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To think this is taking the piss?

(51 Posts)
HelpForAFriendInNeed Tue 01-Sep-15 00:31:35

I am a bridesmaid for one of my good friends next month and we went on her hen do this month. It was a four day long affair. There's four bridesmaids and my friend, the maid of honour, had text me asking whether I thought she should organise gift bags for the hens. I didn't think they were necessary, but said that if she wanted to do that then I would help her make them up cheaply (a sash and miniature wine, or something like that).

Anyway, the other two bridesmaids are relatives of the hen, neither of who MOH and I know well. One of them messaged MOH and said that she would be happy to do a gift bag. MOH asked me if I thought this was a good idea and I said that if bridesmaid wanted to then why not. MOH told me there was a £30-40 limit per bridesmaid agreed with bridesmaid for gift bags and decorations for the hen do (banners and balloons).

Not long after the hen MOH and I text bridesmaid asking how much we owed her. She has just replied saying she's been through her bank statements and we owe £101 each. Other relative bridesmaid has said this is fine. I am not happy at all and think she is taking the piss, as does MOH.

AWBU? And if not, how can we refuse to pay that much whilst maintaining the peace this close to the wedding?

Patapouf Tue 01-Sep-15 01:35:08

What was in the bag?
If you agreed to it, but didn't confirm the price, you should pay up. If this is the case ask for an itemised bill for it.
If you said no, then you said no and stand your ground.

bluesbaby Tue 01-Sep-15 01:53:16

Just say you only agreed to pay up to £40!! And pay £40! shock

Cabrinha Tue 01-Sep-15 02:05:14

OMG?!!! Did you not notice that was do much (over priced shite?) in your goody bag?! What the hell did you get?

I think this sort of nonsense is just awful - why do people have to keep inventing more and more stupid things to spend money on, for weddings?

If this woman said £30-£40, then just tell her - you can only pay £40. Is there anything left you can still return to her?

MrsWembley Tue 01-Sep-15 02:13:49

Ask MoH to let the other bridesmaid know that the limit was set at £40 and if she went over that then that was no fault of hers or yours. Pay £40 and say nothing else.

If the bride is a good friend, and the relatives mention it in a bit of a huff, then hopefully she will see your side.

Seriously though, what the fuck was in these bags? What else is she having you pay for in terms of decorations, etc.? It seems excessive even if you hadn't set a limit!

KanyeWestPresidentForLife Tue 01-Sep-15 02:14:49

Ask her to itemise hopefully that will play for time, take it past the wedding and possibly get her to retract it. Plus it's good for you to have that info if there are any further problems. Then say you're only paying the £40 agreed.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 01-Sep-15 02:17:57

I think this sort of nonsense is just awful - why do people have to keep inventing more and more stupid things to spend money on, for weddings? An unwanted, unneeded bag of tat for a four day event in anticipation of I bet a bigger day for two people to sign a contract. I mean really!

AimlesslyPurposeful Tue 01-Sep-15 02:19:32

Sometimes responding with a limerick is the only way to go...

We agreed the bags would cost £40.00
So your new price is a farce
Granted that
It wasn't bad bits of tat
But you can stick your bill up your arse

BTW - What was in the bags?

MammaTJ Tue 01-Sep-15 04:19:26

Just pay the price you agreed!

In the absence of a reply, I guess there was a gold plated robe, a tiara and some glass slippers as well as decorations!

Cabrinha Tue 01-Sep-15 11:21:52

Come ON!
I need to know what was in the party bag!

Queenbean Tue 01-Sep-15 11:24:34

What was in the bag?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 01-Sep-15 11:27:20

If the limit was £30-£40 then I wouldn't pay more than that. How many people went? Did she really spend £100s on gift bags? I thought £30pp was pretty generous.

StealthPolarBear Tue 01-Sep-15 11:35:10

Presumably it's £100 per bridesmaid to cover all of the hem party.
Just to be clear I still think that is ridiculous! ! But it's not 100 per bag

ElementaryMyDear Tue 01-Sep-15 11:39:39

I don't even understand how this was a gift bag? How can it be a gift bag if you're paying for it? If the bride wants to give the bridesmaids something, surely it's for her both to choose and pay for the gifts?

HackerFucker22 Tue 01-Sep-15 11:46:01

So all the hens got a gift bag and the bm and moh covered the cost at £101 each? When you had only agreed to pay £30-£40 each. So the cost has risen from £250 in total to £500?

How many hens were there? Is this cost on top of the cost of the actual hen do?

Pobspits Tue 01-Sep-15 11:51:31

Just, what?

Cabrinha Tue 01-Sep-15 11:56:36

Stealth OP clearly says the "£40" was for gift bags and decorations. I very much doubt it would be £100 for the hen as it was a FOUR DAY HEN!!! shock

As I said above - the fuck is it with people inventing crap 'traditions' or 'events' to spend money on?!

And I agree, how is it even fun when everyone knows it's coming?

Absolute waste of money.

StealthPolarBear Tue 01-Sep-15 11:58:27

No what I mean is the £100 is from each bridesmaid to buy decorations and gifts for the hen party.
Not that each bag contained £100 worth of gifts iyswim

MuttonDressedAsGoose Tue 01-Sep-15 11:59:17

I need a more thorough accounting of what was in the bags and what else the 101 covers before I know where my outrage lies.

StealthPolarBear Tue 01-Sep-15 11:59:47

So if there are 4 bridesmaids and 20 in the hen party the 4 bms pay 400 in total and each hen gets a bag with 20 worth of crap. Ignoring any money spent on decorations here.

fastdaytears Tue 01-Sep-15 12:02:44

Ok I'm all ready to be outraged but before I jump in I need to know...

- how sure you are that MOH passed on the message about the limit...the fact that she's paid up might mean she thinks she cocked up
- what was in the bags! Fully itemised please..,

MuttonDressedAsGoose Tue 01-Sep-15 12:03:29

Yes, we NEED to know what was in the bags! Absolutely need to.

StealthPolarBear Tue 01-Sep-15 12:05:51

Hopefully something decent!
I went to a relatives hen night and another relative had done this, we all got a gift bag full of pamper stuff and make up. She paid for it herself and it must have been a fortune but she is very generous.

fastdaytears Tue 01-Sep-15 12:07:36

I got paracetamol, plasters and a party popper. Only gift bag ever and I've only just noticed the P thing.

HunterHearstHelmsley Tue 01-Sep-15 12:08:08

Did she misunderstand and think it was £30-40 per hen and the bridesmaids were covering it?

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