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AIBU to think this is too much to cope with

(36 Posts)
Fizzielove Fri 28-Aug-15 22:09:27

My dad died 2/8 and my Granda has just passed away tonight.

How am I meant to cope?

ImperialBlether Fri 28-Aug-15 22:12:55

flowers for you, Fizzie. How awful for you. Do you have friends or family who can support you?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Fri 28-Aug-15 22:13:46

flowers so sorry for your losses - it must all seem surreal at the moment. All you can do is take one day at a time - would it help to talk about it here?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Fri 28-Aug-15 22:19:02

Whoa. That's bad.
Sorry for your losses.
But in time, you will cope.
Just do the minimum to get by for a few days. Take each day as it comes.
Ask any good friends for company or a shoulder to cry on.
Nobody will judge you for spending a few days in your pjs at home, hair not brushed.
flowers

Welshmaenad Fri 28-Aug-15 22:21:56

I'm so sorry Fizzie.

You put one foot in front of the other, and try not to forget to breathe. It gets easier, I promise, even if you can't see how right now.

flowers

Penfold007 Fri 28-Aug-15 22:22:55

Fizzie I'm so sorry for your double loss. In truth you just cope and hope DD and DGD are together. I'm not religious but have silly hopes.

Supermanspants Fri 28-Aug-15 22:27:21

Oh god.... you poor, poor thing.
Absolutely one day at a time. Don't even think about 'trying to cope'. I promise you it gets easier. Have been where you are you poor love.
Do you want to tell us about your dad and grandad?
Sending virtual love and flowers

Fizzielove Fri 28-Aug-15 22:30:09

I'm the last of my family now. My DH is great and I have 2 little children to gee me on.

I have no siblings as my DB passed away too. I just miss all of them. Heartbroken doesn't come close to how I'm feeling.

Fizzielove Fri 28-Aug-15 22:31:32

Thank you all for you kindness. You guys give me hope for civilisation

derxa Fri 28-Aug-15 22:31:48

How absolutely fucking hellish. flowers Just been through a bereavement but nothing like this. Keep posting.

derxa Fri 28-Aug-15 22:33:11

I'm the last of my family too. I know how you feel.

Supermanspants Fri 28-Aug-15 22:35:00

Oh Fizzie..... am so so sorry. You are in the worst possible place right now. The pain is horrendous but every day that passes is one day nearer to feeling ok. Am so glad you have your little family around you.
Take each day as it comes.... see how you feel and maybe try and get out for a walk somewhere nice. I found being outside on occasions really helped me. Are you sleeping?

derxa Fri 28-Aug-15 22:35:32

My brother died at 32, 1994. My mother in 2000 and now my dad in 2015.
I really know how you feel.

Supermanspants Fri 28-Aug-15 22:37:52

Am going to admit it but at my worst I found having a brandy helped me. I also used to watch loads of random shit on TV just to interrupt those dreadful thought processes. I started drawing and painting horses and although I was a bit crap I found it incredibly therapeutic.
Don't fight the tears..... let them flow

Fizzielove Fri 28-Aug-15 22:38:16

Oh Derxa my heart goes out to you.

Supermanspants Fri 28-Aug-15 22:39:02

flowers *derxa. God people have such hard, hard losses to deal with sad

Fizzielove Fri 28-Aug-15 22:39:51

Will sleep, medication Dr prescribed cos I want coping with looking after them both.

ladygracie Fri 28-Aug-15 22:41:02

Oh fizzie, I am so sorry for your losses. That is so much to cope with xxx
flowers for you too derxa

antimatter Fri 28-Aug-15 22:41:39

I read somewhere - if someone close dies a part of you dies too...

That why is it so hard and nearly impossible to get over death of close family members.

Cry, scream and talk abut your pain. It's easier that way.
flowers

derxa Fri 28-Aug-15 22:42:39

Fizzie As they say in the Mafia 'fugetaboutit'. This thread isn't about me. Every grief is different and yours is as valid as they come.

WhatDidITellYou Fri 28-Aug-15 22:43:14

flowers
So sad
I'm glad you have your DH and DCs even though the rest of your family are gone. It must be lonely for you

CheckpointCharlie Fri 28-Aug-15 22:43:49

God, hugs to both of you. sad flowers

OP, you have your little ones to carry on all the awesomeness that your dad and Grandpa gave to you, some of their essence will live on through you and them.

Cherryberry1 Fri 28-Aug-15 22:44:43

I'm sorry for your losses flowers

MrsNippyCat Fri 28-Aug-15 22:50:18

I'm so sorry for your losses, be kind to yourself flowers

AshVegas Fri 28-Aug-15 23:19:07

We had an horrendous experience a few years ago (in the space of 6 weeks I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my dad, closet uncle, sister-in-law and granddad). I thought my poor mum was going to go mad with grief, and I wasn't in the best shape.
It was the advice of a close friend who got me through. She said, imagine that your life is a picture drawn on a page. When you lose someone you love, grief is like a big black ink splodge that covers the whole picture and your whole life. However, eventually your life begins to grow and expand beyond the black spot.
It's not that the grief gets less, it's that your life gradually gets bigger and expands beyond the grief. There are still moments when you are back under that spot and your grief is covering your whole life, but as your life expands, they gradually become less frequent.

It really helped me. That, and remembering "This too will pass"

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