Annoyed with DH

(9 Posts)
Notthebossofnetflicks Tue 08-Sep-15 16:04:36

I have ‘the rage’ with my husband. Cant put my finger on if iabu or not. Basically our 2.5yr old has been slow to talk, she was only saying a few words when she was 2 and DH was worried about her. IMO there was no issue, shes just a late starter and it seems more obvious because our eldest ds was quite advanced for this age and has even now a large vocabulary.

Anyway he has form for this. Ie thinks our ds needs hearing test as he doesn’t listen…ah he’s nearly 5 they don’t listen! So I brought her to the PHN she said shes fine but can make apt with speech therapist to get assessed. I said ok and I brought her along and she was fine, told not to worry she will figure it out in her own but that she would make a second appointment in 6 months just to double check her vocab and pronunciation has improved. Which it has, vastly.

So last week a letter arrives saying the apt is next week (tomorrow). DH is out of work the last few weeks (contractor so this is common) and our second car blew up a week ago so I have the only car now as I need to get to work 1hr drive away. In the back of my mind I was thinking I bet you now he wont see it as important as he would have to get the bus. (He hates getting the bus!) Low and behold today I asked him about the appointment and he has decided that shes fine and doesn’t need to go. I am annoyed!!

Something over nothing I guess, but it has really really bugged me – he will make a fuss about something and it will be uber important UNLESS its complicated/annoying/putting him out…….fyswim.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 08-Sep-15 16:07:14

Typical man...

Get him to come home and give you a lift to the hospital.

Yanbu

petalsandstars Tue 08-Sep-15 16:10:09

Doesn't want to put himself out taking her on the bus. Is he usually selfish? Obviously if you think she's fine then cancel the appointment if you want to make him do it

DoJo Tue 08-Sep-15 16:28:44

Well, surely now it's your turn to be really concerned, to insist that she needs to 'stay in the system' in case any follow up care is needed and to ensure that you are 'engaging with providers' to demonstrate that you are doing whatever you need to do to make sure your daughter receives the best care available.

Has he actually cancelled the appointment?

Bumbledumb Tue 08-Sep-15 16:55:10

You should cancel the appointment so that someone who actually needs the service can avail of it. Don't use the health services just to inconvenience your husband.

Bing0wings Tue 08-Sep-15 17:01:13

YANBU

I agree and think he should take her for the appointment. That would annoy me if DH was being like that. If you don't turn up they can chuck you out of the system and they need to assess your DC tomorrow to be sure.

lynniep Tue 08-Sep-15 17:03:56

Yeah my DH is like that about things - he will whinge but he won't be proactive. (although to be fair he actually offered to take DS1 to a hospital appointment next week - I didnt even ask - so he's learning , although DS1 is 8.5 now so its taken a while)

Jux Tue 08-Sep-15 17:41:05

DH was certain that dd needed to see a child psychologist, when she was 2, because she was "so naughty" (she wasn't, but she was 2, and acted like it!). He actually ordered me to sort it out, questioned me on who was the best cp in London, bullied me about making an appt. After several weeks of this, I told him, very firmly, that my opinion was that dd was completely normal, but that as he was the one who perceived a problem, then he should sort it out. He had the name of the best child psychologist around and could go ahead and do what he liked.

Never heard another word about it. DD never went to a cp, either. DH was as if it had never entered his head there was anything wrong.

Don't pander to him, op. If he does it again, tell him if he's worried to sort it out himself. Only get involved if you're worried too. I can almost guarantee that your dh won't do it, any more than mine did.

onthematleavecountdown Tue 08-Sep-15 17:52:34

He sounds like a right twat.if you need he appt make him take the child the bus won't kill him. I'd you don't need the appt cancel it asso so it can go to someone who needs it.

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