WWYD- To consider plastic surgery

[Sayitagain90]

Hi,

I had to name change for this. This is not necessarily an AIBU, but more of 'What would you do', if you had the same issue as me.

To get started, I loathe my lips and my nose. I'm very nervous to undergo surgery for my nose, but may do this years later.

I hate the size of my lips, they are very big, yes biggish lips do look attractive on some people. But my lips are REALLY big, they have no shape, they look like two pieces of bananas that have been stuck on my mouth and my bottom lips hangs!

I am very self conscience of my lips, I did get teased a lot in primary school over them. But I NEVER take pictures of myself and I will beg my friends not to include me in their photo shots, as my lips ruin the picture. Honestly, I have only taken one picture of myself and DS and that's was when he was born. For the past 8 years, I have resorted to hiding my lips when I'm out in public, meaning I pressed my two lips together constantly and I have a bad habit of biting into them ( In hope I can take off some of the skin).

I'm not comfortable with talking to people who I don't really know well, as I'm worried that they are looking at my humongous lips. When people are rude to me, I try not to get rude back as I worry that they may use my size of my lips against me.

I'm 23 now and I'm considering looking to reduce the size of my lips. My friend sneakily took a picture of me some years ago and sent it to me a couple of days ago ( as a "omg look how much we've changed) and I literally wanted to vomit when I saw the picture of myself. My lips took over my face, it was just terrible. Though I'm not sure if I should consider surgery, I'm worried that reducing the size of my lips may change my whole facial appearance. Some people have told me that I am attractive, though I do not believe this, maybe they think I am because of my hair and my eyes. But I would like to take photos of DS and I and not having to worry what I look like in a picture.

I feel like my lips (and my nose) are effecting my daily life.

Don't know where to begin with researching as this procedure doesn't seem common as the majority of people get lips surgery to increase the size of them.

WWYD?

[Sayitagain90]

Forgot to add. I do not want my lips to be tiny! I would just like the surgeon to take off some of the skin, so it's still biggish in effect, but not OVERLY BIG that it takes over my face.

[annielouise]

Honestly don't do it. If your lips are natural leave them. I really don't know how a surgeon would operate on making lips smaller. It sounds like the kind of thing that would damage them and you risk things being worse. Boost your self confidence some other way. Truly, I'd avoid any surgery as it goes wrong so often.

[Snozberry]

Have you tried using makeup to reduce the appearance? People can do wonders with contouring I imagine there is a tutorial somewhere on the web. I apologise if this is a very obvious and already tried suggestion

[SlaggyIsland]

If a feature is causing you that much distress, and you can find a good, properly certified surgeon who is realistically positive about the results he can offer you, then I would say yes consider it. It sounds like your current appearance is causing you a lot of distress.

[psychicscam]

If you can afford it, and you genuinely think it will improve your quality of life, then have it, but counselling first would be a good idea.

It is very painful - am currently recuperating from a breast reduction - so I would say think hard.

[softhedgehog]

Get several opinions
Only use a surgeon who is a member of BAAPS
think about it
wait a few months
think about it some more

be very careful

[Sayitagain90]

annielouis Do you think reducing the size of big lips can damage them?!!!

I'm even more confused than ever.

[Sazzle41]

I think if its bothering you this much surgery might help but if you dont like your nose either its going to be very expensive to get both done. Like any surgery its cheaper abroad but I would prefer a reputable London clinic with UK after care myself. Just google UK Facial Lip surgery - here is just one in Harley Street: you can get payment plans too:
www.londonfacialplasticsurgery.co.uk/our-facilities/

Don't just google 'lips' by btw , you get results for surgery on 'lips' not of the facial kind!

[SlaggyIsland]

Sayitagain I think this is something you need to discuss with a qualified surgeon. As softhedgehog says, chose someone who is a member of BAAPS and do as much research about them as possible.
Be very wary about going to a large chain place such as Transform where the consultants are sales people not surgeons. A decent, ethical surgeon won't promise you anything unrealistic, won't operate if you are not a suitable candidate and will be very candid about potential side-effects and things that can go wrong.
Proceed with caution.

[MaidOfStars]

My immediate thoughts are that it would be quite straightforward. Incision on the inside of the lip, remove some tissue/fat, close gap.

That's what I'd do anyway. Disclaimer: I am in no way surgically qualified.

Anyway, if it's straightforward, I'd say go for it. You are genuinely suffering because of this. Why not?

