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AIBU?

or does every mother feel like this?

87 replies

JustHavinABreak · 25/08/2015 17:34

First let me say how much I adore my kids. That's why I ask this, in case I am not doing right by them. But does anyone else have days where they feel completely overwhelmed by motherhood, like they are completely crap at it??

OP posts:
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Lovelybuzzybees · 25/08/2015 17:36

Hey having we are all winging it everyday , don't beat yourself up

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godsavethequeeeen · 25/08/2015 17:36

most days. We have moments of it being ok, but they're outnumbered by the hard shit.

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LionsDontWeaveLentils · 25/08/2015 17:38

I think everyone feels like this....or at least I certainly do.

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RandomMess · 25/08/2015 17:39

Oh yes, my best is "never good enough" in my own eyes.

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Birnamwood · 25/08/2015 17:40

yup. Today. We haven't left the house, feel like the worst mother in the world but I'm just so knackered after 4 hrs sleep sat am - sun pm and ds2's birthday party yesterday. They've spent the day in PJ's playing with the new toys and the house is a bomb site

Mine are 7 & 3 btw so not young!

It'll pass, I'm happy that, if at the end of the day, no one is in hospital, they've been fed and are happy then I have done a good job :)

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BlanketsAndBiscuits · 25/08/2015 17:42

Oh god, constantly!

If they're still alive at the end of the day, its a job well done.

Anything extra is just a bonus wishes of a immaculate home

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ExplodingCarrots · 25/08/2015 17:43

You are not alone OP . Some days I can be close to tears.

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Wobblystraddle · 25/08/2015 17:44

That feels very much like my life at the moment.

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comfybigduvet · 25/08/2015 17:45

To be honest, I don't now. I'm not a brilliant mother but I'm their mother so I'm better than anyone else because they are my children.

I'd be a terrible mum to anyone else's kids though!

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StarlingMurmuration · 25/08/2015 17:46

Every day! It gets to this time of day and I'm literally counting down til the cavalry (DP!) arrives home from work. Only 20 minutes to go!

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GrouchyKiwi · 25/08/2015 17:50

Definitely. Some days DH gets home from work and I tell him he's in charge of the children till they go to bed because I need to pretend I don't have any, then I go and hide in the lounge watching crap tv.

Some days are relentless and you're basically just doing what you can to survive.

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purplepandas · 25/08/2015 17:50

Absolutely. I started my own thread last week about this kind of thing. Last week there were tears from me. Tis hard.

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MimiLaBonq1 · 25/08/2015 17:51

Yes. I think everyone feels overwhelmed at times. Some more or less than others.

I agree with comfyduvet I would be a shit mum to anyone else's kids. And am at peace with being a less than perfect mum to my own. But they are fed, happy and feel loved. That's the best we can do.

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MyIronLung · 25/08/2015 17:52

Yes! we've had a shit day. We were supposed to go out and meet with friends but it all got cancelled last minute and started to rain. Instead we've been in the house all day, ds (4) is bored out of his brain even though he has a million toys, I'm tired and fed up and counting down the hours till we can go to bed and forget this disaster of a day.
What makes it worse is as a lp I don't even have anyone coming home to help me. This is it. Every day. Ad infinitum.

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Tiggeryoubastard · 25/08/2015 17:53

I am certain just about everyone gas days like that. Mine are older now, but I remember exactly what you mean, justhaving. Just go with the flow on days like that.

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stuckinahole · 25/08/2015 17:56

Yes. Everyday.

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abbieanders · 25/08/2015 17:59

Constantly. Logically, I know I'm a good mam and the baba is happy, healthy, safe, loved and coming along well. However, I'm not perfect and beat myself up about my failures every day.

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Sandbrook · 25/08/2015 17:59

3-4 times a fucking week

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LongHairDontCare · 25/08/2015 17:59

Every day. We are bored, every day is the same and I shout to much Sad

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Pyjamaramadrama · 25/08/2015 18:01

Yes, especially atm as I have a new baby and ds1 has spent most of the holidays bored out of his brains.

I'm also convinced that everyone else has spotless houses, goes on long walks in the rain and bakes and cooks fresh meals everyday.

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Trooperslane · 25/08/2015 18:02

Can't link on my phone, but if you're on Facebook follow the hurrah for gin page and check out the Tim Minchin quote.Wine

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MoodyMarge · 25/08/2015 18:05

All the time!! I always compare myself to other parents. Sometimes I'm sensible enough to realise that nobody is perfect and these 'earth mother' types probably have their moments behind closed doors too. Often, however I just beat myself up about the things I haven't/can't/won't do for the kids. Facebook is a big part of the guilt I feel, other families just seem to have so much more fun whilst I normally feel tired, fed up and cross! (I am aware that people do pick the best stuff to post on FB and it's not a realistic reflection of their everyday lives).

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Rarity08 · 25/08/2015 18:06

Oh god yes. We're having a PJ day today. I start my nightshifts tonight and have barely got the energy to move off the sofa, luckily dc's quite happy playing and taking turns on the iPad. You are not alone Brew

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ExBallerina · 25/08/2015 18:07

I did often, but due to a recent health scare I've had, I've decided to stop worrying about getting it right. I've started to apply that old adage of "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy" to some of my daily parenting struggles. Dd's only 3 though so I guess it won't always apply...

But, we do what works. And you don't know what works until you learn what doesn't. That's my story and I'm sticking to it Wine

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horsewalksintoabar · 25/08/2015 18:09

Oh Lord yes. I have my great mum days but more often, I have days like today... the kids are rotting, literally, in front of the telly... I just got out of my PJs at 4:30pm. Toys, slobbing about, telly, and me feeling lazy as can be.

I think I spend most of my time feeling guilty. I look out my front window and the mother of 3 opposite me always looks like she's doing it all so brilliantly. I wonder what she makes of me, seeing me and my Fagin's gang of 3 stringy haired and unwashed kids in our PJs all day, way too often over the summer hols. She's constantly packing her kids into the car for days out. And the car backs out of her drive by 9am, just as I'm nursing my second coffee (up since 6 with tiny one who has decided sleep is for suckers). Fortunately, God honestly, my kids are really easily pleased. They don't ask for much at all! Their expectations of me must be incredibly low. Grin

But our kids, we can all say this, are totally loved, nurtured, protected and that's what matters. Hugs and love on tap... even when we're grumpy and knackered.
I'm so glad I came across this thread because I am feeling like a particularly bad mother today.

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