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So fucking angry! (Warning racism and Facebook)

(34 Posts)
98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 09:30:07

Logged on to Facebook this morning to see a "friend" has posted a casually racist comment about another nationality. My DP, DD, and all of Dp's side of the family happen to be this nationality.
I called person up on it immediately by asking if they needed to use the persons nationality. They said yes and defended their use.
I'm dropping it now as don't want an argument on Facebook (I think it is crass but couldn't let it go by without saying something)
Aibu to be upset? This person is supposed to be a friend and is well aware of my DP and DD's nationality.

MamaLazarou Tue 18-Aug-15 09:32:09

Delete, block, shake your head and move on. You can't convert a racist, there's no point engaging in debate with them about it. I'm sorry you have been upset. Most of the world is not like this person.

SkatesMcgee Tue 18-Aug-15 09:34:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 09:37:20

Thank you. Going to delete and block but have to see this person quite often in RL too. Just going to ignore I think.

Fugghetaboutit Tue 18-Aug-15 09:41:21

What did they say or was it a picture?

Fugghetaboutit Tue 18-Aug-15 09:42:27

A friend of mine posts about Muslims burning Poppy's knowing my family is part Muslim. My other friend posted a link underneath showing Muslims selling poppies and supporting troops smile

Cherryblossomsinspring Tue 18-Aug-15 09:42:38

I think many people stereotype, was it something like that? Ie. All French people are rude etc. Not that it's acceptable and it is actually racism in my book but I find it hard to get too worked up about those Irish jokes etc that I get. Probably because I never feel discriminated against unlike the blatant racist comments that actually damage a person's ability to live on an equal footing with everyone else. I do hope in due course however that this casual racism/stereotyping stops being anyway acceptable or something that thoughtlessly comes out of people's mouths.

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 09:44:49

Don't want to be too specific as it'll out me in case anyone is reading, but they intimated that everyone of this nationality is not morally sound.
Wish I'd name changed now so that I could post the exact messages!

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 09:47:05

Cherry - yes it was stereotyping but in a very nasty way. Not the worst thing I've heard, but still not acceptable and really upset me that they would link DP and DD to that kind of generalisation.

LittleLionMansMummy Tue 18-Aug-15 09:55:58

I have a few 'friends' who post anti-muslim sentiments from Britain First. I am not Muslim, but I share your disgust. Tbh I flit between challenging them (as I generally believe that the only way you'll ever ensure 'casual' racism becomes unacceptable is to challenge it) and blocking/hiding posts/defriending (depending in the level if closeness).

Cherryblossomsinspring Tue 18-Aug-15 09:59:15

Well there is a difference OP if the tone was nasty rather than just ignorant and parroting of other stupid people. Go ahead and unfriendly. Maybe alert her to how hurt you feel as she has labelled your dp publically in a negative way before doing it.

AlanPacino Tue 18-Aug-15 10:02:58

I routinely hide family and family friends who post crap about immigrants and so on, I also hide drama llamas. They don't know so it causes no offence to them and I don't get to inadvertently read it.

Oysterbabe Tue 18-Aug-15 10:09:54

I delete anyone who posts anything racist (and also anyone who vaguebooks) zero tolerance.

momb Tue 18-Aug-15 10:12:20

You've raised it with them, they haven't reconsidered their position.
Unfriend, and move on.

Life is too short to be worrying about the friendship of racists or homophobes. I'm finding I enjoy FB much more since my tolerance level dropped and I no longer see stuff which makes me doubt my judgement in being friends with some people at all.

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 10:12:34

Wrote out a long message telling her how sad and disappointed I am but decided not to send in the end as she will argue back and I really don't want to spend my day arguing with an ignorant twat. No matter what I say she won't listen so there really isn't any point.

Twentyninedays Tue 18-Aug-15 10:26:58

I'm white British and all my extended family are.

There are one or two in our extended family who post racist crap, and who also talk about wanting to move overseas, without a shred of irony.

Unfortunately they are not the brightest, even though they think they are, and it would be pointless to challenge them anymore. I used to, but they relished the argument.

Some people are small minded and its best to limit your contact with them, and don't expose your DD to racism.

TwartFaceBeetj Tue 18-Aug-15 10:30:27

I had a friend who was always posting Britain first and other such crap, she worked with a lot of Muslims and had them as facebook friends too confused there were complaints made to the company she worked for because she also had where she worked on her fb, she held onto her job by the skin of her teeth. But quickly changed job afterwards. She wasn't remorseful and claimed she isn't racist hmm
She is no longer on my fb and I don't bother with her in rl anymore.

TRexingInAsda Tue 18-Aug-15 10:35:48

Delete and block on FB. Most people are much more normal in real life, I think the internet does funny things to people where they come out with really hurtful (and stupid) things and don't seem to care, whereas they'd never do that to someone's face. You were right to call her out on it though, hopefully she was defensive because she's embarrassed and just didn't want to lose any more face.

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 11:52:34

Deleted on FB and will avoid or ignore her in RL. If she mentions anything I will explain that what she said was incredibly offensive to my family and that I'm not interested in apologies or exposing my DD to racist vitriol. Will also make sure my dd is never alone with this woman.

SkullyCat Tue 18-Aug-15 12:03:27

my nephew is married to a Turkish Muslim, she's lovely.. but our extended family keep posting anti-muslim shit, and DH did it once.

I ripped him a new one and asked him if he felt that way about his nephews wife.. it was quickly deleted!

People dont think when they post shit on facebook, family/friends are somehow separate from 'them' that they post about!

Starbrite00 Tue 18-Aug-15 12:07:23

Just delete, cant understand anyone that can be friends with a racist or xenophobic person.

98percentchocolate Tue 18-Aug-15 12:09:37

I think you've hit the nail on the head there Skully. Problem is, I saw what she posted and was offended. She needs to deal with the consequences of that now. But she is a bit like Teflon - nothing ever sticks so I doubt she'll ever get any comeback. It'll probably be me that is hounded for calling her out on it.

YourFredIsBoring Tue 18-Aug-15 12:09:39

aibu to be upset?
Uh, if someone is publically being racist, then no!
Not sure why you needed to open a thread to be reassured.

DontHaveAUsername Tue 18-Aug-15 12:11:05

Unfriend and move on I think.

scarlets Tue 18-Aug-15 12:11:26

It must have made for painful reading. Very bad. Delete.

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