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To think my son should be allowed home at weekends

(67 Posts)
Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 19:59:49

My son is in a residential college which shuts every other weekend. This means that the young people are expected to stay there for a weekend. My son doesn't wish to do this.

LemonPied Sat 19-Sep-15 20:01:12

Surely he and you knew this when he applied?

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:03:12

Yes we did but we didn't know that he was not going to get on with the other students in his accondomtion. It's a special needs college.

YouCant Sat 19-Sep-15 20:06:41

What do you mean by it shuts every other weekend? That there are no staff supporting he students on the shut weekend?

BloodyBellyJeans Sat 19-Sep-15 20:07:58

How old is he ?
Is there any way you can liaise with them and come to another agreement or do they have lessons at the weekend too ?

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:09:27

Well he gets to come home every other weekend. The weekend when the students are expected to stay they is staff.

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:09:54

No he doesn't have lessons at weekends.

pinkyredrose Sat 19-Sep-15 20:10:00

Surely he can come home if he wants, he's not in prison ffs..

aprilanne Sat 19-Sep-15 20:11:01

i thought these things were like school you could either stay or go home every weekend .i dont think they can make him if you are willing to do the transport i would ask if i were you .

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:12:56

No they want him to stay. If the la didn't have to pay fee's for the weekend then he could probably get transport home instead.

SurlyCue Sat 19-Sep-15 20:14:32

he is your child. like I said on another thread yesterday, the school don't get to decide when YOU take YOUR child home. if you want to collect him at 11am on Wednesday you can! just go and get him.

BloodyBellyJeans Sat 19-Sep-15 20:16:05

Schools only have to deliver so many hours of education a week
If you can get him home and back easily it shouldn't be a problem
I think this 'rule' is there because of funding
More residential students , more ££££

Puzzledandpissedoff Sat 19-Sep-15 20:16:39

OP I don't know how old your son is, but my own son went to such a college (though this one worked "school terms" with a break only every 6 weeks or so)

I'm wondering whether, when yours is "shut down", it's just the formal tutoring which stops, if you see what I mean - are the remaining staff supporting them with others things such as shopping, tidying their own rooms and other things that would be of value, perhaps?

MatildaTheCat Sat 19-Sep-15 20:20:00

Why not give it a term and see how it goes? I bet they do lots of social activities at the weekends and if he goes home he will miss out. These weekends haven't been arranged by some oversight, it's part of the educational/ social curriculum.

I say encourage your ds to participate and get the most out of the opportunity.

DixieNormas Sat 19-Sep-15 20:22:11

How old is he? Is it some sort of supported living for those with sn as well as education?

YouCant Sat 19-Sep-15 20:23:25

If he doesn't get on with certain students could you speak to the staff and see if they could introduce him to a new group of students? He can of course come home but if it is travel outside of what has been agreed in his budget then you would need to fund the costs yourself. That is pretty standard I believe. That said, the College might encourage him to stay for the weekends to enable him to continue to build his independence and manage his own free time rather than head straight home to be looked after?

I would speak to the staff and explain your concerns, you may need to be firm but I'm sure the College will have your son's best interests at heart

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:25:01

No these two weekends a month where they is no staff.

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:25:27

He doesn't get on with the students he lives with

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:27:53

The thing is I feel he had more independence at home then he dose at his college.

YouCant Sat 19-Sep-15 20:29:51

I think you need to speak to staff at the College. It feels like there is missing information here. A residential college would not have periods of time where they were completely unstated if they are supporting or housing vulnerable students. It may be that teaching staff do not work but residential support staff would still be on site supporting the students

Puzzledandpissedoff Sat 19-Sep-15 20:30:34

No these two weekends a month where they is no staff

Sorry, I'm unclear on what you mean about "no staff" ... is it actual teaching staff you're referring to? After all, if these young people have special needs (or even if they didn't, come to that) there must be some support there

Skyfullofstars76 Sat 19-Sep-15 20:32:53

No the college shuts two weekends a month where all students and staff are at him. the other two weekends are what they call residential weekends where all students are expected to stay and they are support workers in all the acomdation.

DixieNormas Sat 19-Sep-15 20:34:30

I took it that two weekends a month the students go home so there are no staff?

DixieNormas Sat 19-Sep-15 20:34:47

Ex post

Puzzledandpissedoff Sat 19-Sep-15 20:34:56

The thing is I feel he had more independence at home then he dose at his college

Can you tell us a bit more about what you mean here? Obviously I don't know your home situation, but generally young people develop more independence as they start their own lives away from the family home, rather than losing it; in fact that's exactly what most SN college try to encourage

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