[trappedinsuburbia]

Go and get a consultation with a proper person. I would imagine your lips could be done under local anesthetic just trimming off some of the skin on the inside of your mouth/lip then sewing back together, like a facelift. Obviously im no doctor but pay the extra and go somewhere reputable.

[trappedinsuburbia]

X post

[ShootTheMoon]

I would normally recommend trying everything to accept yourself as you are, but from your description I wonder if you might have 'incompetent lips'. I had similar along with an anterior open bite. Good orthodontics and jaw surgery has changed the shape of my face and my lips now rest naturally and easily. It may be worth having a consultation with a good orthodontist to find out what they might be able to achieve with orthodontics and/or surgery.

You do also need to train yourself to look at other features when looking at yourself - it's very easy to focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else.

[trappedinsuburbia]

I had some stuff done through the bmi group and was able to pay it up.

[RachelZoe]

MY DH is a plastic surgeon and I've had work myself, there are pros and cons obviously, with a good surgeon, the best you can afford who you see personally, not MYA etc, then amazing things can be done, but your expectations need to be realistic. I don't know if lip reduction is a common thing here, I've never heard DH talk about it but I assume it might be possible.

I would wait and see what you want to do about the lips before the nose, rhinoplasty changes your face so dramatically it's very risky. Also, with your nose, you can have fillers to reshape, I have had this done a little and it's great, no surgery needed.


Your best bet would be to look into surgeons (ones who operate independently, not the groups), call first and see if they do the procedure and if so then go for some consultations just to discuss things and what can they do etc, or go anyway and they can see. Compile a list of questions, insist on seeing examples of their work, ask for contact details of previous patients (some people have these volunteered, they don't obviously give anyones freely), do online research, get reviews etc, and ask who their anaesthesiologist is also and ask where they operate and check the hospital out etc, MRSA levels and all of that. There is lots of information online about what to ask.


Please though, if a good quality uk plastic surgeon says it can't be done, then it can't be done, I know there are overseas companies that offer some fantastical surgeries (or claim to offer them) like eye color change or similar silliness and these can obviously be extremely dangerous if not just outright scams.


I can try and answer any more questions you have, I know rather more about all of this than I should

[Muckogy]

i would go ahead with surgery on the nose.
do that first and then see how you feel.

i totally support your wish to reduce your lips.
but do remember that your lips will thin significantly as you get older and that process begins from when you're about 30.

i have very thin lips and have had to put with snide comments all my life.
i would kill for yours.
wish we could swap.

find a good surgeon and see what they say.

[Sayitagain90]

Thanks everyone for the advice. Do you think it will change the appearance of my face? I'm worried I may end up regretting it.

sazzle I've looked into Harley street, but you have to pay for their consultation, I was thinking of getting my lips done first and then a few years later, the nose.

[RachelZoe]

Also, just a word on Harley Street, there are some wonderful surgeons there, some of the best, but please remember, that all you have to be able to do to work on Harley Street is pay the rent, there are no special tests or qualifications, their address is no mark of quality. A lot of people will automatically go to H Street just because of the name, this is unwise. Each surgeon has their own style and principles, always shop about.

[RachelZoe]

Also, you will have to pay for most consultations, they're all private and a lot of people back out so they have to charge.

[AlpacaLypse]

A 'free' consultation is quite often the prelude to a sales pitch. I wouldn't let it put me off speaking to a reputable surgeon.

[Sayitagain90]

I'm scared to have surgery on my nose Muckogy as like Rachel said, it changes your facial appearance dramatically and plus I don't have an european nose. I have very wide nostrils and would like them to come in a bit.

shootthemoon I'll definitely look into that! I find that very hard to do as whack bam! my lips are just killing in the picture.

[Sayitagain90]

Rachel I did not know that! I'll definitely look into that if I find a surgeon through Harley street.

[MaidOfStars]

Sayit What's your ethnicity, if you don't mind me asking? (Tell me to Fuck Off if you do )

[Sayitagain90]

That's ok Maidofstarts . I'm african, which my features are quite common. But my mum doesn't have this and I have unfortunately inherited my dad's lips and nose.

[RachelZoe]

If you're just having your nostrils slimmed in then it might not be so dramatic, I think the bone breaking and resculpting is where the big changes come in but I'm not sure and DH isn't here to pester


If you want to see how much it can change a face, google "rhinoplasty before and after" and you can get a feel for what a nose job can do.


Nostril slimming is quite a common surgery, especially for people of non european descent, a friend of mine had a very fleshy and wide nose and had it reduced and she loves it, but it's a very personal decision.