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To think my 5yr old and her friend shouldn't be able to wander out of the class room and go wandering for 10 mins without her teacher noticing ?

(254 Posts)
ilooklikemrsploppy Thu 17-Sep-15 17:34:15

Background : I've took a bit of an instant dislike to DD's teacher but am trying my best not to be the psycho, over protective mother that teachers must come up against all the time. I find her very abrupt and stern for a P1 teacher. On the few occassions I've spoke with her she has also insisted on speaking to me as though I'm also 5 despite being 41. She's early 20's. I know DD can be a handful and is a mischevious wee minx given the opportunity.

Today DD met me at the school gates in floods of tears as her face had been moved down from the green zone (all is good in the world) into the red zone (you lose half your golden time on a Friday afternoon). She mumbled something about going to the toilet with her friend but I couldn't make sense of what she was saying. So I approached the teacher with DD hanging off one arm in floods of tears and DS hanging off the arm moaning about wanting to go home. I asked why her face had been moved and her teacher told me that DD and her friend had decided to leave the class room without asking and went for a wander. Her teacher said that she got a fright and was looking for them before they eventually appeared about 10 mins later. They'd gone to the loo. She said that it was obviously unacceptable for them to do this and she had to know where the pupils were at all times. In between two screaming/crying kids I couldn't think of everything I should have said but when I was driving I thought "how the fuck did they actually get out the class room without her noticing ?" I've been quizzing DS and he says sometimes the class room doors are open, sometimes closed depending on what the teacher is teaching at the time. DD was naughty but AIBU to think that two 5 yr olds shouldn't be able to sneak out a classroom. There was never any chance of them getting out of the building as there is a main door which is a security type door and the janitor sits there.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 17-Sep-15 17:38:56

There has to be trust. Schools ate prison, and class rules will state they need to ask first.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 17-Sep-15 17:39:15


Egosumquisum Thu 17-Sep-15 17:41:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

turningvioletviolet Thu 17-Sep-15 17:43:55

Eh?the teacher did notice though didn't she?
Entire blame on your 'wee minx' of a daughter. And perhaps you should have a bit more respect for the teacher.

CrohnicallyAspie Thu 17-Sep-15 17:44:09

So is the teacher supposed to stand by the door at all times? When would she get any teaching done? So long as the children can't get off the school site there has to be an element of trust- what if a child had been 'let out' to go to the toilet but then gone for a wander? How could that be prevented, especially if the teacher is on her own in the classroom.

Perhaps your Dd is the first to have done this, and the teacher felt she had to make an example so the other children didn't try it.

PlayingSolitaire Thu 17-Sep-15 17:44:18

Yes, YABU. Classrooms are big, there are 30ish children in there. At age 5 they are usually doing some kind of activity, the teacher is helping one group and wouldn't notice if a couple of children sneaked off on the other side of the room. The teacher did notice they had gone and the teacher took it very seriously that they had wandered off, hence being moved to red. Children have to follow rules and have to be trusted to do so otherwise the school doesn't work.

I would explain to your DD exactly why it's important the teacher knows where she is at all times Ie in case of a fire.

SingingSands Thu 17-Sep-15 17:46:14

Sounds like 2 wee pals being a bit naughty and seeing what they could get away with.
Your DD should know by now that she needs to ask her teacher if she wants to leave the classroom.
I suspect the reason for the floods of tears is because she knows she was in the wrong and is feeling bad about it, and is also feeling a bit sorry for herself.
I'd just chalk it up to experience. She's learnt a lesson today, give her a big hug and remind her to always tell an adult if she needs to leave the classroom.

Excited101 Thu 17-Sep-15 17:49:29

YADBU. Your daughter should (and does, I bet) know better at 5. There needs to be a level of expectation of behaviour from the students or they'd be treated like toddlers. I think your dislike of the teacher is clouding your judgement and it sounds like your daughter will perhaps benefit from some firm boundaries.

exLtEveDallas Thu 17-Sep-15 17:50:39

Classrooms aren't jail cells. They are busy, noisy and chaotic. Entire blame on your DD, sorry. I think maybe your knee-jerk dislike of the teacher has coloured your view.

