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Aibu to need a hand to hold?

(18 Posts)
heartbrokengirlinlondon Sat 15-Aug-15 16:05:02

Split from boyfriend in March after almost 5 years. Have worked tirelessly to try and resolve issues, remain friends, respectful etc Honestly thought we were on the verge of getting back together.... Just found out he's been lying to me and is seeing someone else. I stupidly looked her up on Facebook and and is gorgeous. And young. And she talks about wanting babies. He's been lying and telling me what I want to hear because we are emotionally overly attached but really he's been having his cake and eating it.

Where do I go from here? She has a face and a name. She is real. And he thinks he wants to be with her properly. What do I do? How do I move on now that I know he's met someone else?

It's a pain worse than when we broke up. I've been so silly to believe we both wanted to get back together.

I couldn't find anywhere else to put this. Please tell me it'll get better. Is NC best? Do I need to be cruel to be kind? I'm sorry this is all over the place, I'm falling apart sad

I namechanged. I'm a coward sad

paulapompom Sat 15-Aug-15 16:21:30

Oh God op, that's shit. flowers. From experience I would go nc. Hurts like fuck at first but is better overall. Don't get bogged down by the young and pretty thing, easy to say I know - but Kylie, Kelly brook and all kinds of gorge women get messed about. He's been dishonest and mean to you to make you think you may get back together. Think you will get good advice on hereflowers keep going xx

ImperialBlether Sat 15-Aug-15 16:25:13

I feel sorry for her. She's hardly got herself a prize, has she?

You really have to go NC. It's really hard at first but anything else is much, much harder.

He's not worth it. You know that. He's lied to you, lied to her. He's not worth a minute more of your time.

Block, delete, ignore. It's the only way.


FortyCoats Sat 15-Aug-15 16:27:41

That's really shit OP. YANBU in the slightest flowers

I agree with everything IB said.

LemonPied Sat 15-Aug-15 16:27:45

It's got to be NC so that you can heal.

Fluffyears Sat 15-Aug-15 16:28:33

NC. Is hard but it makes it easier overall as you stop being emotionally invested. Block her Facebook to stop you looking and his. So sorry it is shit I've been there but you can move on.

FenellaFellorick Sat 15-Aug-15 16:30:24

sounds like he was keeping you in reserve while he made up his mind about her.

I'd cut contact. You have no need to stay in his life and you are worth more than to be his plan b.

Leave him to it.

It's painful now but one day it will be a distant memory.

heartbrokengirlinlondon Sat 15-Aug-15 17:29:25

You're all right. NC is the only way to go. Do I forewarn him that I'm doing it and that I don't want to hear from him again? Or do I just do it and let him feel the sick feeling in his stomach like I do when I don't hear from him?

I wish there were a rule book. I feel pathetic sad

FenellaFellorick Sat 15-Aug-15 17:32:11

No, telling him that you are not going to ever talk to him again may sound like you are fishing or hoping for him to say nooooooo don't leave me, it's you I want...

you are assuming he will have a sick feeling. But he may very well have no feelings about it at all. That would make you feel worse, I think. If you told him and he gave not one tiny shit.

Better to remove yourself quietly and with dignity and if he comes calling, tell him that you think he should focus on his relationship with X and to not contact you again.

BettyCatKitten Sat 15-Aug-15 17:34:07

You're not pathetic, he is flowers

BlankSpaceBaby7 Sat 15-Aug-15 17:42:40


heartbrokengirlinlondon Sat 15-Aug-15 22:18:52

I have deleted and blocked him. I feel sick. I've deactivated my Facebook because I just know in a week or so she will have pictures up of them together. I wish he could have just been honest. I want him to be happy and if that isn't with me then that's ok but why lie sad

wowfudge Sat 15-Aug-15 22:26:56

He's been hedging his bets and manipulating you too. It doesn't feel like it now, but it is for the best. You'll just get hurt by him again otherwise.

heartbrokengirlinlondon Sat 15-Aug-15 22:30:48

I know fudge, I know. I just wish I could erase the worry and wonder. I can't imagine never knowing whether he's ok and I hate myself for even thinking that sad

ouryve Sat 15-Aug-15 22:31:56

The thing you do is walk away from him and pity her.

Earlybird Sat 15-Aug-15 22:39:21

Oh, OP. I'm so sorry.

How did you find out?
And, he knows you know about the new gf?

Agree with others. Go no contact. Good that you have deleted / blocked him, and deactivated your FB account.

For now, it will hurt like you've been kicked in the stomach, but much better for you.

heartbrokengirlinlondon Sun 16-Aug-15 08:01:51

That was the first night without a good night text and this will be the first morning without a good morning from him. I bet he is waking up with her. I know this is for the best but why does it have to hurt so much? sad

BettyVonBooperson Sun 16-Aug-15 08:11:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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