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to think it's ridiculous to carry an 8 year old?

(7 Posts)
FishFace99 Mon 14-Sep-15 23:10:57

DD is 8 and her father and I are separated. She weighs almost 4 stones and is 130cm tall yet exH still gives her shoulder rides and carries her when she demands it. She's started kicking off when he returns her from contact on alternate Sundays saying she wants to stay there one more night. She knows she's coming home to reading, spellings, homework, bath and a normal bedtime whereas at his she is pandered to and does as she likes.

ExH carries her to the door on a Sunday and I've told him this is ridiculous IMO and encouraging her to be upset which isn't fair on her. Hessays carrying small children is normal. Aibu?

Griphook Mon 14-Sep-15 23:16:33

I would think that dad should be helping dd with a least one set of homework, either spellings or readings, really not fair on her or you to do them all on a Sunday

LyndaNotLinda Mon 14-Sep-15 23:18:43

What Grip says. If he has her on alternate weekends, he supervises homework on alternate weekends.

If he wants to carry her that's his prerogative. Although that's how I slipped a disc

Fatmomma99 Tue 15-Sep-15 00:20:30

I wish my nearly 14 year old would still let me carry her - it's a good way to get snuggles and she used to kiss me when I did it.

I think this is a thread about parenting responsibilities, not carrying. He (as PPs are saying) is being the "fun" parent and leaving you with the crap.

Actually, I think that's a strategy which will come back to bite the "fun" parent in the long term, because kids WILL look back and realize who was really 'there' for them, and what actually mattered. But that doesn't help on a Sunday night when they're knacked from all the fun and you are brandishing spellings under their nose.

Can you talk to your ex about what he needs to do over a weekend? And if he refuses, then at least you tried. And you'll have to play the long game and hope she realizes in the future. But the long game is hard! flowers

zzzzz Tue 15-Sep-15 00:30:41

nah dh still carries all of mine on and off. I just say Mummy doesn't do that because I can't they are too heavy for me. Why is this a problem?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 15-Sep-15 00:34:50

I don't think it's a problem so long as he can still manage it. My Dad used to give me piggy backs until 8 or 9, when I got too heavy for him.

Are you bothered because it's something you can't do for her, or is it, to you, all part and parcel of the "pandering"?

TheHouseOnTheLane Tue 15-Sep-15 00:41:21

My DH carries our 7 and a half year old sometimes. She knows I can''s nice in my opinion.

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