Advanced search

Pregnant woman buying cigarettes

(112 Posts)
RevsDeCub Mon 24-Aug-15 11:23:46

I need to settle this debate. I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant & was nipping to the shop on my way home so phoned DP to ask did he want anything. Meaning a drink or a snack...
He asks me to buy him some cigarettes to which I point blank refuse and he goes into a bit of a strop that I won't get him some - I did smoke before pregnancy & we used to buy each other cigarettes if we were at the shop but obviously I don't smoke now! He says he 'doesn't know what the big deal is as they're not for me'.
I couldn't believe he would even ask me to buy some!! My argument is as I am heavily pregnant in my early 20s and there might even be a risk of me getting asked for ID (challenge 25 everywhere) which is embarrassing enough, but whilst pregnant I look like a terrible person for buying them. I will buy beer even though I'm not drinking it, but I see that as being slightly different.
I don't mind buying cigarettes if I'm not pregnant, so it's not that side of things it's the fact I don't want people to think I'm a heavily pregnant woman who smokes especially when I've done so well to give up cold turkey!

FYI, he is giving up smoking once baby comes as I've told him I am not letting our child be exposed to third hand smoke... But... AIBU?

tabulahrasa Mon 24-Aug-15 11:26:42

Seeing as your objection isn't to him smoking, YABU.

Why does it matter what a random person in a shop thinks of you? I could understand refusing because you don't want to support/be involved in his smoking, but because a stranger might think you're going to smoke them is just silly.

LargeGoldAtrociousCunt Mon 24-Aug-15 11:27:04


msgrinch Mon 24-Aug-15 11:28:05


Minisoksmakehardwork Mon 24-Aug-15 11:28:44

How is buying beer different? Is it because it is more likely to be seen as a "man's drink?"

I think yabu and are trying to push him into giving up before he is ready. Did you give up smoking when you found out you were pregnant, when you started ttc or before you had even thought about having children?

In future don't ask if he wants anything picking up to avoid having to get something you don't want to.

CatthiefKeith Mon 24-Aug-15 11:29:10

Erm, yes you are a bit. But I probably wasn't always rational during pregnancy either! wink

Would you buy him soft cheese, shellfish or unpasteurised milk?

wickedlazy Mon 24-Aug-15 11:29:21

Yabu. Why care what people think? YOU know they aren't for you.

CultureSucksDownWords Mon 24-Aug-15 11:29:33

YABU, really.

As an aside, is he really going to give up smoking when the baby is born? That's going to be somewhat more difficult than giving up now isn't it? What with being sleep deprived and knackered?

coffeeisnectar Mon 24-Aug-15 11:29:35

Yes you are. And get him to start vaping before the baby comes as its a great way to quit.

00100001 Mon 24-Aug-15 11:29:52


Although i would expect DP to give up smoking anyway because of the child - as even secondary smoke is harmful to you and baby.

Don't give a flying money's poo if he "only smokes outside" or "never neaer me" or whatever.

ArmySal Mon 24-Aug-15 11:30:18

Does he object to buying you sanitary products if you ask? Or is he worried a stranger will think he is buying them for himself?

00100001 Mon 24-Aug-15 11:30:24

Your baby already is exposed to secondary smoke.

Macadaamia Mon 24-Aug-15 11:30:32


crazypuglady Mon 24-Aug-15 11:30:37

I bought my colleague fags at 30 weeks. I've never smoked. I never will smoke. I won't even stand near someone who is smoking if I can help it. I just don't really care what a cashier I've never met and will probably never meet again thinks.

One thing though, your baby is due any day and he's still smoking. If you're not going to allow your child to be exposed to third hand smoke he needs to get something in place asap. Quitting smoking is hard enough as it is, add the sleeplessness of a newborn and he might just crack grin

Gymbunny1204 Mon 24-Aug-15 11:32:40

He needs to give up now. Having a baby is stressful, that in top of nicotine withdrawal is a recipe for disaster.

Breezy1985 Mon 24-Aug-15 11:33:37

I didn't smoke whilst pregnant but if someone asked me to pick them up whilst shopping I would, I don't particularly care what some random stranger think.
Beer is no different to cigarettes either hmm

Osolea Mon 24-Aug-15 11:33:41

YABU, and a bit precious.

Surely doing a favour for the person you love and are having a child with is more important that what some random strangers might mistakenly believe?

Macadaamia Mon 24-Aug-15 11:34:52

Op has all these 'yabu' settled the debate for you now?

wafflyversatile Mon 24-Aug-15 11:35:05

I understand where you're coming from. Who needs the judgey looks? With beer people will quite probably dismiss it as being for a man, not you.

I suppose you could mutter something about himself not giving up yet to the cashier.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Mon 24-Aug-15 11:35:47


Who cares what the person serving you thinks? You know the cigs aren't for you.

RevsDeCub Mon 24-Aug-15 11:36:01

Oh I'm gutted now Hides in a corner
I really thought he was being unreasonable!

army he actually said about buying sanitary products for me, but I told him it wasn't the same...

MissSaigon Mon 24-Aug-15 11:36:49

YANBU. I would feel exactly the same.

RevsDeCub Mon 24-Aug-15 11:37:37

& yeah I suppose I do think of beer as being more of a 'mans drink' even though I do like the odd pint! It just seems more acceptable?
Anyway, clearly I am being a bit OTT... As much as it pains me to admit it.

BloodyDogHairs Mon 24-Aug-15 11:38:26

Ok I'll be the 1st YANBU grin I didn't smoke but when I was pregnant my job involved doing shopping for the elderly. I alway hated when I had to buy cigarettes or walk around with a trolley full of alcohol and junk food.

TheReluctantCountess Mon 24-Aug-15 11:40:11

Yanbu. I understand how you feel.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now