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 17-Sep-15 17:51:28

Your daughter was naughty. The teacher didn't notice after ten minutes that they were gone, they came back after ten minutes and her looking. Sounds like you're looking for a way out to excuse your daughter's behaviour. Has she been in trouble with the teacher before now?

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Thu 17-Sep-15 17:54:50

Your wee minx needs to start behaving herself and you need to lose the attitude.

InimitableJeeves Thu 17-Sep-15 17:57:39

How could the teacher prevent them from getting out short of locking the door or doing all her teaching posted at the doorway? It has to be possible for children to open the door themselves for fairly obvious reasons, and even if it weren't there will be people coming in and out of the room all day which would give plenty of opportunities to slip out.

Euphemia Thu 17-Sep-15 18:00:48

Your frustration is directed at the wrong person.

LadyPenelope68 Thu 17-Sep-15 18:01:20

Of course they can get out the classroom door it's not a prison. Your daughter and her friend obviously decided to take themselves off to the toilet/whatever reason when they clearly shouldn't have done. Your "little minx" as you describe her is totally in the wrong.

abbieanders Thu 17-Sep-15 18:02:47

To be honest, a strict teacher sounds like just the one your daughter could do with.

ilooklikemrsploppy Thu 17-Sep-15 18:06:03

No doubt that Dr was naughty - as stated in the OP. And although I haven't instantly warmed to the teacher I've made it clear to Do that she is in charge in the classroom and is responsible for her. Don't think I have an attitude but accept that I'm probably expecting the teacher to have eyes in the back of her head.

LooksLikeImStuckHere Thu 17-Sep-15 18:07:37

Sorry, YABU.

hiccupgirl Thu 17-Sep-15 18:08:57


It is perfectly possible for 2 5 year olds to wander off to the toilet without asking especially if the door was left open. They should have asked as per the class rules and that is why the teacher came down hard on them. Even if they really needed to go and forgot to ask, the fact they were gone for 10 mins shows they were messing around as well.

I've taught 30 5 year olds and even with eyes in the back of your head and additional adults, kids can manage to get up to mischief if they are that way inclined. And the teacher does actually need to be teaching as well.

Pipbin Thu 17-Sep-15 18:10:14

Many teachers keep their classroom doors open. All it takes is for a teacher to be distracted by doing up a shoe, looking for a lost jumper or even teaching and it is easy for a child to wander off.

Lindy2 Thu 17-Sep-15 18:13:06

My DD did similar when she was in reception class. She was told off at school and by me. She didn't do it again.
Not once did it even cross my mind to blame the teacher. DD knew she was being naughty and was fully responsible for her behaviour. I expect your daughter knew it was wrong too.

Hulababy Thu 17-Sep-15 18:13:44

Impossible to man the doors and teach 30 children at the same time.
That's why we have rules, and the children are taught them from day 1. Even with a teacher and a TA in the classroom, it is impossible to always have an eye on the door and know if a child has left without asking. If the adults are working with a group, or another child, they will have their head down focusing on other parts of the room.

And the teacher DID notice - within a relatively short period of time.

RufusTheReindeer Thu 17-Sep-15 18:14:32


You've gone all reasonable ilook hmm

Want2bSupermum Thu 17-Sep-15 18:14:47

DD (PreK 3) did this last year and her teacher told me. I went nuts with DD and copied the picture of the class rules and displayed the rules at home. We went over them everyday for over a month and I have updated the class rules to the ones in her new class this year. Due to her age DD isn't allowed in the bathroom without a teacher. Also, had there been a fire or lockdown the teachers would not have known where she was.

Your DD is in the wrong and you should be far more supportive of the teacher who is 100% in the right. No parent let alone teacher can be expected to have eyes in the back of their head which is why they have class rules. It is extremely serious that your DD did not follow the rules and she should have told the teacher she was going to the bathroom.

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 17-Sep-15 18:15:10

I hope you have your daughter a proper talking to and hope that you stop referring to her as a minx. It's definitely a way to whitewash naughty behaviour with a cutesy word.

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