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AIBU?

DH says I have to do more housework because I earn less money

275 replies

parrotsaremeh · 17/09/2015 20:27

Am I unreasonable for being angry about this?

I think housework contribution should be based on hours worked, not money earned.

We live in a more expensive area because he wanted to live near his work. This means I also have travel costs and need to commute one hour each way, every day. It also means I could not cover half of all bills with my salary. If we moved closer to my job to a cheaper area, I could pay half of the bills, but he refuses to do this.

It is true that he pays the vast majority of the bills because he earns five times what I do. However, I don't think the lower earner should become skivvy to the higher earner.

As a side note, he is a lot messier than me which makes it worse. This may sound quite trivial but I am thinking of leaving because it makes me feel so demeaned.

OP posts:

Report

parrotsaremeh · 17/09/2015 20:27

Ps: we both work the same amount of hours

OP posts:

Sunshineandsilverbirch · 17/09/2015 20:28

Did you laugh in his face?

Dexterwasright · 17/09/2015 20:28

And you married him, why?

IsabelleEberhardt · 17/09/2015 20:29

Yanbu. Wtf! Does he think you're his maid? What a knob.

parrotsaremeh · 17/09/2015 20:29

I did, Sunshine. There may have been a profane word, as well.

OP posts:

TheBoysMamma · 17/09/2015 20:29

YANBU at all

FannyFifer · 17/09/2015 20:30

He sounds like quite the catch.

Sunshineandsilverbirch · 17/09/2015 20:30

Sorry that wasn't helpful.

I might ask him to consider how much housework he'd have to do if he lived alone.

Skiptonlass · 17/09/2015 20:30

I'm with sunshine on this one.

Howls of laughter would greet this proclamation.

Then a bit of a chat on how the housework and childcare gets split equally.

If he wants a maid, he can fucking well pay for one!

DextersMistress · 17/09/2015 20:30

He sounds like a twat. Get him to hire a cleaner with his super dooper high wage.

Naicehamshop · 17/09/2015 20:31

WHAT????? What a complete moron. What century is he living in??

Pilgit · 17/09/2015 20:31

I sincerely hope this was a badly put joke. That's horrid! I agree with you - it's about time not wages earned. Have you told him you feel demeaned? Perhaps you should charge him for the housework you do....

SaveMeBarry · 17/09/2015 20:31

Eh, yanbu!! The words you're looking for are Go fuck yourself DH!

That's just not on op and I'd probably be reconsidering the relationship Faced with that attitude. Do you have children?

TeaAndNoSympathy · 17/09/2015 20:32

Gosh OP, no this is not trivial at all. This is really really unpleasant actually. And demeaning as you've said. Marriage should be a partnership not this totting up of who contributes what financially and then urging you to 'compensate' for the 'shortfall'.

He sounds like a twat.

Sunshineandsilverbirch · 17/09/2015 20:32

I think, I'd find a man that said such nonsense deeply, deeply unattractive.

Men who do their own ironing are very sexy.

DoJo · 17/09/2015 20:33

So, by his logic, if he worked 80 hours a week for minimum wage and you worked part-time but still earned more than him, he would genuinely still think it was fair for him to pick up the lion's share of the housework? Even if you wandered the house on your days off, strewing it with detritus in your wake? He is completely delusional and probably needs to realise that a relationship is a partnership, not a financial transaction!

gamerchick · 17/09/2015 20:34

Isn't the standard MN response is to get a cleaner?

Personally it would be the hard stare from me, gathering up all his stuff he leaves lying about and putting it in binbags down the side of his bed. Cheeky git.

Mintyy · 17/09/2015 20:34

What a charmer! Such a catch. If you don't have children I would extricate yourself without a backward glance. He sounds like a complete and utter bellend.

beardsrock · 17/09/2015 20:35

Fuck that.

I earn a third of what DH earns. We are both full time.

We just hired a cleaner, despite DH's protestations. I refuse to be a maid as well as a mother, wife and full time employee.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2015 20:35

Did you get angry and take it out on the ironing ?

BarbarianMum · 17/09/2015 20:35

Tell him to go f*ck himself. To you really want to be with a man who seems to have you confused with the maid.

AutumnAnne · 17/09/2015 20:36

I would get a little flat, in a cheaper area near your work and do as much or little housework as you like whilst saving two hours a day commuting. Leave him to sort out his own housework.

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BarbarianMum · 17/09/2015 20:36

Do you....

SepticSenga · 17/09/2015 20:36

If DH is out working hard providing for his family I don't think that he is bu to come home to a good home.

SepticSenga always polishes the Bed Knobs!!!

Varya · 17/09/2015 20:36

Sounds a bit old-fashioned. Has he ever heard of team-work?

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