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Re: this letter I've had?

(211 Posts)
carelesswhisper1987 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:20:02

Posted here for traffic to understand 1. If I'm being unreasonable and 2. Suggestions going forward.

Been with partner 2.5 years, lived together for past 5 months. Always been a bit of friction with his mother in terms of her having sly digs - saying she's surprised I don't smoke, asking if my friends are chavvy , telling me how unfit I am (which admittedly I am) and just generally giving her unwanted opinion constantly... Don't think she likes me or approves. wink

I relocated to move in with partner, gave up flat, job, friends etc and now live in a city 80 miles from home. Very few people know my current address that also live in the same city - other than my partner, his parents and managers / HR at my new job.

I have received this letter through the post today (obviously cropped off my details). It had my full name and address on and is basically just a link to two weight loss sites. Letter also postmarked with county we live in - as do his parents. My friends and family live in another county...

I must confess my immediate thought was partners mother!

He is adamant it's junk mail... Has anyone ever come across anything remotely like this or have any suggestions? Doesn't look like junk mail to me.

Trying not to drip feed but there are so many stories about this woman I could tell you. All my friends have immediately said they think it is partner's mother that has sent it. I can't see who else (in the very small pool of people that know address and live in our county) would be so malicious!
Advice mum

JuJuMun69 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:23:33

Why did you give up so much for him? what about you? you relocated? why? what does he say about it?

fastdaytears Tue 15-Sep-15 23:24:11

I get a fair amount of junk mail but nothing like that. Sounds like someone you know to me.

JuJuMun69 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:24:50

I'd say he's not a person I'd want to associate with let alone his mother.

wasonthelist Tue 15-Sep-15 23:25:22

No idea if YABU but his mother sounds like a lamentable excuse for a Mother and a person sad

wasonthelist Tue 15-Sep-15 23:27:08

Send her a self help book on how to overcome being a git?

carelesswhisper1987 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:27:18

Sorry, making point of the fact I've relocated relatively recently and know few people in this area - therefore it limits it to the very small group of people I mentioned.

He just insists it must be junk mail and he is going to contact the telephone number on the letter and ask where they got my details from. Even if I suspected it was junk mail I don't think that would work as the two companies appear to be unrelated.

Guess I'm just clutching at straws. I've told him I suspect it's his mother and we have had a row about it sad

JuJuMun69 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:27:22

Is it a "poor him" thing, does he deny? why on earth are you with him?

JuJuMun69 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:29:16

A row about it? why would you be with someone where you even had to even go there?

HelenaDove Tue 15-Sep-15 23:29:43

Tell her as your weight is so important you will make sure to do everything to keep it down including not getting pregnant so no grandchildren from you to add to the family grin

carelesswhisper1987 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:30:04

Sorry JuJu I don't understand your post?

Meant to add.. The AIBU is whether I am BU to accuse his mother?

AllChangeLife Tue 15-Sep-15 23:30:32

I'd be pretty sure that isn't just junk mail. Junk mail tends to have a point and I can't see the point of that, not least because it shows 2 different companies.

I'd be thinking it was her as well.

I might try and trick her into admitting it - by saying in a happy tone of voice "oh, have you heard good things about weller associates or diet chef then?" and see what she says.

but that is me.

wasonthelist Tue 15-Sep-15 23:31:05

* ....he is going to contact the telephone number on the letter and ask where they got my details from..*
And if they say "your Mum" - will he tell you? Or make something up? Doesn't sound as if he's ready to consider it might be his Mum.

plonkie Tue 15-Sep-15 23:40:41

No, that is a bit fucking weird. As pp has said, it looks like it's two separate companies so I would doubt that it's junk mail.

She sounds like a nightmare and I'd be suspicious that it's her too!

Hygge Tue 15-Sep-15 23:41:46

I take it from the photo that it's just a plain piece of paper with your name and address and the information we can see typed on it.

So contacting either company will do no good. Unless it was on letterhead paper, anybody could have typed all that on a plain piece of paper and posted it to you.

It doesn't look like normal junk mail to me.

Fatmomma99 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:42:18

I think JuJu was saying that she was shock that your OH would be upset enough that you consider this might be his mother to row with you about it, which is what others are also saying.

You sound quite isolated, and not getting the support from your OH that you need, and I think this is what other posters are saying too.

Is that the case?

I think PPs are more concerned about that than whether or not your potential MIL sent you a nasty anonymous letter (possibly sent with good intentions to make you healthier). Is she an exercise addict with a fantastic body?

I'm wondering this (and sorry if it's inappropriate) (of course, you don't have to answer) How fit is your OH? IS your weight a cause for concern? I'm asking this with a very big fat belly which I'm on a mission to try to reduce somewhat, so I'm asking the questions with this in mind.
Basically, do YOU think you need to lose weight/get fitter?

GiddyGiddyGoat Tue 15-Sep-15 23:43:56

Are you sure it's not your partner op?!

sproketmx Tue 15-Sep-15 23:45:54

Looks like junk mail to me tbh. So much so that if it came thru my door I wouldn't have even given it enough look to realise that it had my details on it. Companies get your details by all means, capital one keep sending me stuff with my name and address on it telling me that I now qualify fir their platinum credit card... I don't even have a bank account. That's before all the crap telling me I'm entitled to thousands for an accident I've never had or that my dyson is due a service

amarmai Tue 15-Sep-15 23:46:36

i'd do the checking myself. he is soo defensive i doubt he'll tell you if it's her.

maddening Tue 15-Sep-15 23:47:01

could you cryptically yet casually say to his mother that you got her letter - in person to guage her response?

arethereanyleftatall Tue 15-Sep-15 23:50:14

Juju - are you on the right thread? What has the dp done wrong?

TRexingInAsda Tue 15-Sep-15 23:52:24

It's not junk mail - it's not a random advert mass letter-boxed, it's got your name and address on, and it's two different companies mentioned on there! That's not an advert, it's a very deliberate, directed suggestion to you personally. Your oh is an idiot if he can't see that! Yanbu to think it's his mum - you have to have an unusual kind of personality and a certain fixation to do this, and from what you say, she fits the bill.

BitOfFun Tue 15-Sep-15 23:56:07

Is that ALL the letter says? It doesn't look like junk mail to me. Is it a print-out from a home computer?

lorelei9 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:56:55

Not only do I think it's his mother...I think if you ask her, she will admit it.

WicksEnd Tue 15-Sep-15 23:57:59

What was the envelope like? Did it have an actual stamp on it?
<sorry if you've mentioned this I am skim reading and knackered) or is it franked?

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