house. But then people frequently come and tell me what my 3 have been up to, especially evilgingercat

Welshmaenad Mon 28-Sep-15 20:45:49

We lost our gorgeous ginger and white lad on the road a few years ago, and my sole comfort was all the neighbours coming round to express their shared grief, because he liked to spread his love around. One was an older lady who'd found him a huge comfort after being widowed and used to share her chicken dinner with him in a Sunday grin

KP86 Mon 28-Sep-15 20:47:25

I think you are kind to let them know where their cat is headed, especially if you are going to reassure them that it isn't causing you any grief while visiting.

Passmethecrisps Mon 28-Sep-15 20:47:58

I think it would be nice to pop and and say that he visits you. Should he ever go missing the owners will value having a place to start looking

OstentatiousBreastfeeder Mon 28-Sep-15 20:55:28

Yanbu, I'd love to know where my flirt of a cat disappears to. He always comes back smelling of perfume.

Might be a nice way to break the ice and meet these mystery neighbours too smile

Littlef00t Mon 28-Sep-15 21:47:26

Any idea if they would be upset with you for 'stealing' their cat? Some people would want you to turf it out if it got in, and do your best to stop it coming round.

wonkylegs Mon 28-Sep-15 21:52:16

The owners of the cat that practically lives in our garden (I think she likes the abundance of birds/mice/frogs to hunt) were glad to find out where she goes and everytime she does a proper disappearing act they phone to check if we've seen her.

HemanOrSheRa Mon 28-Sep-15 21:58:50

I would go and speak to them. I mostly know where my cat goes and what she gets up to. I get told or shown photographic evidence if she is being really naughty blush. But I have a suspicion she is visiting somewhere new and I'd really like to know.

TheOddity Mon 28-Sep-15 22:02:17

Definitely a good idea to at least reassure them you don't feed them, just let them chill out with your cats. And give them your number in casetheyneed the cat back!

grassisgreenersometimes Mon 28-Sep-15 22:07:44

I would definitely go and explain.

My cat kept going AWOL and I started to worry but then found out he was visiting a neighbour so if I dont see him for a couple of days I ring her to check that he is with her .. we sort of co-parent him now smile

TheCatsMother99 Mon 28-Sep-15 22:09:08

It might be nice to say hello and explain that their cat lets himself in your house at times so if he's ever 'lost' that they are free to knock on your door if need be. Definitely agree with others who've said
you need to stress that you don't encourage it or feed their cat though as they may feel as though you are trying to steal the cat (even though this isn't the case).

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Mon 28-Sep-15 22:21:50

Yanbu to pop round and explain, that you don't encourage him but he's buddies with your cats. I couldn't cope with a cat for the reason that they swan off on their own, but if I had one, I'd be grateful to know it was safe and to have a starting point if I was worried about him.

zzzzz Mon 28-Sep-15 22:22:55

I'd mention it in passing but please please don't shut it in with you.

herethereandeverywhere Mon 28-Sep-15 22:22:59

My parents did this. In the end the neighbour's cats moved in and they got Xmas cards saying thank you for looking after Catname1 and Catname2!

Doraydiego Mon 28-Sep-15 22:28:17

Mine also comes back smelling of perfume. Different perfumes, so I think he has more than one lady friend.

catfordbetty Mon 28-Sep-15 22:32:24

Certainly can't do any harm and might be a good way of getting to know a neighbour. Do it.

Welshmaenad Mon 28-Sep-15 22:32:38

I don't feed it as such but my cats are free fed on dry food so he is doubtless helping himself. I have stopped the DC giving it treats though, we don't know it's name so they have named it 'the Little Friend' and I keep explaining that it belongs to someone else!

ChilliAndMint Mon 28-Sep-15 22:33:11

Do what my DM did with one of her errant cats..tie a parcel label to it's collar with contact details.

Turned out he was lodging with students; making regular visits to podiatry clinic and volunteering as a companion for the postee,

Cat's get up to a lot more than you can ever imagine.

I have a lovely visitor; " Princess"; she likes to pinch bread from my bread bin and sprawl her gorgeous little bod on my Dc's patchwork quilt.

lavenderhoney Mon 28-Sep-15 22:49:44

I used to have a cat which popped round to a neighbours everyday. She showed me pics of my cat sleeping on her bed, lounging on her sofa, pawing at the window to come insmile

I didnt mind. I was glad she told me, via the medium of pics. She didn't speak English.

Jux Mon 28-Sep-15 22:50:44

There was a programme recently, The Secret Life of Cats, I think, which showed that there is no knowing where your cat goes when it's out.

I wouldn't approach them specifically for that, but if I found myself in conversation with them, then I might mention it if they spoke of him, but a asual "oh yes, he comes to visit us along with all the others". They might worry if you make a thing of it.

Wolfiefan Mon 28-Sep-15 22:55:33

We had a big ginger cat that came round every day when we lost our old girl. We now have kittens. He is proper pissed off!
He's not my cat. He's never come in my house. I have never fed him.
But apparently I belong to him!
Cat logic!

sproketmx Tue 29-Sep-15 00:04:33

I would speak to them. Apart from anything else they might appreciate it. One particular neighbour keeps feeding one of mine despite me telling her to stop it because this cats on a medicated diet for urinary tract disease but she won't listen. Old bat

MoonSandwich Tue 29-Sep-15 00:10:13

I'd speak to them. Then they can let you know if they prefer it if you actively discourage their cat from hanging around with you or if they don't mind.
I think you should try not to let it have any of your cats food.

Fatmomma99 Tue 29-Sep-15 00:36:06

I would never say anything negative to you, Welsh, because I love you; but I've seen threads on here about people being very upset because their much-loved pet is being (as they see it) "enticed" away, so I would say on behalf of those MN-ers, please do make clear to the owners that it's not you, it's the cat.

I love the fact you're nuts. It makes me appreciate you more!

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