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To feel like a bad friend for crying

(8 Posts)
shutupanddance Tue 08-Sep-15 17:28:21

On my friend who has been diagnoised with cancer. sad I couldn't stop myself and feel so selfish. Its not about me.

I'm still teary now. I'm not feeling 100% myself mentallh or physically so that hasn't helped.

ImperialBlether Tue 08-Sep-15 17:33:30

I'm so sorry your friend is ill. If it were me and I told a close friend I had cancer, I would be really pissed off if she didn't cry. I would think I meant nothing to her. Please don't worry about your crying. Just be supportive and give her practical and emotional help whenever she needs it.

Wishful80smontage Tue 08-Sep-15 17:33:33

It shows how much you love you're friend so don't feel bad but try and hold it together when your around her, talk about it if she wants to, offer emotional and practical support.
Fwiw I went through a terrible health time a few years ago things were very bleak at one point and what upset me the most was that some people seemed completely interested and didn't mention it at all, I now know that was because they didn't want to upset me by taking about it but at the time I thought they didn't care.
You sound like a lovely friend so just be there for them however you can

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Tue 08-Sep-15 17:42:55

Don't feel bad, it shows you care. Your friend won't have minded.

shutupanddance Tue 08-Sep-15 17:46:47

Thank you for replys. She really was lovely about it, think thats why I felt bad too because she was comforting me when I should be comforting her.

wishful sorry you went through that, hope yo are well now. Thanks for your insite. I am trying to be there for her. flowers

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 08-Sep-15 17:47:19

Don't feel bad, it's a natural reaction to a sad shock.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Tue 08-Sep-15 17:49:27

It will have been a shock for you.

Maybe send her a card and some smellies or flowers letting her know that you're there for her if she ever needs you.

MakeItACider Tue 08-Sep-15 18:32:30

YANBU, it is a natural reaction, but, you need to get this under control. It is incredibly hard for cancer patients to be there for others as well as struggling themselves. The first time is understandable, but if you cry it will need to be with your friend rather than on your friend. Try to do your big crying away from her, on someone else's shoulder.

My DSis found this when she had cancer, it got very wearing, and she threatened a number of her ILs with walking out if they didn't stop the melodrama and tears, she just couldn't cope with it all.

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