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AIBU to be annoyed with MiL?

(61 Posts)
startrek90 Sun 06-Sep-15 16:56:03

Dh thinks so I don't.

Disclaimer; my MiL is normally amazing and lovely and we get on great that's why I am surprised. She is a very considerate person and normally is very careful not to overstep boundaries.

Yesterday MiL was looking after my 11 month old DS so I could catch up on sleep (ds has 4 teeth coming through so life is very miserable atm). When I went to collect him she said how well he slept and that all was calm. My FiL thinks ds is just playing me hmm and trying to get my attention so is not sleeping.

I found out today that the reason that ds slept so well is because my MiL gave ds 3 homeopathic tablets in his milk- without calling or checking with me. I am super annoyed as I don't trust such medicine and would rather not give anything like that without speaking to a dr.

I would never dream of giving my nephew or my youngest SiL (8) any tablet without speaking to their parents. My dh thinks I am unreasonable and precious. Am I?

mrschatty Sun 06-Sep-15 16:58:20

No I would not be happy with my child receiving anything 'medicinal' without my knowledge.
How does she know it's safe fir babies? Hoe does she know it doesn't contain anything he may be allergic to? I would not be happy Tbh

NoArmaniNoPunani Sun 06-Sep-15 16:59:03

Homeopathic pills are just sugar. She shouldn't have given them without your consent but they aren't real medicine

Doublebubblebubble Sun 06-Sep-15 17:00:48

Nope. That is a no no for me. That's like giving a baby whisky or brandy to help them (I hear this is what was done in the olden days). Do you know what is in these drugs... Does she?? Just think it through she gave an 11 month old BABY 3 tablets probably to shut him up otherwise what would be the point. Nope!!!

I would have to have words as that is unacceptable.

Fluffy24 Sun 06-Sep-15 17:01:32

YAB mildly U.

It wouldn't worry me, I don't class homeopathic remedies as medicine really, and wouldn't believe that's what had made him sleep.

I'd just have been grateful for some sleep!

MaidOfStars Sun 06-Sep-15 17:02:01

She gave him homeopathic tablets? So, from a practical POV, she may as well have fed him cardboard. Homeopathy tablets are filler and magic water, so she hasn't actually given your son anything that is remotely bioactive.

From an ethical POV, I tend to agree with you that any medication should be consented by parents. But, and it's really a tongue-in-cheek 'but', she didn't give your child medicine, she gave him sweets, and I think I'd struggle to get really annoyed with this aspect. It doesn't defeat the principle that she obviosuly thinks she was medicating your son, I guess.

TBH, I'd mostly be annoyed at the idea that this shit might be part of my son's life when growing up.

calamityjam Sun 06-Sep-15 17:02:02

Not all homeopathic medicines are sugar at all. They are not highly regulated and could contain anything I personally would be livid

Scarydinosaurs Sun 06-Sep-15 17:03:20

Wtf did she give him??

No, I'd be absolutely furious. Homeopathic stuff is utter bollocks, but it doesn't mean she can dole it out to your children.

NoArmaniNoPunani Sun 06-Sep-15 17:03:40

Can you name any that have any active ingredient calamity?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sun 06-Sep-15 17:04:04

I wouldn't be bothered about impact of sugar pills but I would be worried about someone who believed they were medicating my child doing so without my permission.

The sugar pills won't be why he slept btw because they have no active ingredient. It will just be a coincidence. Often a change of scene can make a difference and of course teething pain fluctuates. It's always worse at night because a) you're tired and want to sleep so it feels 10 x worse and more difficult to cope b) baby is extra tired and we all know the effects of over tiredness plus pain.

Silvercatowner Sun 06-Sep-15 17:04:42

I would've been beyond furious. An 11 month old child being given stuff to make them sleep, for the convenience of the carer? Outrageous.

Although - just on the off chance these tablets did contribute to the good sleeping, can you find out what they were?

Huntthepigsear Sun 06-Sep-15 17:05:25

Homeopathic medicines CAN be dangerous. They are not put through the stringent testing that mainstream medicines are put through. I know of a case of liver failure due to a homeopathic tablet. I would never give my own child one, never mind anyone else's.

elfycat Sun 06-Sep-15 17:10:24

Just as some medicines are not approved for children, some complimentary therapies are unsuitable. Some adult doses of regular medication need to be reduced for children. WTF dose did she give with 3 tablets? When doing drug-rounds as a nurse I would check if I was shaking more than 2 tablets out of a bottle.


I'm happy enough to give my DDs some complementary therapies (I'm qualified in a couple) but no-way would I give them to someone else's child without their parents saying so.

calamityjam Sun 06-Sep-15 17:11:50

Chamomile is often used in homeopathic teething remedies which can have adverse side effects to those who have an allergy to ragweed and in very rare cases can cause anaphylaxis.

BertrandRussell Sun 06-Sep-15 17:13:48

She shouldn't have given it without your consent.

BUT. Homeopathic remedies have absolutely no active ingredients AT ALL, so could neither have contributed to his sleep or done him any harm. She must just be a Baby Whisperer. Some people are.

BertrandRussell Sun 06-Sep-15 17:16:46

Hunthepigsear- I suspect you mean "herbal" not "homeopathic". There is no way a homeopathic remedy can make any difference either way.

Theycallmemellowjello Sun 06-Sep-15 17:20:44

YANBU. Of course homeopathy is bollocks, and the tablets won't have had any active ingredients in them. But the point is she presumably doesn't think that homeopathy is bollocks and believed the tablets to have some kind of pharmaceutical efficacy. So as far as she was concerned she was giving medication to the baby without your permission. This is massively overstepping the mark. But seen as you have a good relationship with her normally and she seems well-intentioned, I'd just tell her that she needs your or your DH's explicit consent before she gives the baby any medication.

Cabrinha Sun 06-Sep-15 17:21:38

It does depend what she used, though I'm mostly of the opinion that she should have OK'd it with you. But on trying to think if there's anything I'd not mind, I did think of Nelson's teething powder.

featherandblack Sun 06-Sep-15 17:21:48

Yanbu at all.

EnglishWeddingGuest Sun 06-Sep-15 17:22:01

I do not think you are unreasonable

Giving him any form of medicine - over the counter or not - is completely inappropriate without parental consent

The attitude where people override a parents wishes because they believe they know better, or because they think the parents views are invalid or silly, drives me nuts - it's soooo disrespectful

If you normally have a good relationship i would politely ask that she doesnt give any form of medicine without checking with you first

Huntthepigsear Sun 06-Sep-15 17:22:40

Bertrand blush you may be right there!

Osolea Sun 06-Sep-15 17:24:04

Yanbu. She shouldn't give things like that without a parents permission. If your DH said it was ok beforehand then she didn't do anything wrong, but it doesn't sound like she spoke to either of you first.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 06-Sep-15 17:25:05

everyone's assuming they were just sugar pulls. if the mil has classed herbal (ie contains flower extracts or whatever) with homoeopathy which may or may not be sugar pills then they well could have contained things unsuitable fir a baby or caused a reaction. unnecessary medicine should not be given and she shouldn't have given them without your consent.

startrek90 Sun 06-Sep-15 17:28:13

The only one I can translate (it's in German) is calcium phosphate. The writing says 4 times to speak with a dr?!?! Dh thinks I am pfb and being silly. I don't trust stuff like this without my dr saying it's ok to give it to my baby.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 06-Sep-15 17:29:21

does your MIL speak German?

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