to think that if one wanted to start a fascist coup, one could do worse than recruit ballet teachers as your storm troops?

(38 Posts)
grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:22:21

They rejoice in rules and uniforms, require obedient submission at all times, delight in putting on massive nuremberg rallies end of year performances of merciless duration, are not afraid of wielding the threat of punishment and exclusion at the first sign of a recalcitrant and are always seeking after the perfect master race body type.

(Can you tell that I have already been presented with a ridiculous rehearsal schedule and costume bill for the effin' nutcracker?)

squidgyapple Fri 11-Sep-15 16:28:36

Agree and am smugly pleased that dd has now quit ballet. grin

stareatthetvscreen Fri 11-Sep-15 16:28:41

you are not wrong.its the pulled in tightly buns too i think

look out for groups of them together i say - be wary

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:31:56

with mine would quite but all 3 of them love it (the little brainwashed traitors)

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:32:14

sorry "wish", not "with"

howabout Fri 11-Sep-15 16:34:36

YANBU and yet mothers of 3 year old dds all over the land flock to them.

MuddlingMackem Fri 11-Sep-15 16:35:30

Suddenly I now feel grateful for DD's ballet teacher. She expects them to take it reasonably seriously but mostly wants them to enjoy it. And they only do a show every couple of years. [smug] grin

Although to be fair, DD is only in the Y3&4 class. They might be expected to show more dedication when they're a little older. smile

Lipsiensis Fri 11-Sep-15 16:35:45

grin at Nuremburg rallies.

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:41:40

Lucky you Muddling. Sadly all of the schools in our area seem to go for this kind of crazed intensity. One of the teachers at our school even affects a Russian name, when I know full well she grew up in Wales......

vpillow Fri 11-Sep-15 16:43:24

Ha! My dh would identify with this. I found out only recently he ruined our now-adult dd's future career at Sadlers Wells by telling her 'you looked like a little elephant in there'.

She became a talented sportswoman, which was much more to his taste, and didn't involve quite so much of the angst you outline, OP.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 11-Sep-15 16:44:18

Ballet teachers hate DD. They try to cover it up with forced smiles and 'gentle hands' but they hate her. She is the Resistance to ballet.

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:47:45

haha vpillow I like your dh's approach. Mine are definitely amongst the elephants thundering in circles around the leggy giraffes who always get the starring parts. Luckily at the moment they don't seem to be competitive about it but I am trying to find ways of puncturing their enthusiasm before they are old enough to notice and be bothered by the blatantly body fascist casting.

Annaliesey Fri 11-Sep-15 16:48:04

Hahahaha feel your pain smile

Love the Russian teacher who grew up in Wales

I don't quite know how but I've ended up being costume mistress after grumbling about costs so for gods sake keep your mouth shut or you'll be glue sticking sparkles from now until eternity smile

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 16:49:55

oh my god Annaliesey - the horror!!

AuntieStella Fri 11-Sep-15 17:12:35

I think they'd do pretty well as stormtroopers.

Not least given the attitude to chemical warfare, expressed by choking clouds of hairspray. And cruel and unusual torments, ie pointe shoes.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Fri 11-Sep-15 17:17:45

Oh yes. Generations of little girls were scarred by the one that taught me. Evil old bitch - kept being surprised when kids quit. I lasted until I was about 8 and then plucked up the courage to tell Mum I hated her. Sad thing was I liked ballet!

Andrewofgg Fri 11-Sep-15 17:20:33

grimupnorthLondon Oh yes. One of DW's nieces has gone into that line of work and I will watch her change into what you describe.

balletgirlmum Fri 11-Sep-15 17:27:56

Dd has never had that sort of teacher - although now she's in year 9 things are getting stricter.

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 17:55:36

Glad there are some nice teachers out there. Why is that ballet attracts the crazed fanatics though in a way you don't tend to see with the people teaching swimming or leading the Brownies?

Sunshineandsilverbirch Fri 11-Sep-15 18:06:20

My daughter's dance teachers are all very nice but as a child I (and all the other children) were totally convinced that my first ballet teacher was a witch. All the parents were terrified of her too.

Hygellig Fri 11-Sep-15 18:43:09

My son recently started ballet (he wanted to have lessons after reading a book called Dogs Don't Do Ballet). His teacher seems OK but it's hard to tell as parents aren't allowed to watch the lessons. You must have to have some degree of strictness to work with young children but not so much that you put them off.

I think he joined the classes too late to be in this year's show, but I couldn't believe the £40 price for one costume! They also do three consecutive evening performances, two on schooldays - the children will be exhausted.

I just have a horrible feeling that now I've paid for some shoes and a block of lessons he's going to decide it's not for boys and not want to go anymore.

MiaowTheCat Fri 11-Sep-15 18:44:57

DD1 is one of the three year olds who's just flocked to start dancing - and she loves the ballet part of her lessons (ie running around like a fairy princess) much more than the tap part (hell IS a room of three year olds going ballistic in tap shoes). Her teachers are lovely though at the moment - really nice and caring towards the girls.

It's the swimming teachers that I find terrifying around here - especially the ones doing the school lessons - lesson 1 of which seems to be a masterclass in "things we hate and 101 horror stories about kids getting injured in the pool"

(I'm shit at buns - how the fuck are you meant to do them on the world's finest, straggliest haired child ever - poor kid gets it from me)

cocobean2805 Fri 11-Sep-15 19:50:43

My dad is still slightly miffed that I did ballet for a number of years instead of something"outside ". He was mildly sated that my Dsis did horseriding. We had a conversation about it the other week.

I believe his words were something like" bloody years of ferrying you round with sparkly costumes and psychotic mothers screeching about why little such-and-such wasn't on the front line of the chorus! Why do you think I dropped you off and sat in the car reading the paper!?" grin

grimupnorthLondon Fri 11-Sep-15 20:06:41

Haha coco my DH feels the same - he does the taxi-service (buns and leotards sorted by me before they leave) and waits with his paper in the car. In return he gets let off sitting through the shows - the 3 minutes when any of ours are on stage he could handle but the 4 hours of tittering teenagers and the galumphing "grown-ups" all jazz hands, sequinned tail coats and dropped canes are excruciating.

I totally respect by the way the right of any adults to study dance and good for them for doing it but to expect hundreds of people to sit through hours of watching them because they have little ones in the show can be a bit much. And when they bring out the token adult male in tights to partner the "star" ballerina in the finale it can be tricky to keep a straight face (especially since my friends and I now have a "wine-handbag" routine well sorted for ballet shows)

MuddlingMackem Fri 11-Sep-15 23:09:52

MiaowTheCat Fri 11-Sep-15 18:44:57

> > > (I'm shit at buns - how the fuck are you meant to do them on the world's finest, straggliest haired child ever - poor kid gets it from me) < < <

Check your local pound shops. One of ours stocks these marvelous snappy bun things. They're like two of those snap bracelets joined by material, you sandwich the hair and roll it up, then roll the bands closed. Et voila! A bun! You might need to capture the stray bits of hair with a chunky scrunchie though or a ton of hairspray. DD also has fine hair, with a sprinkling of curls, so I feel your pain.

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