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AIBU?

Prejudging about where you live

61 replies

FennyBridges · 20/09/2015 14:55

I live in a lovely village in the south west. I am fed up with people locally making judgements about it and about the people who live there. So what if it has a council estate? Some people have said that in such and such they are a bunch of inbreds. In such and such they are really rough. It's a beautiful village. It's not by the sea. We never grew up here but just loved being in the deep countryside with good roads to link to various towns and cities. We have a lovely house, far superior to any of these people saying this. Why would anyone be so rude as to slate my village? AIBU that people should just say positive things about where others choose to live?

It's totally getting on my nerves.

OP posts:

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wowfudge · 20/09/2015 14:58

Let it go - they are probably jealous and therefore dwelling on the possible negatives.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 20/09/2015 15:02

Well, some places are rough/undesirable places to live.

It is rude to comment on where someone lives in a negative fashion so it is probably best to say nothing at all rather than offering false positive comments.

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BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/09/2015 15:02

There are good, decent people all around us and there are arseholes on every street corner. And their post-code has nothing to do with it.

I live in one of the most deprived boroughs in the country but the estate is lovely and I have very good neighbours. I don't give a shit about what other people think about where I live. I suggest you do the same.

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FennyBridges · 20/09/2015 15:06

That's what I wondered and I clearly need to be less sensitive. Apparently 'loads' of local people think the same and "aspire to love south of the bypass". OMG is that an aspiration?!!! Deep down I'm trying to be sensible and not thinking that my sons will suffer prejudice and bullying at school (apparently common) because they attend an out of catchment school due to my work in the local towns. He isn't the only one. It's only 5 miles away but I find in rural communities you do tend to gravitate to the towns on occasion.

Why do people think they can pass comment? I always try to be so nice to people and I would never slate their villages.

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usual · 20/09/2015 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fatmomma99 · 20/09/2015 15:43

Do you live in Pagford?

(the town where "The Casual Vacancy" is set)

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FennyBridges · 20/09/2015 15:53

No, lol. No murders. It isn't quite as picture postcard as Pagford's posh bit and the estate isn't quite as extreme! On maternity leave I used to walk the pram around it and admire the garden borders and windows (! - I know, I'm weird) My house is in the oldest part. We are undoubtedly happy here and I wonder if some bizarre friends think they'll play devil's advocate if housing, prices, the seaside, or schools come up.

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sproketmx · 20/09/2015 15:59

In every case someone's undesirable is always another's desirable. If you were to look up my council estate village it would probably be classed as a sinkhole but I've lived here all my days, my kids dad's r here, my family and friends r here and I love it. Won't be leaving anytime soon even if it is rough.

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MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 16:05

We have a lovely house, far superior to any of these people saying this

How could you know this?

Of course they're rude but, realistically, there are several areas in my county that you couldn't pay me to live in, no matter how nice the houses.

In my County there's a definite East/West divide, with the West being the 'right' side to live on.

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Feckingfeckfeck · 20/09/2015 16:08

I live in the south west and I really really want to know where you're talking about!

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PacificDogwod · 20/09/2015 16:09

Yes, let it go.

We live in a naice village, right next to an even naicer village
Both villages have huge detached private houses and council estates and everything in-between.
When I tell people where we live I often get the 'What?!' response and the question why we don't move to Even Naicer Village - snobbishness, not actually different reality tbh.

I just smile sweetly, say how much I love where I live (and I do) and enjoy how much more house for my buck I got here

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MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 16:10

I'm also curious...where are you op?

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WaggleBee · 20/09/2015 16:12

It's not by the sea.

Bit puzzled as to relevance. Is not being by the sea a good thing? A bad thing? Or just setting the scene?

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TheSnowFairy · 20/09/2015 16:19

I grew up in Devon but moved east when I was older and have ALWAYS had the comments about inbreeding. I think people hear the Bristol accent and think anyone who lives further SW must be completely indecipherable!

I love the Devon accent, makes me feel at home

Yanbu to be irritated but get used to it...

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MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 16:19

Houses on the coast are generally more expensive so I'd imagine the op means it's seen as 'bad' to not live by the sea?

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Oldraver · 20/09/2015 16:28

I live in a fairly new, (well compared to the local area) military town and there is a very definite snobbiness about it.

If you look on houses for sale details of any of the lovely village round here they will wax lyrical about the market towns of here and there but will totally ignore the fact my town exists. The village that less a mile from me never mentions my town with all its amenities.

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TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 20/09/2015 16:38

YANBU. We live in South America now but we've lived all over the world and the amount of prejudice/generalisations people make is shocking, particularly about Cuba. It can get very annoying, especially when people have never visited, or only visited as a tourist.

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ivykaty44 · 20/09/2015 16:42

I want to know the village...?

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Egosumquisum · 20/09/2015 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 · 20/09/2015 16:53

I live in Cornwall and you should hear the inbred comments thrown around particularly by tourists. I wasn't born here but went to school in Wiltshire and then moved back to Berkshire. Now I'm in Cornwall I suppose I have a strange accent but I'm not inbred.. Admittedly Cornwall relies on tourism but people think because we live here we are from down ont farm or downt mines. If anyone else calls me pasty or ello Demelza I think I will scream!

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LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 20/09/2015 16:57

I am fed up with people locally making judgements about it and about the people who live there. So what if it has a council estate?

Well if they are making judgements based on the existence of a council estate alone then that would be very unreasonable indeed and they'd be horrible snobs, obviously.

But are they actually making judgements based on other things? Is it very scruffy in parts? Is it well known for having problems with anti-social behaviour and are the police there regularly? Do people move heaven and earth to get their children into a different school because the local one is considered 'bad' ?

You can live in the most idyllic countryside but if the neighbours are largely quite poor, the housing stock scruffy and there are lots of social problems then it's never going to be seen as a nice area, hence why you can afford a bigger better house than the people who prefer to stick to the nicer, more expensive areas. In the end you pays your money, you takes your choice. No point getting all defensive and angry about it.

How would you feel about your son attending the local school instead of an out of catchment one which I am going to assume is better performing with a less challenging demographic. ?

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LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 20/09/2015 17:00

And actually I am a regular visitor to a place in the UK which is famously the butt of jokes about the locals all being inbreeds, as DH's parents retired there.

I'll probably get flamed for this, but walking round the town centre you can sort of understand how and why these stereotypes came about….

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MinecraftWonder · 20/09/2015 17:01

I also think people are unlikely to judge an area 'just' because there's a council estate there. There are council houses pretty much everywhere now and it's more than likely judged for the reasons the pp said.

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WaggleBee · 20/09/2015 17:06

Ah I see Minecraft Thank you.

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SouthAmericanCuisine · 20/09/2015 17:06

In many rural counties, it can take several generations for a reputation to be lost, and that applies to estates and villages as much as anything else.

When i first moved to the area I live in, everyone I met "warned" me about a particular estate; advising me to avoid it at night, don't park there, etc etc. I'd lived in a really dodgy area of my Uni City so had assumed it was the same kind of place - burnt out cars, abandoned white goods, kids hanging so it on street corners. When I eventually realised that I'd been driving through this estate every morning, admiring the beautifully maintained gardens, I had to laugh. No boarded up windows or rusting mattresses in sight. It turns out, that the estate had been through a dodgy few years about 30 years previously, and the reputation has stuck!

As it happens, DH managed to buy a beautiful old farm property for a song on the boundary of the very same estate - because of the areas reputation it was £££ cheaper than the same kind of place would have been anywhere else!