to be fucking beyond furious with my ten year old daughter

(542 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

ovaryhill Mon 07-Sep-15 19:23:25

Had a call from fraud prevention at my bank today
Daughter has been playing Movistar Planet and has taken my bank acard nd spent £266 over the past couple of months!!!
I'm so upset I could cry

ImperialBlether Mon 07-Sep-15 19:26:36

Oh you poor thing. What a horrible thing for her to do and how stupid - did she think she wouldn't get found out?

Gatehouse77 Mon 07-Sep-15 19:28:14

Wow [shocked]

I wouldn't want to be in her shoes right now! I'm not surprised you're fuming, I would be too.

Try and take a deep breath before you start handing out punishments and make sure you don't end up punishing yourself. Personally, I'd make her work off the debt doing jobs around the house that you hate!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 07-Sep-15 19:28:39

YANBU.

Make sure you password protect purchases on your devices from now on, and make sure she pays.you back.

cuntycowfacemonkey Mon 07-Sep-15 19:29:55

Wow I'm not sure what I'd do but I'd be raging too! How is her behaviour generally?

SurlyCue Mon 07-Sep-15 19:30:34

How did you not notice if its been over months?

Also at 10 you should have a password installed for purchases on whatever console she is using. My two have been drilled to ask me about every purchase, even the free ones so i can check for any "catches" or small print.

LadyShirazz Mon 07-Sep-15 19:31:29

That is pretty resourceful for a ten year old, I have to say - once the rage has subsided, perhaps you can congratulate yourself for raising a child who sees ways around problems (albeit short term ones).

I hope you lied to the bank and said you had no idea who might have done that...?

Scarydinosaurs Mon 07-Sep-15 19:32:03

How infuriating. At 10 you definitely understand. Where on earth did she get the idea to do it??

harrasseddotcom Mon 07-Sep-15 19:33:02

YANBU but was your daughter aware exactly what she was doing and how much she spent? Dniece did this and spent £700ish over a period of a few months and I dont think she fully understand what exactly she did.

Charis1 Mon 07-Sep-15 19:33:11

personally I would cancel Christmas.

SanityClause Mon 07-Sep-15 19:33:26

That is pretty resourceful for a ten year old, I have to say - once the rage has subsided, perhaps you can congratulate yourself for raising a child who sees ways around problems (albeit short term ones).

I hope you lied to the bank and said you had no idea who might have done that...?

shock

OneDay103 Mon 07-Sep-15 19:33:54

Yanbu, how naughty of her! Very sneaky, how did she get away with it for so long though?

SurlyCue Mon 07-Sep-15 19:34:16

That is pretty resourceful for a ten year old, I have to say - once the rage has subsided, perhaps you can congratulate yourself for raising a child who sees ways around problems (albeit short term ones)

Its pretty easy to spend lots on games. Basically a click.

OneDay103 Mon 07-Sep-15 19:34:29

Lady I'm assuming that was a poor attempt at a joke?

ChickenTikkaMassala Mon 07-Sep-15 19:35:16

Was your card linked to her device?

TendonQueen Mon 07-Sep-15 19:38:09

Argh. Whatever device she was on I would certainly remove for starters and be saying she won't get another like it for a long time. Is she sorry?

RomComPhooey Mon 07-Sep-15 19:38:16

Make her repay it from her pocket money, in installments for the next 2 years if you have to. Also raid her birthday money etc if you have to, to make the point that she doesn't get to raid your bank account/money without consequences - she's basically spent it all running up a bill against your account.

Discopanda Mon 07-Sep-15 19:38:36

The same thing happened to my aunt in law, her 11 yo DS did this, luckily the bank refunded her and she changed the settings so he couldn't make in-game purchases without a code.

It's not resourceful, it's naughty.

ovaryhill Mon 07-Sep-15 19:39:29

She is currently in her room hysterical after a massive bollocking
I have packed up her collection of monster high dolls to sell because she still tried to lie and deny it
Her behaviour is generally good but this is completely unacceptable
She used my debit card each time, twenty to thirty pounds at a time
Bank have cancelled my cards and she is barred from the computer

LadyShirazz Mon 07-Sep-15 19:39:31

Perhaps I'm showing my age, but that would never have occurred to me at age ten - for one we didn't have computers then, but we did have credit cards and I'd never even have contemplated the option of paying for anything with one of those (if I even knew of their existence in the first place).

Yes very wrong of though and no YANBU.

LadyShirazz Mon 07-Sep-15 19:40:03

Or at least we didn't have computers in my house.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Mon 07-Sep-15 19:41:57

Are the bank making you pay or do they count it as unauthorised use?

SurlyCue Mon 07-Sep-15 19:42:59

My sister perfected my mum's signature from she was around 9 years old and used to steal cheques from the back of her cheque book. Never actually used them because, well, the sweetie shop didnt take cheques for a quid grin but the intention was there.

ovaryhill Mon 07-Sep-15 19:44:06

The bank can't do anything but I'm going to contact the company tomorrow though I realise any refund
Is at their discretion

IMHO ten is very young and in a sense I wouldn't put all the blame on her
I'd take her devices off her for sure
I'd talk about it and hopefully make her see it mustn't happen again
But I wouldn't expect her to pay it back - how can a ten year old really do that?

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