Of course, there will be a small amount of men with deep emotional problems but on the whole, we're lying to ourselves and I want to know why?!.
I've done it myself - had a relationship or a shorter encounter where they withdraw or act badly and I excuse it by thinking they have a fear of closeness etc.
There are threads on here ALL the time with the same story. ' I met someone, felt a real connection and he did too - told me he hadn't felt like this before, was worried he'd be hurt, thought I was fab etc and we slept together (one night or a few weeks) and he changed - ended it, blocked me on social media, is going out with someone else now'.
And often, we don't think he was a player or spun a line to get us in bed. We make threads about our confusion, I'm SURE he had feelings for me so I'm confused. And some replies will say move on, he's a player and some will say he probably does have feelings for you and is scared'. But yet, has chosen to treat you badly because that's how men treat women they like- to push them away.
Why do we do this?. Why do we torture ourselves with the idea that we were somehow so wonderful that we scared them away or they would be willing to go through life without us because the 'feelings' they felt with us were too much.
As much as I dislike that kind of book - 'he's just not that into you' is true. A man who really wanted to spend time with you and be in a relationship with you wouldn't let anything stop him - as long as you want to be with him too.
I can't think of any relationship (or not wanting to pursue a ons or fling) that I haven't continued with because I thought the man was better than me or I feared an emotional connection.
I can't think of any of my numerous male friends that have done the same. They've ended it because they just weren't that interested.
I have never known a female friend push away a potential relationship because she didn't feel good enough or feared intimacy. And haven't known a male friend do it either so why do we con ourselves?.
AIBU?
As women we con ourselves that men fear intimacy/emotional involvement/think they're not good enough for us.
Icouldbesogoodforyou · 12/09/2015 18:10
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