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to think nursery should have told other parent

(15 Posts)
maxxytoe Wed 19-Aug-15 17:04:47

The other week I got a frantic call from nursery telling me I needed to collect DS and take him to A+E as another child had bit him on the ear and it was bleeding uncontrollably.

DS needed 4 stitches as his lobe had split sad

I saw the parent of the other child at pickup time today and she commented asking what he'd done , obviously unaware at what had happened !
I told her and she was mortified

Im just about to write an email and don't have a clue where to start angry
AIBU to think its up to nursery and not me to relay important info like this ?!

PamPoovey Wed 19-Aug-15 17:06:56

They should definitely have told the other parent.

DD went through a short biting phase at nursery. I was informed straight away and talked at length with the staff on how best to deal with it. She didn't hurt anyone anywhere near as bad as you've described though.

Poor DS sad .

Ilovecrapcrafts Wed 19-Aug-15 17:07:35

I thought they didn't usually tell the parent which child had done it? Did they maybe tell you in error?

DJThreeDog Wed 19-Aug-15 17:33:39

They shouldn't have told you which child did it.

Hey should have told that child's parents.

I think I'd mention it at drop off or pick up. Not an email.

TheFallenMadonna Wed 19-Aug-15 17:38:17

When DS was at nursery, parents of the biter were told (and asked to sign the book of shame to show it had been discussed) but not given the name of the biter.

Parents of the bitee were told (and signed incident form) but not given the name of the biter.

Of course, the children would tell you once they were able...

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 19-Aug-15 17:38:29

They definitely should have told the other parent. When my DD was in nursery it was their policy that they would tell the parents if their child had been hurt but they wouldnt name the perpetrator. Obviously in case the parents got hold if each other.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 19-Aug-15 17:39:40

Oh hope your little one is okay. The poor little mite.

bloodyteenagers Wed 19-Aug-15 17:40:53

The child might have told the op.

But anyway op - email asking for an update. Ask what is being done to ensure incidents like this don't happen again.

DeandraReynolds Wed 19-Aug-15 17:42:31

They should have told the parent but they might not have said it was your child who was bitten.

CMOTDibbler Wed 19-Aug-15 17:46:22

When my ds was a biter, we were not told who he had bitten, and the bitees parents weren't told who had bitten. I don't think we were told anything about severity either.

MammaTJ Wed 19-Aug-15 17:46:58

They probably did not tell the OP which child did it. The nursery and schools have never told me who has hurt my child but my children have always been able to tell me.

They certainly should have told the other parent. How can that child learn if the nursery is not supported in reinforcing the rules?

Aeroflotgirl Wed 19-Aug-15 17:53:06

Op sorry to hear about your poor ds. The protocol is to inform the other parent what their child did, but not who they bit.

MammaTJ Wed 19-Aug-15 17:53:49

'Dear Nursery manager,

I happened to see Tarquins mother at pick up and, being the lovely person that she is, she asked what had happened to Johnny.

I was embarrassed to have to tell her that Tarquin had bitten her and she was mortified to have to be told this by me.

I do feel that as parents, we play a great role in supporting 'school rules' and obviously not biting other children is a fairly standard rule that children are expected to follow.

I think that after dealing with the aftermath and calling me so appropriate medical care could be administered, Tarquin's parents should also have been informed, both so they could support your rules and to save us both this embarrassment.

Yours

maxxytoe'

DeeWe Wed 19-Aug-15 18:48:38

She may have been told he'd bitten, but not who and how severe it was.

Ds was an occasional biter and at one point I was told he'd bitten. And when I asked they sad that actually he hadn't been seen to do it, child in question had zero marks, and actually they suspected he hadn't but they had to inform me anyway. Both me and the other parents (we knew each other well) were left rather bemused by this.

myknickersknackersknockers Wed 19-Aug-15 19:22:50

Perfect email from mommaTJ.

I'd send that. The nursery should have told the other child's parents what had happened and just told you he'd been bitten by another child.

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