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is it normal to look forward to your children going to bed?

(69 Posts)
GlitteringJasper Sun 30-Aug-15 17:48:33

It's a long day with my two, either me or do is up from 5.45 and come 7pm, I really can't wait for them to be in bed.

I worry that I don't have the patience other people seem to with their children.

I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old, I love them to bits but they are exhausting.

I can't talk about how I really feel in real life as I had a silent 12 week miscarriage 4 weeks ago and people will wonder why on earth I'm trying for a third since I'm such a bad mum. I just see me as a mum of 3. I can't wait for the days when we can all get into the car without needing nappies and huge bag of tricks, nappies, water, wipes, snacks, books, toys, iPad. I just want to enjoy my children and go to the cinema, out for lunch, to the farm, anything, days out without someone throwing a tantrum.

I do most of the childcare when I'm not a work as my dh works weekends. We went TV shopping today and my ds went berserk as it was too bright in the TV shop hmm

I cook nutritious food for ds (eldest) but it's a total lottery as to,whether he will eat it,

I'm a rambling idiot, sorry.

My ds did someone so naughty today in the middle of a shop and everyone was staring. I Wonder what I'm doing wrong, why he isn't behaving like other people's children seem to.

I live with the mantra "don't parent the way you were parented" but I'm not sure where I'm going wrong.

Is it normal to be so overwhelmed at times?

I just can't wait for my two to go to bed, surely a good mum wouldn't think this?

fabuLou Sun 30-Aug-15 17:51:14

You sound like a great mum. V. Nirmal to feel this.

Marmitelover55 Sun 30-Aug-15 17:52:22

Yes definitely at those ages! wine

Passmethecrisps Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:01

I adore my dd but the telief when she is finally in bed is enormous!

Children are exhausting in a way which is almost impossible to explain.

You have had a really rough time by the sound of it. Relax and don't worry at all about the relief of bed time - I don't know a single parent who doesn't heave at least a slight sigh of relief

BackforGood Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:05

Of course it's normal.

As are all the other things you have mentioned.

Don't hold your breath about this bit though I can't wait for the days when we can all get into the car without needing nappies and huge bag of tricks, nappies, water, wipes, snacks, books, toys, iPad. I just want to enjoy my children and go to the cinema, out for lunch, to the farm, anything, days out without someone throwing a tantrum

Mine are well into their teens and can still throw a tantrum with the best of them wink

FourEyesGood Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:12

Completely normal for me.

ReluctantCamper Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:15

It's completely normal, especially when you're doing so much childcare. Do you get much of a break? Is you're baby sleeping much? It's a lot easier when you're not tired.

Clueing4looks Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:20

Mine are 10 and 11 and most days I can't wait for bedtime!

TravellingToad Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:24

Yes I LOVE bedtime (18m old, 3yr old and 8 weeks pregnant)

NullaBore Sun 30-Aug-15 17:54:35

Yes, and my dd is 4.5 and very easy! I'm also pregnant with dd2 and know that's my limit.

I'm sorry about your mc flowers

Are you sure you want another dc or feel like you should?

AbbeyRoadCrossing Sun 30-Aug-15 17:55:05

You are a good mum. I think this too, especially after a long day with an early start. I cram my entire adult life into the couple of hours DS is in bed before I go to bed.
And as for other people's kids being perfectly behaved all the time - I doubt it. You probably only see a glimpse of their lives.
I remember family members saying to me how happy and quiet DS always is. I think they must've seen some very good days as it's not always like that

Bellebella Sun 30-Aug-15 18:00:05

Oh god no, I think that is normal with a toddler and baby. It can be long old days. I feel the same with my ds who is 2 often. I am on my own a lot with him and he can be intense. I love spending time with him but at his bedtime I sigh and enjoy my time without having to check constantly what he doing.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I bet the best parents in the world have counted the minutes to bedtime as well.

SisterMoonshine Sun 30-Aug-15 18:00:08

I was so trying to keep my 3 year old awake in the car earlier so she'll bed nice and early (not long now wink ). I think we all relish when they're in bed don't we? They wear you out, much as you love them.
My older DD is getting to the age she'll be staying up later and I'm not looking forward to losing my evening time.

fabuLou Sun 30-Aug-15 18:01:21

Im also looking forward to the days when nappies etc are behind us.

poocatcherchampion Sun 30-Aug-15 18:02:21

Oh yes! And then I see their little sleeping faces and love them later on.

And I love love love babies and would have a million if they didn't grow up!

confusedandemployed Sun 30-Aug-15 18:03:48

I live for 7pm every single day and I only have one DD. I couldn't bear it if she didn't sleep. Thankfully she understood from a very young age what a low tolerance level for lack of sleep I have.

Kraggle Sun 30-Aug-15 18:06:38

I love my 2 year old to bits but by god do I love nap time and bedtime!

She is very full on and im a bit of an introvert and love that I can just sit and watch something other than Bing on the tele!

Plus mine nearly always plays up when we go out. I'm often THAT mother whose toddler is dangling off the reins!

AuditAngel Sun 30-Aug-15 18:06:58

It does really help once the nappy days are past.

My DC are 11, 8 and 4. I'm really glad it is back to school this week (14th for reception start for 4yo) as it means back to normal bed times and I get some peace.

Feeling overwhelmed jeans you care about his you are doing.

Sorry about your MMC, I suffered one between DC1 and DC2, be kind to yourself.

MrsHathaway Sun 30-Aug-15 18:08:47

I'm so sorry for your loss. Now is not the time to beat yourself up!

But it's totally normal to look forward to their bedtime because very small children are relentless.

As for looking forward to their being older, and wanting a third, I hear you. I always wanted to have three and even on the worst days I don't regret DC3. But I ttc to have children/a family, not babies/toddlers and I don't think it's any reflection on my parenting skills if I admit I far prefer them as they get older.


brytte Sun 30-Aug-15 18:10:12

Totally normal. I just needed that time to recharge my mental batteries. I still need that time where my full-on 9 year old is concerned!

MTWTFSS Sun 30-Aug-15 18:12:43

If they are awake from 5.45, then YANBU to want them to get to bed from 13:45 so posting at 17:48 is fine smile Having children that young really is a full-time job with NO breaks!

My 2 are now almost 3yo and 4.5yo and it is A LOT easier smile

IMurderedStampyLongnose Sun 30-Aug-15 18:12:55

Normal-bye bye babies!!

Toffeewhirl Sun 30-Aug-15 18:13:05

Mine are 9 and 15 and I still look forward to them going to bed. I love them, obviously, but I like time to myself or with DH too. Unfortunately, the 15 year old often goes to bed later than we do sad.

godsavethequeeeen Sun 30-Aug-15 18:13:17

Normal IME. Mine are older but still exhausting.

brytte Sun 30-Aug-15 18:13:50

Plus, it's okay to want children and look forward to the days when they are older. Children, whilst still demanding and hard work are like a different species to babies and toddlers. Some people are better at staying Zen during the baby years. Doesn't mean the others aren't cut out to be good parents

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