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Why do some people assume you are trying to loose weight if you go to the gym?

(18 Posts)
Apartridgeamongstthepidgeons Tue 15-Sep-15 20:39:08

Hi, regular who name changed due to forgotten password and old email account.

I go to the gym on average about twice a week reasons for going are:
A) I enjoy it
B) I have mental health problems and exercise helps keep my mood balanced
C)To maintain my figure, I like my food so try and counteract this with exercise.

I go in the mornings after I have dropped the kids off at school so I'm in my gym gear a couple of times a week, but the comments I get from some people are starting to get me down.

I get "are you off to the gym AGAIN?"
"You don't need to loose weight " and other similar comments, I then feel like I need to explain myself.

I am slim but I'm not skinny all within healthy BMI etc..

Does anyone else get this, or am I being too sensitive?

PS The reason I go in my gym gear and not get changed at the gym is that I don't drive and don't want to be lugging a heavy bag around with a change of clothes, although I am contemplating doing this just to stop people commenting.

FarFromAnyRoad Tue 15-Sep-15 20:45:22

I couldn't get worked up about this - it's a total non-thing. If you want to exercise for your mental health or to lose weight that's up to you. Why do you give a shit what anyone else says? There's no shame in going to the gym to lose weight is there?

What is it with all the gym/exercise/sawna (sic)/food threads at the moment?

bigbluebus Tue 15-Sep-15 20:46:12

I used to get that too, when I similarly did the school run in my gym kit.
I used to reply that the reason I didn't need to lose weight was because I go to the gym - and that if I stopped going to the gym then I would definitely need to lose weight very soon.
Just ignore them OP and carry on with your routine. You won't be at the school gate forever.

TurnOffTheTv Tue 15-Sep-15 20:46:46

Too sensitive! I couldn't give two hoots.

godsavethequeeeen Tue 15-Sep-15 20:48:50

I hear this occasionally. I'm slim but like you I struggle with depression so have to keep active. Exercise slows muscle loss as I get older, keeps my heart healthy and keeps middle aged spread in check. I have to be dying to miss a session.

Tartanbeachhut Tue 15-Sep-15 21:34:39

It's just tired in the morning school mum chit chat talk, they want to acknowledge your presence, feel bad for not going to the gym themselves, want to say something more interesting than a simple hello.

redexpat Tue 15-Sep-15 21:48:03

It's because gyms are sold to us as 'what you do when you need or want to lose weight'. Never as 'something that you might enjoy' or 'something that makes you feel good' or 'a place where you can focus on you and you alone'.

Comments are meant to be harmless but I would find it tiresome after a while too, particularly given point number 2.

redredblue Tue 15-Sep-15 22:16:14

I was at the gym one day and the personal trainer started talking to me, asking what I was hoping to achieve and what my goals were. And I simply said 'to be healthy' he looked at me like I had 2 heads!
It's not like I needed to lose weight, my bmi is 20.

Apartridgeamongstthepidgeons Tue 15-Sep-15 22:19:22

Thanks for the replies smile

I get that some people are just making friendly chit chat, but I had it all of the last school year and it's started back up again now the kids are back at school. There are a couple of people that make a point of saying something every time and it just grates on me, there's always this insinuation that I don't need to loose anymore weight, comments like you will waste away and such like confused I just don't know what to say back? Any witty replies you can think of would be welcome!

MajesticWhine Tue 15-Sep-15 22:27:20

As someone else said, it is most likely that they feel bad about not going themselves, or anxious about their own weight. People who are slim and healthy attract these kinds of comments. Just like people not drinking makes some people anxious. You don't need to explain yourself.

MaidOfStars Tue 15-Sep-15 22:37:29

I reckon....big drumroll....that a lot of people use the gym to exercise to lose weight.

sproketmx Tue 15-Sep-15 23:53:12

Most people probably think they because the most common reason to go to the gym is to lose weight. Look at it another way.... you could be going to the supermarket to buy a tv but most people would assume you are going for groceries because that's why most people go

Fatmomma99 Tue 15-Sep-15 23:58:03

Are the people who make comments generally bigger than you? In which case they are projecting/jealous.

Reaction = BIG SMILE "no, I go because I have the time to and I enjoy it".

p.s. I wish I had your problem!!!! (not the MH issue, obviously!)

redexpat Wed 16-Sep-15 06:41:34

Good comeback? How is my weight any of your business? with a paddington style hard stare.

Spartans Wed 16-Sep-15 07:08:39

Most people join gyms with the aim to at least lose a little weight. You go to maintain your figure it's not all that different really.

My response when people ask if I need to go so much is usually ' I don't need to go, I enjoy going' or if they say 'you don't need to lose weight' I say 'that's not why I go'. I don't add anything else on to it. I usually do the morning school run after the gym so am usually still rosy cheeked and in my gear.

Lots of men and women at my ds' school are there in gym style gear, it's not that unusual for people o go running or the gym after dropping the kids off, or to just wear comfy clothes on the school run. I often were gym wear when I am not going anywhere near the gym. Is it unusual where you live?

The fact that you go twice a week and someone is saying this, says more about how they feel about themselves than what they think of you. Not saying twice a week is nothing but it's not like you are there excessively.

MelanieCheeks Wed 16-Sep-15 07:16:44

Just smile/ laugh as if it was a joke.

Or say "I'm training for a marathon". Or just "I'm following a training programme."

But yes, I agree you're reading too much into their response.

LobsterQuadrille Wed 16-Sep-15 07:21:12

If it's always the same people making the comments, it's become a sort of "lazy habit" comment for them and they migrate to it for something easy to say. I used to work with someone who was in a completely different department and I only saw him sporadically. I have a hyphenated first name and am always known by this, and every single time I saw him, he would say "Hello Lobster-Quadrille. Do I really have to call you by both names?" After five years he was still doing it! It drove me mad but it was harmless enough - a kind of reflex action. Your people see "partridge in gym gear" and their brain clicks: "ah, make comment on partridge in gym gear". I would make exactly the same response each time and maybe something will click for them.

Casimir Wed 16-Sep-15 07:25:53

Totally agree with your take on this. The whole minding other peoples business thing, where it is considered rude to to say F you and the fat horse you rode in on. The best I have is 'do you have a problem with that'. Whilst smiling of course.

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