Shock me...(23 Posts)
Would someone please say something to shock me out of this complete rut / hole I'm in.
I've had a shit year. Am a single Mum to a super little DS, but am quite down atm.
My only enjoyment seems to come from stuffing my face with crisps and wine, come 6pm.
Every morning I say I'll have a better day. A day off the wine and crap food. And every day I fail.
I've put on 2 effing stone in the last year alone. I look and feel bloated and disgusting. I have no motivation or get up and go. And I'm terrified that my drinking and general poor quality of life is going to make me ill - and take me away from DS prematurely.
I know the facts and the stats. I know what I should be doing - but can't seem to actually do it.
Any advice? Shock tactics welcome. I need to change. But how do I get there?
Umm...how about, people miss heart attacks in women because they have different symptoms, so you might assume you have a gallbladder attack or similar and then die?
Start drinking the wine and eating the crisps infront of the mirror. Naked. Could be the aversion therapy you need!
My wife stabbed me 2 years ago. She has about 11 years left on her attempted murder sentence. Shocking enough?
Thanks. Maybe a trip to the GP - or AA is required. I just am so cross with myself that I can't snap out of it - and make the very simple changes I know I need to without help. Pathetic, I know
I'm not going to say pack it in because you've said you keep trying and it doesn't happen. But I've been there too worrying about my consumption and here's what I did.
You can cut it back a bit. Buy slightly lower alcohol wine, say, a 9% rather than an 11% (or 12 or 13%). I did this and now I buy 5-9% ones - Home and Bargains have got a nice fizzy one called Secco in at the minute. Marks and Spencer do a nice Italian one called Frizzante at 9%. Sainsburys have lovely elderflower and wine drinks at about 4%.
You could also move the 'sober shed' back a bit - to 6.30 for a week or so. Then 7 for a few weeks. Then 7.30. Then 8pm. Sometimes if I keep busy I make it to 10pm!! I say, I'll have a glass after I've done x task. And I do, after the task. I also use the smallest wine glass I've got, an old school wine glass, not a bucket like you get nowadays.
And on a school night, stop at 3. No more. I get fizzy water and do half wine half water too.
Have at least 2 nights with no consumption at all. Preferably 3. It gives the system a rest and helps sleep and makes you feel smug .
Most importantly, cutting it down/back helps you feel better, more in control and to think a little more clearly, so hopefully you have more space to think of positive strategies to help with the reasons why you're drinking too much and eating crap in the first place.
You might not have to think of it as all or nothing is what I'm saying. You can be in charge and take smalls steps to control it.
That being said, If you think you are very dependant on it and could do with some help, go for it. As you say, your health is important, your relationship with your child is important. You are important and deserve to be well. There's a thread on here called the Brave Babes Battle Bus and on there they are reknown for being helpful and supportive, give them a look maybe.
And well done for recognising it.
Them question marks were flowers when I wrote that post, bugger knows where they've got to!
Can u meet friends with kids? Fill up your day with something so you maybe don't feel like that at night? Have friends round with their kids for sleepovers and a good old natter? Works for me
I have gestational diabetes at the moment and am having to prick my fingers 4+ times a day and inject insulin twice a day as well as eating a really restricted diet just to keep my blood sugar under control. The idea of having to do this for the rest of my life if I end up with type 2 diabetes as a result of my lifestyle has given me a serious wake up call. Do you know anyone with diabetes who would share a 'day in their life' with you to show you what you could be avoiding by making some changes now rather than when it's too late?
Any bad habit needs to be replaced with something else. So think of something healthy you could do instead: walk, yoga, home exercise dvd, meditation, replace the crisps with celery and lettuce leaves.
Kleptronic How massively kind of you to take the time to write such a lovely, long, helpful post - thankyou! I am going to have a closer read of it tomorrow. Looks like great advice though - thankyou. And all of you for being so kind. Feel quite teary that you care! And a bit inspired to tackle all this! X
There'll always be someone around on here who cares, Bloody. Keep on keeping on, and posting.
Bloodybloodyhell you wanted something shocking so I thought of the most shocking thing that has happened to me.
The Shocking enough? wasn't meant in that rude/dick way just a genuine question
Yay actual flowers! I have to type it not use emoticons. Have some more:
I'm up this late because I'm drinking, so I'm no example, but a really important part of parenting is what's called "self-care", because what we model to our children is what they take on, more than what we say: It's what we do that counts.
When we're feeling low, we do things that we like to try and make ourselves feel better, but these aren't necessarily things that are good for us.
Some of these things are fine and some do us harm.
So, you could watch an improving documentary on some minor tv channel, or you could watch some other rubbish (difference it makes to your life = almost nothing).
Or, you could have an early night (that would be the one I'm not having, so do ignore me!) or stay up far too late drinking. (difference to your life = bigger. the drinking isn't good for your health, you're more tired [so less tolerant and a less good parent, etc] and possibly hungover which might make you neglectful).
I'm honestly not lecturing in any way, but poor "self-care" is considered a sign of depression, and if you can't take care of yourself then you are in a poorer position to take care of those people who rely on you.
And what do you want for your DC when they are adults? Because what they KNOW is what they will be comfortable to be around - that is what modelling is.
Please go and see your GP. This isn't about you being a size 8 who never drinks alcohol, and it's def not about being perscribed "happy" pills. But it's about getting the tools you need so that you can make good decisions for yourself which will help you parent better and demonstrate to your kids a better way to be so they can be happy and fulfilled adults themselves.
I hope this isn't preachy or too hypocritical, and all the best to you!
Do you shop online or in the actual shop? Sometimes I try to be really strict in the supermarket and not buy junk. Then later at home I crave it so much, but I can't have it as the shop is too far away. Or as kleptronic says buy smaller quantities.
Totally know what you're going through though. I'm naturally quite slim [stealth boast] but I'm ruining my figure by overeating on my own.
Take-up cross stitch or knitting it keeps hands busy in the evening so can't continually drink and eat.
Agree with pps, break the habbit/replace it with something else. At the moment, consciously or not, you know your routine. Break that by making a different routine the norm. Give your hands something to do. Crafting, knitting, colouring are all good distractions (i cant knit but I do like a bit of colouring in! ).
Also I would say watch your nutrition. Sometimes the body craves something it's lacking but in the wrong way. For example when I get low in iron and a bit aneamic I alway want red wine and dark chocolate (more than usual ). Take a multi vitamin supplement.
Few months ago I did a very gentle raw food cleanse. Some shakes, smoothies, raw food meals. It was delicious and stopped me craving sooo much salt like I usually do. If you are in the north west I can tell you the place I used, but if not I'm sure there will be somewhere near you, could be worth a try. Good luck and well done for taking charge
nightstalker for you too, that's awful, hope you are coping xx don't really know what to say but sending positive thoughts
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